Catching lightning in a bottle

Different than any climber. Doing things that people thought could never be done. Pushing the limits. Comfortable on mountainous terrain. On hindsight, too comfortable. Marc-André Leclerc 1992-2018. He died doing what he loved so much. Frightening experience to watch his solo climbing tasks. Everything in Peter Mortimer's and Nick Rosen's The Alpinist predicts his death.

Too much sun will burn

On a recruitment door-to-door mission couple of sick cultists from the Colony of the Redeemers of Last Chance involuntarily join a role playing game in the home of a family they just have infiltrated! The other players are in character and don't know the true nature of things. None of them do really. Lunastajat, by Niko Kelkka and Miro Laiho, looks like bunch of Theatre Academy dropouts are ending their unemployment and making a movie.

It's hard to keep track of all the scumbags

Deep-sea researchers fight against megalon sons of bitches and outlaw diving squad stealing priceless minerals from the bottom of the ocean! Special effects people and Jason Statham stunt doubles had a field day. Nothing exciting translated to screen though.

Summer of sorcery

A gay couple move to a suspicious little town where people seem bigoted or downright hostile. They encounter unexplained aggression against their privacy and become both paranoid and scared. Particularly the author of the two, traumatized already by the events that happened a decade ago, is really shitting his pants. He sees homophobic devil-worshippers everywhere. Spiral, a horror movie by Kurtis David Harder, starts interestingly enough, but falls apart quite soon after.  

Where does all the ungratefulness stem from?

It's not easy for Pearl. A farm girl. Husband in Europe fighting in WWI. Daddy stricken with disease. A tyrant of a mom. But she still has dreams, does Pearl, and nothing should come her way chasing those dreams. They don't often, if ever, give Academy Awards for horror movies, but they should reward movies like this, Mia Goth alone is amazing. It's a deliciously wicked movie by Ti West that was, curiously enough, shot at the same time as X (2022).

Golden age of the lowland

Season # 2 of Luottomies. Just about perfect entertainment to pick up when you don't know what to do. Cringe-worthy fun Finnish comedy.

The watchers of the altered state

Really impressive and satisfyingly wicked supernatural horror. Four Norwegian kids in the same neighborhood discover their psychic powers and such mysterious magic in the hands of children is a dangerous thing. Riveting Nordic low-key cinema, chilling atmospheric horror to the bone!

Humans have only one ending

Someone has opened a portal. There is a rip in the continuum that is the membrane between Barbie Land and the Real World. It must be fixed or else the perfect girls and boys are about to look like ordinary people. And their world becomes sad and mushy and complicated. Barbie has to go to the real world and find the person who is playing with her. She never should have taken Ken with her. High expectations, but a big let-down in the end. A strong start turns into dull endeavor pretty quickly.

The cosmic wilderness

It's been a while now with the Wes Anderson films, it's style over substance. Granted, his works have never been for everyone. The quirkiness in the storytelling is original, remarkable and, often, quite funny. The actors and the stars who are aplenty must certainly have the loveliest time doing something different for a change. Like Bryan Cranston said, filming this movie was an actor's dream camp. But there's hardly anything rewarding for the people on the other end of the line.

The height of conceit

Those NASA bastards. To retain their funding and public admiration they fake a Mars landing. Those knobheads! Dunno how I've managed to miss this gem of a movie before! It's a bloody thrilling conspiracy film! Loved every minute. Directed by Peter Hyams and starring Elliott Gould, James Brolin, Sam Waterston and Sam Holbrook to name a few.

We are connected

It seems something extraterrestrial is lurking in the Swedish countryside. Aptly titled cultish amateur group UFO Sweden is obviously very interested in quirky incidents, but none is more determined than Denise whose father apparently was abducted by the aliens. They need some concrete evidence to convince everyone else as well, otherwise they are considered loonies and possibly sent to an asylum. The movie, in the X-Files territory, is cool and charming, well worth a watch, but nothing overly spectacular. 

If you put peace out in the world, you get peace back

It's like a class union of assassins. A train trip from Tokyo to Kioto. Everyone after a bagful of ransom money, fighting against each other to survive, each somehow connected to The White Death, a Yakuza crime lord. And there's a snake on the train! A non-stop ride but hardly any substance. Jokes and bullets fired from left to right, but missing targets. Something close to early Guy Ritchie pieces. Just easily forgettable popcorn entertainment.

This family is from the ghetto

Dunno why everyone made such a deal about it. The story of Richard Williams, the father of renowned tennis players Venus and Serena Williams, ain't interesting enough for a movie. And quite frankly, Will Smith portraying him, can’t do anything to save it. In fact, he’s borderline terrible. Handing him the Academy Award is just someone's bad joke. I'm sure the story is fabricated and sugar-coated to hell and back as well.

A dying man scared of the dark

An old notorious gunslinger J.B. Books has an advanced cancer. Once he hears of his condition and inescapable destiny, he checks in a guesthouse in Carson City to wait around to die. His enemies however think he is not going to die fast enough. A Don Siegel film starring John Wayne, Lauren Bacall, Ron Howard, Hugh O'Brien, John Carradine, Richard Boone, Scatman Crothers and James Stewart.

There's no present like time

A pointless follow-up to The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. The manager of the establishment Sonny Kapoor (Dev Patel) wants to marry the love of his life Sunaina (Tina Desai) and expand his empire. The film greatly concentrates on that. Otherwise is much the same as the first one. Richard Gere joins the cast.

To outsource old age

There's a somewhat derelict old building masqueraded as a luxury resort and hotel for the British elderly in Jaipur, India. A pleasant film. Not quite necessarily make you want to retire in India, but the cast (Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Maggie Smith, Tom Wilkinson, Celia Imrie, Ronald Pickup, Penelope Wilton and Maggie Smith) does their best to sell it.

Geography is destiny

Not quite convinced of John Krasinski as Jack Ryan, a CIA analyst and intelligence officer. Don't see any specific reason either. Maybe his boyish looks or his past roles needlessly confuse things. Either way, the show - Jack Ryan TV-series - is good so far. Not great but more than watchable stuff on the post 9/11 espionage. Heard something completely different from the second season.

Do not shit where you eat

Porter just wants his money back. Mel Gibson is at his absolute best in Brian Helgeland's Payback (1999). He portrays a street-wise tough at nails no-shit-giving crook seeking revenge of the wrong-doings against him. He is out to there to make things straight with heroin dealers, sado-masochists, crooked cops, mobsters and such! And it makes terribly entertaining crime noir.