Blank the shroud upon the ground

It's a fictional tour book. My alleyways, so I was quite familiar with lots of the stories inside the novel, so I took it mostly as a biographical report of the last tour of this one particular band. Shit, it's written so well, that you may take it as you like. In short, this band - a rather well-known one - goes on a European tour and they like their drink and they are homesick and they are these northern crazy souls. Liked it a lot.

Have a pancake on a hammock

I hate blatant lies. On the cover, the movie was given either 5 stars or 4 stars by all those professional critics. Ah, and not to forget 4 and half stars by some dimwit genius. If it was even close that great, they'd speak about this fucking movie everywhere. They couldn't stop talking about it. Incessant non-stop fucking hallelujah. Get a real job, losers. The movie is well below average, and fucking stays there.

Death is my true God

I didn't understand what the hell was going on during the first few episodes. Maybe it had taken too long since I saw the second season (and I had forgotten most of the shit) or just maybe the series is overblown with characters. Be it is may, it's still quality television, once you get a grasp of it, it is even better.

The destiny remains

Sehr gut. A German footsoldier perspective on WWII as five friends idealogues shatter and the Third Reich unravels from the inside as the war moves on. Quite rightfully compared to Band Of Brothers.

Hell with a lid off

Tom Berenger did this kind of B-movie crime garbage in the Eighties. Here they wanted to make an old school action thriller, pinpointed it by hiring the very Tom Berenger, but all they could rehash really was the stupendously bad acting.

The world is crazier than you are

Dark elves are fighting against them Nordic gods and their legions. It's quite fucking ridiculous if you really give it a second thought. But then again, second thoughts might as well be for suckers.

Sport the war

CSI meets The Hills Have Eyes and...and nothing. Looks like a bad TV show that is shot almost exclusively on hand-held camera.

Walking down the wrong road

Casey Affleck was so out of his league midst Willem Dafoe, Christian Bale, Woody Harrelson and Sam Shepard that it was quite painstaking to watch. Otherwise, a fucken cool flick. Backwoods American mountain people's fuckadoo of fighting, hunting and killing for remorse has rarely looked this good.

Thinking can be lethal

They didn't know were they doing a drama or comedy of Finland Ski Association's organized doping culture, and the problem lies therein. Could easily be based on a true story as well, but I'm afraid the truth is even more rotten. The former Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson as a taxi driver, probably now true too.

Drive the cold winter away

This was sort of awesome. There was a definite European feel to it (they spoke French, German and Occitan), the subtle not-busied camera work gave enough leeway to let the story and actors do the talking and the soundtrack was hardly ever there which gave way to the natural sounds. And the ever brilliant Mads Mikkelsen did the lead as a medieval vigilante fighting for justice.

There are no mistakes

I just went through the Netflix collection and found this fucker. Harry Dean Stanton is the coolest, most extraordinary and sort of mythical figure in Hollywood and he does not give a fuck. In this portrait he (and his colleagues) muses some, is silent lots and sings like an angel.

Horny horny horny duck

No matter how much you appreciated Breaking Bad and Bryan Cranston, under no circumstances, do not hire him to portray a half-blind Russian hitman. As generic a thriller as they come.

King of the fucking castle

The most horrifying situation. The world is frozen solid and it's snowing, like, constantly. There are few good people left, but there are also bad people roaming about and they are not nice because they like the taste of human flesh. It's a struggle for survival. The end of the world has seldom been this motherfucking boring.

Slave to desires

A serial killer hunt set in volatile Belfast, Ireland. Only a five episode season (I'm told they're filming the second season as we speak), and it's quite fucking excellent.