In Texas you are on your own

The directional debut of Joel and Ethan Coen. Released in 1984. Outstanding crime-noir. A simple revenge mission goes haywire from the get-go and everyone is a bit clueless what the hell is going on, but those watching the whole show are thoroughly entertained. The brothers began their career with a proper explosion.

Every corpse has a story

A somewhat ghoulish and creepy mortician (Clancy Brown) is telling ghost stories to his new assistant. A nice surprise. Atmospheric, deliciously sickening and macabre horror anthology. The new generation Creepshow.

Does this translate, pendejo?

Spring is coming and so is the Purge, the national holiday celebrating American freedom sanctioned by the U.S. government when nothing is prohibited. You can maim and slaughter people as you please. The good people of Mexico come to help because this time it seems the Purge will last forever. The 5th film in the Purge franchise and you probably watch it once.

No worries, there'll always be more endangered species

This has aged remarkably well. A funny little family comedy of Sasquatch. The versatile actor John Lithgow already had an excellent comic timing and the story is silly and innocent enough. Directed by William Dear in 1987. Besides Lithgow, people like Don Ameche, David Suchet and M. Emmet Walsh in the cast. 

The bottomless pit of human greed

One of the greatest discoveries as of late. The lawyer Cleaver Greene is bit of a rascal. He doesn't mind speaking his mind, getting wasted on alcohol or occasional lines of cocaine, shacking whoever women who comes his way, gambling and behaving like shit. But he's also quick-witted, pretty good at his profession, a decent father and a loveable, cool and funny man. Rake is an Australian television series and it's like no other. This was the first season, looking forward to catch the others. Stand-out move to cast two renowned heavy-weights Hugo Weaving and Sam Neill as guest stars portraying a cannibal and a zoophiliac. Just brilliant.

Dark-heaving, boundless, endless

Pretty fresh in my memory, but accidentally caught it from television and simply stuck watching it. Actually, better than I remembered. Flaws aside, a gripping story and Mads Mikkelsen fucking excels.

Crying over milk that spilt

After being directly involved with a fellow officer's death, a Texas Ranger relocates to countryside - a lovely little town called Horse Cave - where he can uphold the law unarmed and at peace with himself and the citizens. Until shit evil bikers arrive and disturbe this peace! There's just about everything wrong with this movie, one of those things that it's so bad that it is entertaining. But this is very bad. Probably the worst movie I've seen in twenty years. That bad. A bit embarrassing for Guy Pearce, doubt he cares though.

Destiny is a bitch

Those motherfuckers imported an invasive and uncontainable species on a tropical island just to create a hunt like no other. These animals are graboids, vicious subterranean predators, known for creating havoc and immense death from Nevada to Mexico (as reported in Tremors, Tremors 2: Aftershocks, Tremors 3: Back to Perfection, Tremors 4: The Legend Begins, Tremors 5: Bloodlines and Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell). Once again, monster hunter Burt Grummer (Michael Gross) is on the case.

Eyes blaze like meteors

Tommi Korpela and Janne Reinikainen are acting fictionalized themselves. Whenever anyone of the Finnish Julmahuvi group (Korpela, Reinikainen, Petteri Summanen, Jukka Rasila or Jani Volanen) brainstorm and write a show, it's shitloads funnier than anything else. They are responsible for shows like Studio Julmahuvi, Mennen tullen, M/S Romantic and Ihmebantu. In Napamiehet (Northern Mishaps) Tommi and Janne get a grazy idea of running to North Pole, but the show is more about the journey than the destination, their somewhat awkward personalities, their acting careers, their nitpicking and all-around shithousery in Helsinki.

Calls to heaven for human blood

It's not particularly cool to get stuck in an underground cave where water is rising with a crocodile for company. This happens to five Australian adventurers and they aren't happy. They are shit-scared. Nothing else but watchable claustrophobic horror.

Salute the lustres of the stars

December 1941, somewhere in Siberia, Russian sniper Red Ghost puts fear in the hearts of an elite German death squad. Teamed up with like-minded partisans he has a whole lot of nazis to deal with. Out of nowhere, a fresh little Russian movie of people fighting for survival, against the coldness of winter and the iron claws of the Wehrmacht. Reminiscences of Quentin Tarantino and Sergio Leone westers. Definitely good stuff.

As above so below

Detective Jack Irish is looking for a red book, a photo album, of dirty little secrets. It's been a good TV film series, it's easy-going, funny and exciting enough. Not exactly fireworks all the time, but it's like a decent hard-boiled detective novel that you thoroughly enjoy reading. Looking forward to the actual television drama series (2012-2021), not just the films.

If it looks and sounds like shit, it must be shit

The line-up alone. Burt Reynolds, Luis Guzmán, Julianne Moore, Don Cheadle, Mark Wahlberg, Thomas Jane, William H. Macy, John C. Reilly, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Heather Graham, Philip Baker Hall. Crazy. Another crazy thing is that it was made in 1997, makes it rougly 25 years ago. Hard to believe. Late 70's and early 80's adult entertainment people going haywire of all the porn, coke and unfilled dreams. The story is more tragic than I remembered, but amazing stuff, still.

Dressed as a court jester

This is just absolutely crazy. So over the top superhero fuckery that it's borderline tasteless. It's more whacked than Deadpool, not as funny though. A walk-on story with weird characters creating havoc on the leading roles. You are superficially entertained.

Lungs fill with blood

A high school shooting. It's perfect therapy for young student who's been depressed and rebellious lately because she still mourns the death of her mother. That's right, just before a prom night, bunch of cunts hijack a school Columbine style and a massacre begins. The hero has plenty of people to save before the whole building might blow up to kingdom come. Somewhat a plotholed thing, a littly silly too, but Run Hide Fight is an exciting thriller and a reminder how evil is this kind of shit. The lead star, Isabel May, is brilliant.

If Queen had balls, she'd be King

Mean Streets is a 1973 crime film directed by Martin Scorsese. It stars Harvey Keitel and Robert De Niro. A stepping stone to all of them in their remarkable careers. A depiction of the hectic street life of petty gangsters in Little Italy, New York. Keitel and De Niro showing breathtaking talent.

Either beast or an angel

The year is 2044. The global population has exploded. Resources are running low. The planet is dying. Therefore they've developed a Samsara program which aims to build Earth's first colony by the year 2052. Due to an emergency separation and the destruction of the mothership two people - both prisoners - are trapped in a spacecapsule. Solitary is tagged as 'The worst punishment imaginable' - couldn't agree more. Zero budget nonsense.

Isolation is a killer

Friends in a covid quarantine expand their minds together with LSD and celebrate through group video chat. And people die and everything turns to shit. Luckily they all are imbeciles, so no one gives a fuck. Safer at Home is a laughable flawed thriller garbage. Worst fucking actors to boot. Watch Host (2020) by Rob Savage instead.

2021

MOVIES

Palm Springs (Max Barbakow)
Ready or Not (Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett)
After the Wedding (Susanne Bier)
Zero Dark Thirty (Kathryn Bigelow)
Nattevagten (Ole Bornedal)
Unhinged (Derrick Borte)
The Grey (Joe Carnahan)
Boss Level (Joe Carnahan)
Mosul (Matthew Michael Carnahan)
Pour Elle (Fred Cavayé)
Borat (Larry Charles)
Fargo (Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)
Non-Stop (Jaume Collet-Serra)
Unknown (Jaume Collet-Serra)
Run All Night (Jaume Collet-Serra)
The Courier (Dominic Cooke)
Scream (Wes Craven)
Play Misty for Me (Clint Eastwood)
Gran Torino (Clint Eastwood)
Remember (Atom Egoyan)
Promising Young Woman (Emerald Fennell)
The Game (David Fincher)
A Walk Among the Tombstones (Scott Frank)
Shooter (Antoine Fuqua)
The Trouble with Harry (Alfred Hitchcock)
Memories of Murder (Bong Joo Ho)
Shorta (Frederik Louis Hviid, Anders Ølholm)
Alone (John Hyams)
Judas and the Black Messiah (Shaka King)
Speedy Gonzales - noin 7 veljeksen poika (Ere Kokkonen)
Snowflake (Adolfo J. Kolmerer, William James)
Quiet Place Part II (John Krasinski)
Lucky (John Carroll Lynch)
Thin Red Line (Terrence Malick)
The Painted Bird (Václav Marhoul)
Karpo (Ari Matikainen)
Seven Psychopaths (Martin McDonagh)
Bottle Shock (Randall Miller)
Nobody (Ilya Naishuller)
Motherless Brooklyn (Edward Norton)
Patriot Games (Phillip Noyce)
Polar (Jonas Åkerlund)
Jeremiah Johnson (Sydney Pollack)
Spinal Tap (Rob Reiner)
Wrath of Man (Guy Ritchie)
Target Number One (Daniel Roby)
Captain Fantastic (Matt Ross)
Host (Rob Savage)
The Sixth Sense (M. Night Shyamalan)
The Siege of Jadotville (Richie Smyth)
Prisoners (Denis Villeneuve)
Another Round (Thomas Vinterberg)
Shot Caller (Ric Roman Waugh)
Death Wish (Michael Winner)
Upgrade (Leigh Whannell)
Bleeder (Nicolas Winding Refn)
Hot Fuzz (Edgar Wright)
The 12th Man (Harald Zwart)

SERIES

Jack Irish (Andrew Anastasios, Matt Cameron, Andrew Knight)
Trailer Park Boys (Mark Clattenburg)
Seinfeld (Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld)
Perry Mason (Ron Fitzgerald, Rolin Jones)
Fargo Season 2 (Noah Hawley)
Night Stalker: The Hunt for a Serial Killer (Eli Holzman, Aaron Saidman)
Mare of Easttown (Brad Ingelsby)
Tunna blå linjen (Cilla Jackert)
The Undoing (David E. Kelley)
Snabba Cash (Jens Lapidus, Oskar Söderlund, Jesper Ganslandt)
Roy Grace (Russell Lewis)
The Night Of (Richard Price, Steven Zaillian)

R.I.P.

Nikolay Antoshkin (colonel general) born 1942 (aged 78)
Ned Beatty (actor) born 1937 (aged 83)
Jim Bembroke (musician) born 1946 (aged 75)
Teje Caldén (record laber owner) born 1953 (aged 68)
Sonny Chiba (actor) born 1939 (aged 82)
Chick Corea (musician) born 1941 (aged 79)
Malcolm Dome (music journalist) born 1955 (aged 66)
Hans-Erik Dyvik Husby aka Hank von Hell (musican) born 1972 (aged 49)
Kimmo Elomaa (businessman) born 1953 (aged 68)
Timo Eränkö (musician) born 1952 (aged 69)
Larry Flynt (publisher) born 1942 (aged 78)
Jimmy Greaves (footballer) born 1940 (aged 81)
Johnny Gustafsson (musician) born 1948 (aged 73)
Aikka Hakala (musician) born 1957 (aged 63)
Dusty Hill (musician) born 1949 (aged 72)
Laila Hirvisaari (author) born 1938 (aged 83)
Hal Holbrook (actor) born 1925 (aged 95)
Mike Howe (musician) born 1965 (aged 55)
Sir Roger Hunt (footballer) born 1938 (aged 83)
CJ Hunter (athlete) born 1968 (aged 52)
Boris Hurtta (author) born 1945 (aged 75)
Ian St John (football player) born 1938 (aged 82)
Joey Jordison (musician) born 1975 (aged 46)
Matti "Mölli" Keinonen (ice hockey player) born 1941 (aged 80)
Larry King (television host) born 1933 (aged 87)
Yaphet Kotto (actor) born 1939 (aged 81)
Kirsi Kunnas (author) born 1924 (aged 96)
Alexi Laiho (musician) born 1979 (aged 41)
Anita Lane (musician) born 1959 (aged 61)
John Lawton (musician) born 1946 (aged 74)
Pirkko Liinamaa (TV personality) born 1932 (aged 88)
Norman Lloyd (actor) born 1914 (aged 106)
Sean Lock (comedian) born 1963 (aged 58)
Norm Macdonald (comedian) born 1959 (aged 61)
Gavin MacLeod (actor) born 1931 (aged 90)
Pave Maijanen (musician, record producer) born 1950 (aged 70)
Gerry Marsden (singer) born 1942 (aged 78)
Helen McCrory (actress) born 1968 (aged 52)
Hannu Mikkola (rally driver) born 1942 (aged 78)
Sir Thomas Moore (benefactor) born 1920 (aged 100)
Max Mosley (racing driver) born 1940 (aged 81)
Gerd Müller (footballer) born 1945 (aged 75)
Lou Ottens (the inventor of the cassette tape) born 1926 (aged 94)
Kirsti Paakkanen (business executive) born 1929 (aged 92)
Lars Göran Petrov (musician) born 1972 (aged 49)
Christopher Plummer (actor) born 1929 (aged 91)
Prince Philip (prince) born 1921 (aged 99)
Colin Powell (politician) born 1937 (aged 84)
Marion Ramsey (actress) born 1948 (aged 73)
Anne Rice (author) born 1941 (aged 80)
Lucinda Riley (author) born 1966 (aged 55)
Tanya Roberts (actress) born 1955 (aged 65)
Mick Rock (photographer) born 1948 (aged 72)
Donald Rumsfeld (politician) born 1932 (aged 88)
Matti "Fredi" Siitonen (musician) born 1942 (aged 78)
Wilbur Smith (author) born 1933 (aged 88)
Phil Spector (record producer) born 1939 (aged 81)
Leon Spinks (boxer) born 1953 (aged 67)
Jim Steinman (composer) born 1947 (aged 73)
Dean Stockwell (actor) born 1936 (aged 85)
Mika Sundqvist (musician) born 1947 (aged 74)
Kim Suominen (footballer) born 1969 (aged 52)
Sylvain Sylvain (record producer, musician) born 1951 (aged 69)
Desmond Tutu (human rights activist) born 1931 (aged 90)
Jean-Marc Vallée (director) born 1963 (aged 58)
Eric Wagner (musician) born 1959 (aged 62)
Kirsti Wallasvaara (actress) born 1942 (aged 78)
Waldemar Wallenius (journalist) born 1948 (aged 73)
Jessica Walter (actress) born 1941 (aged 80)
Charlie Watts (musician) born 1941 (aged 80)
Betty White (actress) born 1922 (aged 99)
Sir Frank Williams (F1 chief) born 1942 (aged 79)
Michael K. Williams (actor) born 1966 (aged 54)
Marsha Zazula (record label owner) born 1952 (aged 68)