Whose funeral is this?

The 9th James Bond film, directed by Guy Hamilton in 1973, starring Roger Moore as the agent 007, Jane Seymour as the Bond girl Solitaire, Bernard Lee as Bond's superior (the head of MI6), no-one as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Yaphet Kotto as Kananga/Mr. Big, the producer of heroin, as the main antagonist. Title song performed by Paul McCartney's Wings. Evil drug dealer is set to hand out free samples of his merchadise much to the dismay of international law enforcement agencies. James Bond (Roger Moore's debut as 007) to rescue.

Wolves will be the first to engage

It's still pretty good. Pretty great at the very end. All the bloodshed, pagan rituals, viking raids and shenanigans are executed amazingly. However, his legacy too prominent to be forgotten, Ragnar Lodbrok (Travis Fimmel) still overshadows all the others, particularly his successors, all the teenage Northmen. And the British noblemen follow suit. Great moments and good overall quality though.

Surrender to failure

Was I tricked into believing Steven Avery wasn't guilty for murdering journalist Teresa Halbach? Albeit entertaining, this was hopelessly one-sided, hence biased, take on a somewhat simple murder case. I mean there must be lots of stuff that was left out. Dozens of courtroom professionals must have been presented some hard evidence that makes the case pretty waterproof. But naturally because this is a case of U.S. justice system, anything is possible I guess.

Invisible dance

There's no two ways about it, this is a brilliant mini series. Took my breath away really. There's the explosion of one of the nuclear reactors in the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, but how close to global destruction and nuclear winter we were at time is frightening. Story of Russian self-esteem and paranoia, but also of bona fide heroes and villains.

Garden of idiots hand in hand

As far as movies go, I don't think there's nothing as unforgiven as a lousy war movie. And I honestly think this is the worst war movie I have ever seen! The real battle of the Bulge was an enormously powerful, vicious and dirty part of World War II in heavily overcast weather conditions in Belgian winter of 1944 - 1945 (depicted extremely well for instance in Band of Brothers). These guys in Wunderland, they looked like they'd stepped in from a luxury spa, put on recently tailored uniforms and sent into the forest to act in a bizarre and comical play spewing clichés back and forth. The movie is so stupid that it hurts. Oh and there's Tom Berenger - I guess he just ran away from a retirement home, wandered into the set and someone put a helmet on him.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Rather interesting a person, the Arctic explorer Norwegian Roald Amundsen. And it's a small wonder this is the first movie based on him that I've seen. He's the guy who was the first man on South Pole, and after that, while mapping out the North Pole, he, his ship and crew were stuck in ice for few years, and eventually led the first proven expedition there in 1926. Carried a truly a competitive and adventurous soul and spirit. Died on one his missions. Or better yet, vanished, his body was never found. A cool insightful film.

We are talking about space magic

Marvel's Avengers time travel to retrieve the so called Infinity Stones before the evil destroyer of the world Thanos gets them. They hop through times and evidently it's a crazy cool adventure, but to me it's just an overlong flashy freak circus.

The sun has failed

I skipped the season # 2. I reckon I only watched an episode or two and walked away. And never returned. Maybe I was busy doing other stuff or what I saw was shit. I don't remember. A few minutes on the third season and I was immediately hooked. And in matter of days I watched it all. And then I read all the negative feedback. And that's another mystery.

Cosmic windshield wiper

An L.A. PI is hired to investigate a mental institute in the city of Galveston where he adequately grew up. But the detective Carson Philips gets more than he came for, he finds himself in a web of fraud, personal affairs, drugs and murder! Like his voice-over says 'This trip is full of surprises'. The movie tries to be clever, an authentic 70s private dick picture, but it's a really badly xeroxed copy. Pretty strong cast - John Travolta, Robert Patrick, Morgan Freeman, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen, Brendan Fraser - though.

Those who deserve a foxclove

A cashed-up couple purchase a mansion for a few million dollars from a nice old man. Turns out the former owner is still too attached to the building. In a creepy way. I kind of had great expectations of this, the films where an intruder stalks an innocent family (Cape Fear, Fatal Attraction, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, Play Misty for Me) is a great thriller genre and I thought Dennis Quaid wouldn't do a shit movie. But I was wrong.

Eve of the summertime fades to black

This dude is gay and his devout christ-fucking parents are trying to cure the lad from the terrible disease by sending him into a no-fun institute to brainwash and torture the shit out of him and other evil homosexuals within. These kind of films keep on popping up every once in a while because the world and humanity is so lazily turning into a better place. The old habits die hard. The fucking religion is too deep a scar to wash away easily.

Last kiss goodbye

With such a title - The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot - you'd expect the movie be a farce. The concept is still somewhat comedic with couple of funny shit moments, but it's still lots more serious than might believe. Calvin Barr (Sam Elliot/Aidan Turner) is a legendary - borderline mythic - soldier who assassinated Adolf Hitler and is now set to fight a nightmare plague. Rather cheap indie production, but pretty wicked nevertheless.

Who needs witches and werewolves?

A thriller stuck up too deep in its own asshole. It's influenced by the works of Alfred Hitchcock and David Lynch, quite openly so, but it's terribly lost in its own confusing bullshit. Hollywood young adult hipsters interests revolve around parties, threat of a killer of dogs and a band called Jesus and the Brides of Dracula. The movie thinks it's clever with subliminal multidimensional messages, but it's just an endless mess of unwoven threads.

The dude is on fire

Funny how you're not too much but kind of exited they made a full-lenght movie for the Breaking Bad series of 5 seasons and it's almost but not quite a match to its excellence and yet you still begin to wish there'd be a follow-up to the follow-up.

Hell on the loose

Shin Godzilla (2016). Gigantic radioactive beast Gojira aka Godzilla rises from the sea leaving a devastation in its wake. Humans bombard it with bullets, bombs and rockets, but the fucker keeps on destroying cities. I know any better, maybe the Godzilla keynote is B movie garbage, maybe it's fucking brilliant satire, who knows. The beast looked like a lifeless cardboard turkey, I had a good laugh about a minute or two.

Chained to a radiator

It's not that shit as it looks and sounds. A tearjerker, syrupy as fuck a movie, but in a good way. A couple adopts three foster children and it's pretty wild, weepy and funny the whole deal.

The one who crosses the horizon

A Baltasar Kormákur film based on a true story. A recently engaged couple sail across the Pacific, from Tahiti to San Diego. They get seriously wrecked by a storm and are adrift on the unforgiven sea torn up, wounded and barely able to function. The ship is fucked to shit as well. Seen lots better survival movies, but this one did its bit alright.

No one's indestructible

The eight James Bond film, directed by Guy Hamilton in 1971, starring Sean Connery as the agent 007, Jill St. John as the Bond Girl Tiffany Case, Bernard Lee as Bond's superior (the head of MI6), Desmond Llewelyn as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Charles Gray as Blofeld, the head of SPECTRE, as the main antagonist. Title song sung by Shirley Bassey. A shit story of terrorists stealing diamonds to build a super rocket. The last Bond movie by Sean Connery.

Towards the oblivion of dreams

An indie crime drama doused in melancholy. However, it just doesn't really know its place in the world and doesn't give anything but pointless chit-chat and hypocritical moments that beg for viewers sympathy, altho it truly is but boring drivel.

Sometimes loyalty comes at a price

The original, the Norwegian one, starring Swedish Stellan Skarsgård, In Order of Disappearance (2014), was bloody hilarious and so entertaining that naturally they had to make a Hollywood remake, with the same director, Hans Petter Moland, no less. To come to think of the story, it's perfectly tailored for Liam Neeson. An elderly guy in distress as there are harmdoers against his family and he's willing to attack a cluster of evil people by himself. Not bad as such, but rather pointless to do a remake so soon.