Hollow lights of the ivory tower

Three lighthouse keepers in a desperately isolated island are interrupted by a dead person and a casketful of gold. And there's always people looking for missing gold. A place where no one can hear you scream is a perfect spot for some manslaughter, bashing of heads and piling up corpses. And losing marbles. Didn't buy an ounce of this based on a true story psychological thriller, but quite watchable nevertheless.

The insect beetles

What a wonderful idea for a movie. During a one minute global power failure, a striving musician Jack Malik (Himesh Patel) has a little biking accident and he wakes up in a world where The Beatles never existed. The band has been wiped out from the collective memory of all the other people in the world. Soon Jack realizes the fame and fortune he could summon. Too bad that the movie didn't utilize the original idea much further because the semi-romantic mush they also had in mind didn't bring that much value to the story.

The underwear on the outside

Dr. Staple (Sarah Paulson) treats people who think they are comic book characters. Her patients are David Dunn aka The Overseer, Kevin Wendell Crumb aka The Horde and Elijah Prince aka Mr. Glass (Bruce Willis, James McAvoy and Samuel L. Jackson respectively). Superhumans need to prove the good doctor and the rest of the world wrong. And it's utterly boring.

Wolves of the judgement time

These Vinlanders - they're a neo nazi viking group from Richmond, Virginia. They're white power supporters and they hate blacks, hispanics, everyone really who aren't them. With all the viking and all the nazi shit, they are also pretty naive and downright fucking stupid. One lad with some neurocells left wants to get out of the organization. His former associates, the white power for life people - his own mom included - aren't too happy. It gets pretty nasty and hostile. The story is a bit too rushed really, but a pretty powerful movie nevertheless.

Never loved properly

Well, this beats the Freddie Mercury movie - Bohemian Rhapsody - to shit. Elton John's life depicted - with all the misery and extravaganza - colourfully and shamelessly. It's all about the excess use of booze and drugs, the burnouts and tantrums, pain and pleasure, pure madness, difficult relationships and otherwise hectic life of the biggest rock and roll star of the universe. Taron Egerton proves how a versatile actor he is.

Wanked off being a cop groupie

This has little bit of everything. It's a buddy comedy really, but has its action and thrills, and it's pretty violent too. On the soft note, there's laughs and little romance. There's wonderfully penned dialogue motormouthed by James Woods and Michael J. Fox. Not to forget, a great psychopath (Stephen Lang). The Hard Way (1991) is one of my old favourites and it was nice to see it has aged remarkably well.

Flies still eat shit

What a bummer. Hardly surprising for a Nicolas Cage thriller. He has done thousands of these. This time he's Frank, a con man on parole after 19 years in prison and he has a score to settle. Terribly poor, ridiculously acted straight-to-DVD garbage.

Fireball blues

I thought of quitting on this film after the first 15 minutes when I noticed that the fucking thing is almost two and half hours long. Should I spend that much time with a South Korean movie - and that only because I don't know about the local cinema. But I stuck on with it because it was kind of captivating. The story. Boy meets girl. The girl meets another boy. The first boy gets jealous. The second boy confesses of having a suspicious hobby. The girl disappears. The first boy desperately wants to find her. And it's a pretty good mystery.

Heartbeat of America

I don't know why I chose to watch Whitney - a 2018 documentary of Whitney Houston, pop singer. Never followed her life or career in any way. Sure, I was aware of her untimely demise and her time on the headlines like the next man, but that's about it. Ultimately you pick up documentaries because of raw brutal truth of things. You seek sensationalism. So, I guess I did just that. Whitney Houston loved God, her shithead husband Bobby Brown, greedy father and drugs. Not necessarily in that order. On a better note, she was loved by her family, millions of fans and she was a pretty good singer. Exceptional even. She was also a hopeless mother, a fucking devil incarnate. And that's fucking sad because she was such a sweet little talented girl in the beginning. Wrong fucking choices, wrong fucking people around her.

Broadsword calling Danny Boy

I have watched I Where Eagles Dare (Brian G. Hutton, 1968) a few times already, but made a memo to watch it again because I reckon it was Steven Spielberg who recently listed it as the best war movie of all time. And it's always cool to come back to classics. Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton killing nazis, flushing out double agents and bromancing in a nazi occupied castle.

Ophelia, call the police

This is real boogieman shit right here. A family's doppelgängers pay them a visit and it's stuff of nightmares. Continues the great macabre humour where Jordan Peele's previous Get Out left off. Creepily entertaining. Perhaps too persistently tried to explain the unexplainable, but still a hoot.

Don't text and swing

Elementals (air, water, fire, earth) are fucking up the planet. Or so it seems. Spiderman is travelling around Europe and meets up a supervillain Mysterio. To me, easily the worst Spider-Man movie, but read lots of good comments on this, so probably am fucken wrong.

The mind is a fragile thing

This X-Man, Jean aka Phoenix (Sophie Turner) feels betrayed by everyone, so with the recently acquired omnipotent cosmic forces, she separates herself from the organization. This is a perfect oppurtunity for an evil alien species to gain foothold on earth. Mutants fighting against each other. Total clusterfuck, but absolutely nothing new under the sun.

Killer beast on the rampage

I thought I had left the story of Dumbo - a flying elephant - on my childhood. And ordinary I wouldn't even consider seeing a Disney movie, but it however is a Tim Burton film and there's certain money back guarantee in it. And like all the good stories go, there's both the element of danger and a satisfying end. Both good characters and evil villains. A strong cast of Colin Farrell, Michael Keaton, Eva Green and Danny DeVito and, obviously, a smart baby elephant with big ears.

Haven is safe no more

There's a $14 million price tag on John Wick's head. And it guarantees that Mr. Wick leaves an innumerable body count in his wake. The way he raises hell is full of elegant and entertainment. Watching people die has never looked so groovy.

Masque of the red death

A preacher banishes alcohol, gamling and whores from a small western town Garlow. However, the first thing an outlaw gang does while residing in the town is establishing a saloon specializing on those things. The decent folks of the town - like an Irish undertaker Patrick Tate (Emily Hirsch) - are caught up in a crossfire. Literally. And the undertaker has his hands full of customers. The story in its vulgar confrontation is alright and it's pretty grim, gritty and dark, but never really properly ignites.

I heard you paint houses

Every once in a while pops up a movie that no words do enough justice. From The Good, the Bad, the Ugly to The Godfather, from Apocalypse Now to Goodfellas, from Pulp Fiction to Big Lebowski. The Irishman is one of those movies. Martin Scorsese's epic 3-hour scorcher is a masterpiece, you just sit and wonder its greatness. The quartet (Scorsese, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Al Pacino) should win all the possible motion picture awards this year.

Whose funeral is this?

The 9th James Bond film, directed by Guy Hamilton in 1973, starring Roger Moore as the agent 007, Jane Seymour as the Bond girl Solitaire, Bernard Lee as Bond's superior (the head of MI6), no-one as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Yaphet Kotto as Kananga/Mr. Big, the producer of heroin, as the main antagonist. Title song performed by Paul McCartney's Wings. Evil drug dealer is set to hand out free samples of his merchadise much to the dismay of international law enforcement agencies. James Bond (Roger Moore's debut as 007) to rescue.

Wolves will be the first to engage

It's still pretty good. Pretty great at the very end. All the bloodshed, pagan rituals, viking raids and shenanigans are executed amazingly. However, his legacy too prominent to be forgotten, Ragnar Lodbrok (Travis Fimmel) still overshadows all the others, particularly his successors, all the teenage Northmen. And the British noblemen follow suit. Great moments and good overall quality though.

Surrender to failure

Was I tricked into believing Steven Avery wasn't guilty for murdering journalist Teresa Halbach? Albeit entertaining, this was hopelessly one-sided, hence biased, take on a somewhat simple murder case. I mean there must be lots of stuff that was left out. Dozens of courtroom professionals must have been presented some hard evidence that makes the case pretty waterproof. But naturally because this is a case of U.S. justice system, anything is possible I guess.

Invisible dance

There's no two ways about it, this is a brilliant mini series. Took my breath away really. There's the explosion of one of the nuclear reactors in the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, but how close to global destruction and nuclear winter we were at time is frightening. Story of Russian self-esteem and paranoia, but also of bona fide heroes and villains.

Garden of idiots hand in hand

As far as movies go, I don't think there's nothing as unforgiven as a lousy war movie. And I honestly think this is the worst war movie I have ever seen! The real battle of the Bulge was an enormously powerful, vicious and dirty part of World War II in heavily overcast weather conditions in Belgian winter of 1944 - 1945 (depicted extremely well for instance in Band of Brothers). These guys in Wunderland, they looked like they'd stepped in from a luxury spa, put on recently tailored uniforms and sent into the forest to act in a bizarre and comical play spewing clichés back and forth. The movie is so stupid that it hurts. Oh and there's Tom Berenger - I guess he just ran away from a retirement home, wandered into the set and someone put a helmet on him.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Rather interesting a person, the Arctic explorer Norwegian Roald Amundsen. And it's a small wonder this is the first movie based on him that I've seen. He's the guy who was the first man on South Pole, and after that, while mapping out the North Pole, he, his ship and crew were stuck in ice for few years, and eventually led the first proven expedition there in 1926. Carried a truly a competitive and adventurous soul and spirit. Died on one his missions. Or better yet, vanished, his body was never found. A cool insightful film.

We are talking about space magic

Marvel's Avengers time travel to retrieve the so called Infinity Stones before the evil destroyer of the world Thanos gets them. They hop through times and evidently it's a crazy cool adventure, but to me it's just an overlong flashy freak circus.

The sun has failed

I skipped the season # 2. I reckon I only watched an episode or two and walked away. And never returned. Maybe I was busy doing other stuff or what I saw was shit. I don't remember. A few minutes on the third season and I was immediately hooked. And in matter of days I watched it all. And then I read all the negative feedback. And that's another mystery.

Cosmic windshield wiper

An L.A. PI is hired to investigate a mental institute in the city of Galveston where he adequately grew up. But the detective Carson Philips gets more than he came for, he finds himself in a web of fraud, personal affairs, drugs and murder! Like his voice-over says 'This trip is full of surprises'. The movie tries to be clever, an authentic 70s private dick picture, but it's a really badly xeroxed copy. Pretty strong cast - John Travolta, Robert Patrick, Morgan Freeman, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen, Brendan Fraser - though.

Those who deserve a foxclove

A cashed-up couple purchase a mansion for a few million dollars from a nice old man. Turns out the former owner is still too attached to the building. In a creepy way. I kind of had great expectations of this, the films where an intruder stalks an innocent family (Cape Fear, Fatal Attraction, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, Play Misty for Me) is a great thriller genre and I thought Dennis Quaid wouldn't do a shit movie. But I was wrong.

Eve of the summertime fades to black

This dude is gay and his devout christ-fucking parents are trying to cure the lad from the terrible disease by sending him into a no-fun institute to brainwash and torture the shit out of him and other evil homosexuals within. These kind of films keep on popping up every once in a while because the world and humanity is so lazily turning into a better place. The old habits die hard. The fucking religion is too deep a scar to wash away easily.

Last kiss goodbye

With such a title - The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot - you'd expect the movie be a farce. The concept is still somewhat comedic with couple of funny shit moments, but it's still lots more serious than might believe. Calvin Barr (Sam Elliot/Aidan Turner) is a legendary - borderline mythic - soldier who assassinated Adolf Hitler and is now set to fight a nightmare plague. Rather cheap indie production, but pretty wicked nevertheless.

Who needs witches and werewolves?

A thriller stuck up too deep in its own asshole. It's influenced by the works of Alfred Hitchcock and David Lynch, quite openly so, but it's terribly lost in its own confusing bullshit. Hollywood young adult hipsters interests revolve around parties, threat of a killer of dogs and a band called Jesus and the Brides of Dracula. The movie thinks it's clever with subliminal multidimensional messages, but it's just an endless mess of unwoven threads.

The dude is on fire

Funny how you're not too much but kind of exited they made a full-lenght movie for the Breaking Bad series of 5 seasons and it's almost but not quite a match to its excellence and yet you still begin to wish there'd be a follow-up to the follow-up.

Hell on the loose

Shin Godzilla (2016). Gigantic radioactive beast Gojira aka Godzilla rises from the sea leaving a devastation in its wake. Humans bombard it with bullets, bombs and rockets, but the fucker keeps on destroying cities. I know any better, maybe the Godzilla keynote is B movie garbage, maybe it's fucking brilliant satire, who knows. The beast looked like a lifeless cardboard turkey, I had a good laugh about a minute or two.

Chained to a radiator

It's not that shit as it looks and sounds. A tearjerker, syrupy as fuck a movie, but in a good way. A couple adopts three foster children and it's pretty wild, weepy and funny the whole deal.

The one who crosses the horizon

A Baltasar Kormákur film based on a true story. A recently engaged couple sail across the Pacific, from Tahiti to San Diego. They get seriously wrecked by a storm and are adrift on the unforgiven sea torn up, wounded and barely able to function. The ship is fucked to shit as well. Seen lots better survival movies, but this one did its bit alright.

No one's indestructible

The eight James Bond film, directed by Guy Hamilton in 1971, starring Sean Connery as the agent 007, Jill St. John as the Bond Girl Tiffany Case, Bernard Lee as Bond's superior (the head of MI6), Desmond Llewelyn as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Charles Gray as Blofeld, the head of SPECTRE, as the main antagonist. Title song sung by Shirley Bassey. A shit story of terrorists stealing diamonds to build a super rocket. The last Bond movie by Sean Connery.

Towards the oblivion of dreams

An indie crime drama doused in melancholy. However, it just doesn't really know its place in the world and doesn't give anything but pointless chit-chat and hypocritical moments that beg for viewers sympathy, altho it truly is but boring drivel.

Sometimes loyalty comes at a price

The original, the Norwegian one, starring Swedish Stellan Skarsgård, In Order of Disappearance (2014), was bloody hilarious and so entertaining that naturally they had to make a Hollywood remake, with the same director, Hans Petter Moland, no less. To come to think of the story, it's perfectly tailored for Liam Neeson. An elderly guy in distress as there are harmdoers against his family and he's willing to attack a cluster of evil people by himself. Not bad as such, but rather pointless to do a remake so soon.

Dynasty of death

They've kidnapped the fucking president of Russia! With the help of Russian submarine crew, the heroes of the day are the yankees who execute a daring mission to free the leader and save the world from World War III or worse! It's like cats and dogs fighting against a common enemy and it's so cute. Gerald Butler as US submarine captain Joe Glass, Michael Nyqvist (on one his final roles before his untimely death) as Russin submarine captain Andropov and Gary Oldman taking his money before disappearing into the horizon.

Buried by time and dust

I doubt Per Yngve Ohlin (Dead) or Øystein Aarseth (Euronymous) would recognize themselves in Jonas Åkerlund's Lords of Chaos, wouldn't want to at least. They are both dead, the former by his own choosing, the latter viciously murdered by Kristian Vikernes (Count Grishnackh). All musicians. Otherwise based on a relatively short period of time in the early 90s when a musical genre 'true Norwegian Black Metal' thrived and gained world wide attention with church burnings and killings of few people. Can't really make my mind, the movie is actually better than I expected, but on the other hand, they have taken great liberties with the actual events and cut corners a lot. And due to reason or another, they made all these musicians and people in the scene look like absolute fucking retards.

Celebrate the sunshine

Like a friend of mine said Escape at Dannemora is a brilliant mini-series altho every character is despicable. Yes, they all are either vile, plain assholes or magnificently stupid. But, damn, what an incredible treat. An utter joy to watch. Benicio Del Toro, Patricia Arquette, Paul Dano, David Morse and Eric Lange with superb performances. They say it's based on a true story, of a real prison escape and people willingly or unwillingly playing a role on the events and the manhunt that followed within.

Back from the dead

Gotta compare this to the earlier Pet Sematary (1989) and not the Stephen King novel (1983) because I remember fuck all of the latter. Can't say which one is more loyal and accurate to the story and it does not really matter. The '89 piece was alright, scary and eerie at the right places, this ain't. Just a messy pick-and-mix of scary shit. Man digs up his recently passed away daughter only to re-bury her at an Indian burial ground.

Satan's holiday home

King Arthur himself chopped up a great plague witch to several pieces and buried the parts in different locations. Now they are building up the witch, literally piece by piece. To remain the greatest beast on Earth, Hellboy must stop this crazy project. The series is still entertaining, kinda funny, harmless cartoonish nonsense. David Harbour as Hellboy, Ian McShane as his father and Milla Jovovich as Nimue, the undead queen of witches.

Sieg Heil, Mutterfickers!

After Earth dying, people are co-existing with the moon nazis on the dark side of the moon. Everyone has lost their hope and their only way of escape of reality is a cultish religion Jobsist, followers of Steve Jobs. Obi Washington is the only one trying to keep the place and people from falling apart because the leader of the moon - her mother - is dying of something sinister. Obi meets the Moon Fuhrer (Udo Kier) and learns there's secret elixir at the center of the Earth that can make miracles happen. She must find the entrance to the hollow Earth in nuclear winter and onboard are her friends and foes. What lies ahead takes everyone's breath away. Another cool Iron Sky adventure.

Beware the quiet man

Christian Bale is outstanding, sensational, as Dick Cheney, the ruthless former Vice President of U.S.A. He makes everyone else - Steve Carell, Amy Adams, Sam Rockwell - look like fucking mannequins. And otherwise too, Vice is a good, fantastically woven story, at times wonderfully courageous and unorthodox film making. Proper shit.

Crawling through a river of shit

I didn't intend to watch The Shawshank Redemption. It came from the TV, I watched the first 15 minutes and, as I was tired, I contemplated of shutting it down at the first commercial break. But I didn't. It's one of those movies that grabs you for a drive and you can't let go. The greatest movie of all time, don't necessarily agree, but said everywhere, so it's gotta be true.

Life is like an empty cylinder

Patrick deWitt's The Sisters Brothers is one of the funniest western adventures I've ever read. It's possible my memory doesn't serve me right, but anyways the movie (directed by Jacques Audiard) ain't as thoroughly funny, sarcastic and wild as the novel. It kind of tries to be, at the beginning at least, but the atmosphere navigates towards more sombre vibrations. By no means, it doesn't mean it wasn't a good movie, it is, just didn't give what I came in for and, in all honesty, it doesn't quite know what it's trying to say. Bounty hunters and prospectors and the infamous western chief The Commodore (the great Rutger Hauer in one of his final roles) in search of chemical formula to find gold.

It's all neurochemistry

Even if you're dead, for few hours even, the neurological data is still accessible, so taking the biological brain and imprinting it into a synthetic one, they can replicate the human mind. You're good as new, probably host a new body, but cloned to perfection still. Sounds easy and simple. But the question is should the dead remain dead. Keanu Reeves is a scientist William Foster who violates every natural law on earth, and beyond, when his family is stricken with a terrible tragedy. The whole thing was doomed to begin with, but if you forget all the foolishness, it's pretty entertaining. Or better yet, because of the foolishness, it's entertaining. Can't tell. Does not matter.

Anger represents the enemy

Offers absolutely nothing emotionally. No entertainment. No bewilderment. No unbridled joy. No rage. No amusement. No thrills. No disappointment. It's just frivolous mumbo jumbo. Brainless Marvel crap that you watch because you have nothing better to do and you are thankful when it's finally over. You got nothing new, you learned nothing.

One man, and one man alone

This is by far the greatest movie about terrorism I've ever seen. Prophetically it was released just couple of years before 9/11, had they postponed the production it would have never seen the light of day. Damn cool thriller, borderline horror, with the intensive oppressive atmosphere embracing the story, taking paranoia to whole another level as well. And the ending is just mesmerizing in its hopelessness.

Bust into a silo and steal some corn

Wanted to see something that I had seen before and knew wasn't going to disappoint. Kind of a satisfaction guaranteed deal. Nebraska. Upfront family Grant's trip from Montana to Nebraska to claim a million-dollar Mega Sweepstakes Marketing prize. A beautiful and fun and outstandingly well written film.