Thursday, February 29, 2024

The way of the flesh

They're shipping violent criminals from The Philippines to South Korea and the prisoners are trying to get control of the ship. They soon however have a common enemy, someone or something called Alpha, in the ship. And it turns bloody and ugly. Too bad it's the only thing Kim Hong Sun's Project Wolf Hunting has to offer. 

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Bad girls burn in hell

Burglars looking for gold coins find imprisoned people on the basement of the derelict building and become trapped themselves! Wes Craven's low budget ($6.0 million) 1991 film is a cool horror thriller, Everett McGill and Wendy Robie are brilliant house owner crazies and the story, truly bizarre and offbeat, is unique.

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Life is like a parody of your favorite song

A parody biopic of "Weird Al" Yankovich, a comedy musician best known for his polka medleys and parody songs. Comedy music is hard to see as a music genre and it's only fun while it lasts. This movie though, it's written well and the tone and approach of its comedy is refreshing and quite clever. Daniel Radcliffe as Weird Al is absolutely great and familiar faces such as Conan O'Brien (as Andy Warhol), Jack Black (as Wolfman Jack), Josh Groban, Patton Oswalt and Will Forte, even if briefly, kept popping us as guests. Brilliantly fictionalized biopic of a parody artist.

Thunderbird in the sky

Set in the Comanche Nation 300 years ago, a young warrior girl fights against a predator that landed on Earth. The highly evolved alien with a technically advanced arsenal seem like an infeasible adversary for the Native Americans equipped with bows and arrows. But the girl, Naru, is a resilient little combatant. The Predator franchise yet with another follow-up and where it’s not wholly bad, it’s rather predictable and not very exciting.

Endless forms most torturous

To cure his cancer, a sick and desperate John Kramer travels to Mexico for a risky and experimental medical treatment and procedure. However, the entire operation is a scam. So John turns the tables on the con artists and it’s a payback time! And he has new tricks up in his torture sleeve! Saw X, by Kevin Greutert, is one of the best movies in the Saw franchise, probably the best since the original (2004).

Friday, February 23, 2024

A vague terror crept from the darkness

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Every murderer is someone's old friend

Long ago lost his faith, the retired rational thinking detective Poirot is invited into a séance. It takes place in Venice where, as the saying goes, every house is haunted. Or cursed. Soon the detective is wrapped in a case of a dead young girl, believed drowned. And fresh corpses make another mystery. Yet again another of one Sir Kenneth Branagh's Agatha Christie adaptations and even if it's nothing overly spectacular, it's a fun ride.

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Digging a hole with your name

A man with no brains (they call him Airhead) and a profligate undertaker with a gambling problem venture into a business of carrying corpses of the game of Russian Roulette, a real life (or death) game streamed online. The story alone of the heartless and the brainless is worth a thousand applause. Great black comedy to boot. Finnish movie written and directed by Teemu Nikki, starring Pekka Strang, Jari Virman, Elina Knihtilä and Hannamaija Nikander.

Death to the holy

Quite lost in the The Nun and The Conjuring franchise. They are pretty cool scary pictures on their own right, but I don’t have the patience or the interest to follow the big picture. The Nun II, by Michael Chaves, is a follow-up to the gothic horror we’ve enjoyed in the past. Set in 1956 France, people are shit-cared by demon nun Valak.

What comes singing, leaves whistling

A documentary film that focuses on ancient Finnish folklore and mythology. Ukonvaaja translates to The Hammer of Ukko. Musician, poet and household shaman A.W. Yrjänä guides us through the whole thing. Awkwardly narrow outlook on the subject, but quite entertaining still.

Just one little attitude problem

Sure as shit it’s crapped full of 80s naivety and it’s cringe-worthy now, but so are the most of the action movies of the yesteryear. Steven Seagal, Jackie Chan or Chuck Norris never pulled off such coolness as Sylvester Stallone in Cobra (1986) or in his other bits. Much like his pal Arnold Schwarzenegger, it’s not Mel Gibson or Bruce Willis or, god forbid, Clint Eastwood, but it’s worth your while. A strange murderous cult runs rampant in the city of Los Angeles and hard-as-nails Lieutenant Cobra stands in their way.

Thursday, February 15, 2024

Dead man makes you realize time is short

For everyone who wants to get bored to shit. Given that it has an almost endless number of A-List Hollywood actors (Christian Bale, Margot Robbie, Chris Rock, Michael Shannon, John David Washington, Mike Myers, Robert De Niro, Timothy Olyphant, Rami Malek, Zoe Saldana, Anya Taylor-Joy) with a merited director David O. Russell (American Hustle, Joy, The Fighter, Three Kings), Amsterdam is tedious beyond belief. It looks like a proper fucking film, but the endless and meaningless dialogues and introducing new people around every corner, it backfires big time. Nicked the worst bits of the Wes Anderson films, at best.

Handing out better days

Häiriötekijä, by Aleksi Salmenperä and the geniuses at professional theater group Q-teatteri, is just about the most wicked Finnish comedy film. A flabbergasting episodic piece that is disturbing and audacious. And diabolically funny.

Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning

Prob'ly my favorite Alfred Hitchcock movie ages ago. There's frightening birds killing humans and eating their fucking eyes out. However unlike majority of his movies, I'm afraid The Birds hasn't stood the test of time that well. Had it been done now, it would quite likely be ridiculed. It's not that very good. At least, not this time it was. Fond childhood memory sadly buried by history.

The way of the flesh

They're shipping violent criminals from The Philippines to South Korea and the prisoners are trying to get control of the ship. They soo...