Silence between the notes

Loved this to death. It's if not weird at least an awkward family get-together with an absolutely stellar cast (from fantastic Robert Duvall to fantastic John Hurt and from fantastic Kevin Bacon to fantastic Ray Stevenson), directed/starred by the fantastic Billy Bob Thorton who has a flair for words and dialogue and sound (cool soundtrack) and jet-black humour. A bloody fine late 60s timepiece.

People pay to get wet

To be perfectly honest, I watched this movie for about 10 minutes and it just didn't seem right (Costner - Garner chemistry, the uninteresting sport of American football and so on), so I took the disc off the player and considered ripping it apart just for the cheer fun. Hey, it's the second Kevin Costner movie in a short period of time I've done that. For the heck of it, I then read some reviews and they were rather positive, so I replaced the disc and continued where I left off. And I actually finished the movie and now I'm contemplating whether I made the right choice for all eternity.

As long as the story had a happy ending

Two homosexuals adopt an obese and mentally handicapped kid in late 70s Los Angeles. Not exactly my cup of tea, but Alan Cumming and Garret Dillahunt do well in the lead and things do get little exciting when the discrimination and prejudice bits take place. And the ending took my breath away for a moment or two. 

What's wrong with Derek?

Globetrooper Derek has a brain aneurysm and he's a vampire. Of course, we are all very thankful he's got the time updating his online video diaries.

Always the strongest branch

These hairy beasts, they are tough monkeys armed to the teeth. I wouldn't give awards to the computer generated apes for a leading role in motion picture just yet, but it's just one click away. Pretty good, looked a whole lot like the Last Of Us console game.

The Holy Bible is an abyss

This is a movie spin-off of the Hello Ladies series. Well yeah, it's alright, but has really nothing new except for a completion of sort and Nicole Kidman doing a cameo.

Everything is in the pawn shop

French author making do in New York City. Right out in the seen-this-shit-before department although the actors and the street view shots of the city make it enough interesting.

Son of a gun

Liam Neeson is in a tight spot. Now, that's probably something we've seen a few times before. This time around he's federal air marshal service and things don't go his way. Newsflash: with 1,93 m Irishman on board, there's absolutely nothing to worry about.

Fifteen slashes should suffice

It's just one thing that Kit Harington (a.k.a. Jon Snow) is still a terrible actor because everything else in this piece of crap is fucking bent and jinxed as well.

A three-way with the devil

What a let down of a final season. Compared to its predecessors, the passion and the wickedness were all absent. Oftentimes, it looked like an ordinary soap opera. Quite amazing because, once upon a time, it was the best TV.

Being drunk is underrated

I wouldn't have picked and watched this, if it weren't with these wonderful actors. Pretty ordinary mush otherwise. Lots of great actors (Dennis Farina, Robin Williams, Rik Mayall, Philip Seymour Hoffman) passed untimely away this year and also James Gandolfini's death seems so unnecessary and cruel. This was his next to last movie. Well, I checked it - he (as did Dennis) died in 2013, but that does not make a difference, now does it?

The rest is silence

They don't deserve much, these fucks, remakes. Spike Lee directs, Josh Brolin in the lead and the Olsen girl lost in the haze. Maybe if I hadn't seen the original, I'd voice a different opinion. But I have, so I see it more like an insult. The only good thing about this was Michael Imperioli, it was nice to see him around.

The end of all our exploring

With Steve Coogan in the roster, I thought of getting a clever little comedy thing. Instead we got a tearful drama of an retired old lady (Judi Dench) searching for her long lost son who was snatched from her at birth by evil nuns.

Hot tears come splashing down

There's a doctor who needs bone marrow, so he tracks down his past a bit and finds communists and nazis and people who feel no pain. For those who eat this sort of Spanish pseudo-horror for breakfast.

It's a god-awful small affair

A woman finds a mutilated rotten corpse and the detective of the case takes the witness on a date the very same day. After that things take a weird turn. It's somewhat a French film version of Life On Mars TV series without the laughs, but with plenty of proper thrills and darn fascinating storytelling.

Devil is in the detail

Not quite. I mean, old-school westerns are probably my favourite genre of all time. And this Danish production team evidently had the idea to make an old-school western. But like I said, not quite. A clichéd simple story of a vigilante played by Mads Mikkelsen, who, in fact, did very fucken good. Can't say the same of all them others, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Mikael Persbrandt and Eric Cantona. Nice to see Eric though, yet average western probably ain't his niche.

Better make sure to die

It's a sci-fi take on Groundhog Day. Tom Cruise is living the same day over and over and he's in the killing alien bastards to kingdom come business. Liked it, didn't take itself too seriously, but done with skill and conviction.

Witches, sexy witches and hell lord

Speaking of good contemporary horror movies, this title oftentimes comes up. I had to refresh my memory. And it was scorching fun.

Chaos is order yet undeciphered

Not that this was the greatest movie ever, but I paid a lot of attention to the style. Denis Villeneuve is becoming the next director to keep an eye on, probably soon of the same calibre as, say, David Fincher and David Cronenberg. The subtle cinematography is just amazing. Needs a bit better stories is all.

Heck of a lot bullets for fender bender

Billy Bob Thornton makes as memorable a hitman in Fargo as Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Man. Billy Bob, he's always been somewhat underrated an actor despite umpteenth number of intense roles (A Simple Plan, U Turn, Sling Blade, The Man Who Wasn't There). Hope this gives him the respect he deserves. The series, a spin-off of the movie of the same monicker, is one of the best TV productions of the year.

It's Washington after all

Based on a true story, the disaster in the Reagan era that struck one nation like a motherfucker. It really is about the investigation of the case which was shrouded by political secrecy. Comes with people - William Hurt, Bruce Greenwood, Brian Dennehy - that you don't see too often. Pretty good work.

Don't investigate my case

Detective Carl Mørck (Nikolaj Lie Kaas) is like James "Jimmy" McNulty (Dominic West) from The Wire. He smokes, drinks, a bit of stubborn asshole. This Danish thriller based on Jussi Adler-Olsen's novel is really nice and good.

You don't trust God when it comes to concrete

Ivan Locke (Tom Hardy) has a list of things he needs to do while driving. As the utmost priority, he drives where he needs to be, to take care of a fuck-up. Based on one little idea, the whole thing, thence a bit shallow the concept, and done a few times. Still, quite alright.

Frozen down to the core

A family drama thing with an ordinary marine biologist father (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and an adrenaline junkie war photographer wife (Juliette Binoche) who hates life being normal. They have two daughters. And one of the two daughters wants to experience hating life being normal, and family life turns to shit. Rest assured, a tedious fucking thing.

Bones don't lie

Well, of course, what struck me first in this series was New Zealand's stunning fucking landscape. I could easily stare at it for a lifetime. Otherwise, a very good crime thing in its own right. Simple girl-gone-missing story with fucklots of weird colourful characters.

Vaguely amusing joke

Steven Coogan and Rob Brydon are acting themselves. Of course, a scripted story of two comedians doing a car trip that's taking them through thoroughly British countryside and exquisite restaurants. And we watch them talk non-stop. It ain't that bad as it sounds.

When things get dark

Apart from the fact that I've seen it, I remember fuck all of Insidious 1. Probably the same old crap as with this Chapter 2 fucking shit. There are ghosts everywhere and people are mightily scared. Unwelcomely tedious cheap thrills.

Face down in an alley somewhere

Wow. A B-movie scifi thriller head stuck so tight up its ass that, I reckon, everyone either smiles with irony, chooses not to care or does not understand a goddamn thing when they see it.

Apprehend the albino

I watched this garbage for an hour, and for those 60 minutes I contemplated throwing the fucker outta window. The next day I decided to give it a second change and completed it. Didn't like it. Didn't much hate it either. A Kevin Costner version of Taken, or something like that.

In the shadows of shame and fear

I'm old-fashioned when it comes to movies, I don't particularly enjoy the high-tech super expensive flashy shits (Transformers, all the godzillas and what-have-you apes, supermans, ironmans, Captain A-holes etcetera), I like things quiet, character-driven and simple. The X-men series is an exception - the mutant funky business and fact-paced mumbo-jumbo is fucken alright.

Paradise is in hell

Pawn shop robbers are up against a villageful of cannibal witches. A Spanish horror comedy is quite hysterical yet, in all honesty, I expected a whole lot better.

There is a horse on the roof

Well, wasn't this a weird fantasy fucker. A romantic fairytale seasoned with flying horses and gangs of New York. Will Smith as Lucifer was rather ludicrous as well.

Losing love itself

A small town thriller of a fugitive on the loose. I like these kinds that are emotional enough to make you feel good and that are just exciting enough to keep you on your toes and expect for the worse.

All the fellas lay their money down

The titles translates You don't believe this one either..., it's a follow-up to the musings of a Finnish-born actor Ville Haapasalo who makes his living and gets his stories in Russia. A quick interesting read.

President in the making

Finland's National Coalition party people doing a presidential campaign. The most uninteresting fucking topic imaginable. And, of course, piece of shit.

People learn to hate

Idris Elba portrays Nelson Mandela, a thoroughly fine and convincing job there. But as I reckon, Nelson, his family and his 30 million South African compadres suffered to hell and back and yet this movie offers only lukewarm thrills at best.

Washed-up damaged goods

Pro-cycling is a doped-up sport, rotten to the fucking core. Lance Armstrong used all the possible enhanching chemicals possible, was under suspicion throughout his career, got caught and lost all the titles. And yet, he still thinks he's the best. And you know what, he's right. Cycling is a doping sport, pure and simple, they all are drugged out of their fucking minds.

Those are just firecrackers

Oscar Grant goes to jail, gets out, can't keep a job, dabbles in minor drug dealing, but is a decent husband and a great dad. Until shit hits the fan at the Fruitvale Station in Oakland, California. Based on a true story. Not one of those uplifting joyous fucken funny stories.

Three little girls went out on a boat ride and never came back

Season two of this little hidden gem, The Lakes. Quite honestly, the best British TV drama. Everyone should see it a few times.

Piloting a drone from a control facility

Jeffery Deaver's Lincoln Rhyme novels used to be my favourites. They aren't any longer. It's either him or me, one of us has lost his edge. A decent thing, but it feels like it's become a little stagnated the whole series.

Ten happy fingers

It's really just blatantly robbed from Joel Schumacher's Phone Booth (2002), the story, but they made quite an exciting little Hichcockian thriller nevertheless. Flawed in many ways, plotholes aplenty, but good fun.

Loners don't tend to last long

Just fucken excellent never-seen-before cinematography. Two and half hours of pure artistry. The full-blown action is wicked and violent, you are mesmerized by everything you see.

Blackened cajun chicken

The best movie ever released. Or the worst. At least one of those movies that you have to see at least once in your lifetime. Recommended to those poor souls who are open-minded enough and aren't offended by the scum and the filth and the shit, and tits and asses.

Ectoplasm impossibly erupted from entranced mediums

Four full-lenght tricks by my favourite illusionist Derren Brown. Not his best works here however, the Séance bit for instance was quite rubbish.

Nature has an order

A chaotic hunt for one Godzilla and two gigantic beasts who eat plutonium for breakfast. A disaster movie has rarely been this motherfucking boring. It could have been heaps better had they paid any attention to the quality of the colours in the home theater release, watching a black screen makes any movie rather tedious.

The sleeping land

Living is hard in Siberia. Friends may turn into enemies and then there's drugs and clans, and the police ain't too nice either, and they all speak English with a shitty Russian accent. The so called language really got to me, I've seen a few of these foreign (outside Hollywood) movies lately that in hope of a western breakthrough make this desperate language move. I guess this is essentially an Italian movie (directed by Gabriele Salvatores). The hired guns are known figures; John Malkovich (as a clan grandpa) and Peter Stormare (as an ink master). All in all, shittiest thing I've seen all week.

After a month, we ate the weak

A dystopian society and the world has frozen solid. A bullet train as its own enclosed ecosystem circles around the globe and holds the remains of all life. However the tail section ain't too happy eating crap and themselves, so they get very rebellious. Sounds a tad silly, but was quite alrite.

Secrets have a cost

Kinda meh. These superhero movies or what-have-you comic fucks, they've lost the edge, aren't they? It was like watching a video game or animated feature, not a film.

Time is not a garden hose

Intentionally weird - and I usually hate those fuckers. I didn't give a damn of this so called stoner movie either, not that I can say I understood it all. The ins and outs and the core of the story is more than likely explained thoroughly somewhere, but I don't have time for such nonsense.

Pissholes in the snow

Don't know whether it was planned and calculated or plain robbery, but it sure as hell ain't coincidental, as Stanley Kubrick took lots of ideas and footnotes from The Boys In Company C (1978) for his own Vietnam piece Full Metal Jacket (1987), including R. Lee Ermey. And not only Kubrick, Oliver Stone (his Platoon) and Ridley Scott (his American Gangster) were out shopping as well. And it amazes me a little because this ain't that good a movie.