Cross of thorns on headless cross

Godzilla and Kong meet and battle it out. Unfortunately their epic encounter is suffocated under mindless techno humbug and an uninspiring plot. Starring them two monsters, Alexander Skarsgård, Millie Bobby Brown and Rebecca Hall.

A kite dancing in a hurricane

A 2015 James Bond movie directed by Sam Mendes, starring Daniel Craig as the agent 007, Ralph Fiennes as Bond's superior M (the head of M16), Ben Whishaw as Q (the head of Department Q) and Christoph Walz as the main antagonist Blofeld. Theme song Writing on the Wall performed by Sam Smith. James Bond ventures towards the heart of S.P.E.C.T.R.E., a cryptic criminal organization, and the mission is an adventure loaded with bullets and explosions.

Cavemen refusing to go away

Reckon everyone's said the same thing. The Expendables gag has run its course. Numbers 2 and 3 were useless already, but the 4th one is borderline watchable, almost a parody to the franchise. Just a terribly bad action movie.

Better drag. More flavor. Less throat burn.

It's like a tribute to the final moments of Hollywood's golden age. The summer of 1969, an aging television actor Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his stunt double Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) endeavor to revive their careers. Among bunch of other colorful characters, they encounter the murderous hippies lead by Charles Manson. Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood, by Quentin Tarantino, comes with a large ensemble cast (DeCaprio, Pitt, Al Pacino, Margot Robbie, Emile Hirsch, Timothy Olyphant, Luke Perry, Bruce Dern, Damian Lewis) and it's a wicked groovy ride.

Just a bloody stump

In Bermuda, two amateur treasure-hunting divers inadvertently discover the secret cargo of a World War II shipwreck and conflict with treasure hunters. Not one of the greatest classic seventies films, but surprisingly entertaining and exciting still. Starring Nick Nolte, Jacqueline Bisset, Robert Shaw and Eli Wallach, written by Peter Benchley (Jaws), directed by Peter Yates (Bullitt).

While we are here

Childhood sweethearts in Seoul go separate ways until 20 years later they meet again in New York. It's a simple and touching look on two longing spirits. Story telling stripped to bare essentials. A refreshing little thing.

All that sacrifice

Arthur Fleck's mental state ain't quite alright. Thence his stand-up comedy career hasn't really took off. Little by little he crumbles under the pressure of society that itself is pretty off-putting to begin with. Surprisingly a guy - Todd Phillips - who has made only shitty comedies (The Hangover, Due Date, Old School) in his career, produces one of the most haunting masterpieces of modern day cinema.

Living in twilight dance

Everyone in a Japanese bathhouse is stuck in a time loop where after two minutes, time rewinds and everyone returns to where they were, though their memories continue. It's awkward at first, quite funny the next, but eventually annoying as fuck and people are losing their nerves in this monotonous limbo. If they can't find a way to end to it, they have to find a way to live with it. A quirky and fun little science fiction indie.

Busy making funeral arrangements

Can't believe how quickly the movie ridiculed itself. Had the makings of an intense revenge flick, but in a blink of an eye it blew out of proportions. Too excessive even for a Jason Statham movie. Full of goofs, factual errors and plot holes.

People kill for whole lot of reasons

A retired cop Ray has an Alzheimer's disease. He's contacted by a prisoner on a death row claiming to be innocent. To keep his mind active Ray starts investigating the case once again. A confusing murder mystery begins, drags along pretty boring and the end twist is nowhere as clever as it thinks it is.

Nothing but blackness below

Let's face it. It's just crap. A few has-beens (John Travolta, Kevin Dillon and Stephen Dorff) and a poorly written script in an endlessly tedious story. A generic thriller with absolutely nothing to offer.

The function of life is survival

To pay tribute to Donald Sutherland (1935-2024) and his career. Strange alien seeds drift to earth, take the form of small seed pods, grow perfectly evil and start replicating San Francisco's residents one by one. Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a 1978 horror film directed by Philip Kaufman, based on the 1955 novel The Body Snatcher by Jack Finney. The novel was previously adapted into the 1956 film by Don Siegel. One of the greatest alien invasion movies, a haunting cult classic.

To live with the lie

Accidentally or not, a Russian missile, possibly armed with a nuclear warhead, is shot into Finland's airspace and is lost somewhere in Lapland. An eager journalist is ambitious finding the truth of the case, but seems no one really pays any attention except for the government's serious-looking people in suits and uniforms. Probably the biggest surprise of the year, a truly funny Finnish comedy that turns into a serious and melancholy bit midway the movie, penned to perfection, great soundtrack and the cast is crafted of the country's finest such as Oona Airola, Hannu-Pekka Björkman, Tommi Korpela, Sakari Kuosmanen, Kari Väänänen, Kai Lehtinen and Ona Kamu. Written and directed by Miia Tervo.

Breathing fire on the grave

A stray bullet kills the kid. The dad is shot in the throat, losing his ability to speak. He wallows in misery and drowns his sorrow in booze until he finally realizes he's seen Death Sentence and all the John Wick movies. A revengeful action must be executed at all costs. Within a few months of self-training he's a bad-ass killing machine and the people responsible for the death of his son are soon to be dead. Silent Night is John Woo's misfire.

Longing like a fucking veil

A gifted young collage student and her teacher have so much in common that there's a danger their relationship might turn inappropriate. It's a clichéd fairytale, a shallow romantic attempt without a proper story to speak of, or ending for that matter. The leads stars Martin Freeman and Jenna Ortega are pretty good though.

Very much worth the sacrifice

The Höss family has it covered. A beautiful home with even more a beautiful garden. A swimming pool at the yard for children. Rudolf, the father, has a job right next door and while he's at work the wife keeps the house nice and clean. They enjoy life while the every second of the day, just a wall away, the concentration camp Auschwitz murders jews by the millions. The stench of death of victims exterminated by gassing and burning, the gunshots and the noise of trains bringing more people to slaughter are just a little nuisance to the Höss folks. The Zone of Interest is bizarre and inconvenient cinema at its finest.

The call of malignant gaze

Two girls disappear into the woods and they come back bewitched. The Exorcist: Believer comes with Ellen Burstyn and Linda Blair, from William Friedkin's Exorcist (1973). They are in the side roles only, and everything else is an insult to the original.

The sky is falling on our heads

They have a great cast here. A strong European and Asian line-up of Guillame Ganet, Gilles Lellouche, Vincent Cassel, Marion Cotillard, Linh-Dan Phan, Bun-hay Mean and even Zlatan Ibrahimovich. But it's a kids adventure movie with infantile jokes, not a wild and crazy cartoon, so doesn't really leave a lasting remark.

Nervous is good

Sisters Drew and May are deep-sea divers. An unfortunate accident happens and May gets stuck under a boulder by her feet. She's got mere minutes oxygen left, so Drew has to be extra resourceful - and fast - to save her sister from impending death. The Dive, by Maximilian Erlenwein, is decent but comes with a hopelessly predictable survival movie script.

Cosmic black magic rituals

A scientist, presumed dead, has a secret laboratory in the middle of a forest far away from any civilization where he seems to be opening the gates of hell! The Breach is a sympathetic little scifi horror indie. It lacks logic and leaves unexplained bits behind, but that's alright.

The furthest shore

Liam Neeson’s towering presence feels right at home where else but in a film set in 1970s volatile Ireland and the rest of the cast, particularly Jack Gleeson and Cierán Hinds, are downright fantastic as well. The movie itself started out really great too, like a brooding western, but somehow and somewhere along the line it just turned quite stupid.

Orphans always make the best recruits

A 2012 James Bond movie directed by Sam Mendes, starring Daniel Craig as the agent 007, Judi Dench as Bond's superior M (the head of M16), Ben Whishaw as Q (the head of Department Q) and Javier Bardem as the main antagonist Silva. Theme song Skyfall performed by Adele. Shit hits the fan big time, agents around the world are exposed, MI6 is attacked forcing M to relocate with James Bond as her only trusted ally.

Bad people do bad things

Aussie teenager Amy believes her next door neighbor is a notorious serial killer called The Clockwork Killer. Of course, no one believes her. Especially her mom who dates the fucking guy! Amy is obsessed proving she's right. Girl at the Windows's excitement stops there because the script goes absolutely haywire the rest of the movie.

Flying together into the forever

On the brink of superhero movies running their time out, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3, by James Gunn, proves there’s some hope left. The stars are a group of well-created misfits doing their best to save the universe from space tyrants trying to take control of everything. It’s fun, exciting and wholly adventurous.

Eternity in the making

In a year when all sports came to a standstill, Liverpool FC finally saw their team lift the Premier League trophy that had eluded them for 30 years. The End of the Storm celebrates one of sport's most historic triumphs and the team lead by one of the most iconic sport characters, a true special one Jürgen Klopp. His time in the club is something the fans, me included, reminiscence with utmost pride and pleasure.

Couldn't get laid in a morgue

An '85 comedy by John Hughes. The laughs are a little outdated as we speak and it hasn't really stood the test of time otherwise either, but it was kind of entertaining back then. Two college teenagers build a woman of their dreams by computer and the product, named Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), makes the small town crazy.

A sticking plaster for life's weirdos

Donny Dunn, an aspiring stand-up comedian, works in a pub in London. One day he offers a cup of tea to Martha, a customer. She, a psychopath by trade, becomes a pain in the ass, stalking poor Donny and harassing him online. Stars aren't aligned for him. Years earlier, he ended up in drug-induced relationship with a TV writer who sexually molested him. Baby Reindeer is so weird and disturbing that it can't be but a true story, no one can make this shit up. The most outspoken self-portrait on screen.

The summer funeral

Keke Soikkeli's Tuomion Saari should be shown at every film school for educational purposes, so the future film makers would learn what to avoid at their projects. This Finnish "horror" movie is beyond shit.

The sea gives and the sea takes

I had to swallow Avatar: the Way of the Water (by James Cameron) in small appropriate doses, in max 60 minutes bites. Otherwise I couldn't have made it. Not only it's long (192 minutes), but the animated characters have so little to give. Them lifeless buggers are endlessly boring. Thankfully, the movie looks nice, like a standard contemporary video game, just too bad you are left out playing it and marvel someone else's handiwork instead.

New gallows, new rope

Jeff Webster drives a cattle herd. From Wyoming to Seattle, and through the mountains to Dawson. And in the wake of the Klondike Gold Rush, proceeds into a new adventure while locking horns with a crooked lawman. The Far Country is a decent 1954 western directed by Anthony Mann and starring James Stewart.

Work hard and play hard

Seems like David Beckham is a genuinely nice bloke. You certainly don't have to appreciate the football teams he's played with, but he's alright, the lad. Humble even. He however was the biggest football star of his time.

Make a copy of a copy of a copy

The general stupidity of the characters is something else, but that’s how it goes oftentimes. Barbarian started out great, it was exciting and could have paved way for an excellent horror film. But they ran out of everything, ideas in particular.

Very harsh and unpleasant kind of business

The grandson of a famous gunslinger and cattle thief Jacob McCandles aka. Big Jake has been kidnapped for a ransom of $1 million dollars, so he sets out to rescue the boy. Decent western although its comic moments are shit.

More relaxed, poised, musical and open

According to a theory, by Norwegian psychiatrist, psychotherapist, author and professor Finn Skårderud, a man is born with too little alcohol in the blood (0.05% in fact). Four Danish teachers are encouraged by the study so much that they try it out, consume alcohol until they reach and maintain the appropriate level of inebriation, and the results seem positive. Teaching that once was boring seems so cool and innovative now. But the project can also have consequences. Thomas Vinterberg’s Another Round is genuinely funny, beautiful and heart-warming masterpiece.

No one appreciates subtlety

Eli Roth's Thanksgiving has innovative (and quite funny) ways of death and dying, but otherwise is meaningless and clichéd crap. A stupid slasher movie that tried to be something like Scream and Halloween combined, but lacks everything from character development to actual suspense and thrills.

Road to truth has many turns

A German terrorist Simon (Jeremy Irons) is in New York City and he plans to rob the Federal Reserve Building. John McClane (Bruce Willis) and a Harlem store owner Zeus (Samuel L. Jackson) race all over the city trying to figure out the puzzles that the terrorist gives them. John McTiernan's Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) could just well be the best piece of the Die Hard franchise.

Asking a revived corpse five questions

Some of these fantasy movies just have to be given a chance sometimes, it may pay off. Like Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, by John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, absolutely zero expectations, but the adventure of a thief and a band of other daredevils is a goddamned wicked and fun ride!

Judged by the strength of enemies

A James Bond movie directed by Marc Forster in 2008, starring Daniel Craig as the agent 007, Gemma Arterton as the Bond girl Strawberry Fields, Judi Dench as Bond's superior 'M" (the head of M16) and Mathieu Amalric as the main antagonist Dominic Greene. Theme song Another Way to Die performed by Jack White and Alicia Keys. Yet another confusing spy humbug (sequel to Casino Royale) where James Bond ends up making things straight in Bolivia.

Just a desire to live one more day

Helena was born in the woods, raised by her kidnapped mother and the mother’s kidnapper. After exposing to the outside world, adaptation to the modern world takes its toll and the past comes to haunt her. Shame how after a decent start Marsh Kings Daughter turned into a generic thriller.

A place of conspicuous display

Former hardcore neo-Nazi and a murderer is in a witness protection working as a gardener for a renowned orchard. He’s found joy from flowers but fucks up his gig over a girl. It’s all fine and interesting for so long. When it tries to be a thriller, Master Gardener reconstructs itself useless.

When I was born they screamed

Peter's parents aren't what they seem, they've a sinister secret no-one knows about. Cobweb is not a desperately bad a horror flick, but senselessly confusing shit on the same token. Good scares and spooky vibes, creepy little fucker, but eventually ruined by a bad, awkwardly rushed, ending.

Don't let your tragedy define you

Barry Allen aka The Flash is such a fast Superhero that he can run back in time! But, according to the laws of the good old butterfly effect, changing even a minuscule detail in the past can have disastrous consequences in the future. It can break the universe as we know it. The Flash, the movie directed by Andy Muschietti, sometimes hits the mark, oftentimes not

Surgery is the new sex

We've passed the point where David Cronenberg's body horror no longer is found disgusting. Or entertaining for that matter. Crimes of the Future is about humankind trying to adapt to its synthetic surroundings and thence is in a constant state of metamorphosis. The shit is not morbid and discomforting, it's just dull and pointless.

That was death and it is coming

It seems to be a great horror story. Hopefully they find a way to end it properly. Reminiscences of Lost (2004-2010). It takes its time to get where it's going and you are still puzzled as every answer you get leads to more questions. There's a town somewhere that traps those who enter and they are plagued by vile nocturnal creatures. Everything is wrapped in puzzles and secrets. Season # 1 is a proper nightmarish mystery.

Once it's dark, it can't get any darker

Onibaba is a 1964 Japanese horror film by Kaneto Shindô. However, by today’s standards never in a million years it would be tagged as a horror flick. Not that it wasn’t creepy and atmospheric enough. Set in somewhere in Kyoto region, in the mid-fourteenth century. Midst a civil war, a woman and her daughter-in-law ambush soldiers in a field of tall reeds, kill them, loot them, drop their bodies in a pit hidden in the field and trade their armor and weapons the next day. After a while, jealousy and sexual tension cut between the ladies’ perfectly sinister business venture. Call it horror or not, Onibaba is a striking feature of cinematic poetry.

Hit and run one more time

Written and directed by Dolph Lundgren. It's kind of cringeworthy all the time and the dialogue is, if not the worst, the most clichéd witnessed the whole year. But still, Wanted Man is quite fun to watch, something's done right.

It's always darkest before the dawn

A boy develops a taste for human blood, but luckily her mom is a nurse who can snatch a few bags of plasma from work. But not for too long. They need an alternate source. And motherly love calls for desperate measures. Pointless and boring horror drivel.

Evil goes away

Almost uncomfortable to watch. A kindergarten teacher is wrongly accused of exposing himself. And in this day and age, an innocent little lie can trigger a witch hunt and ruin someone’s life completely. A brilliant movie (courtesy of Thomas Vinterberg) propelled by dazzling performances of Mads Mikkelsen and Thomas Bo Larsen.

There is no way to say goodbye

I guess even the film makers got so bored with this movie that they happily walked out of the project after 70 minutes. It was going nowhere and it wasn't getting any better, so why not just end it. A lukewarm buddy comedy at best.

They listen to toilet bowls these days

Four Finnish men, and a pig, celebrate Christmas in the middle of a summer. It includes male nudity, stiff drinks and an innovative makeshift sauna. Nothing can go wrong. Directed by Jari Halonen, starring Jorma Tommila, Oiva Lohtander, Rauno Juvonen, Antti Reini and Pötsi (the pig).