Every inch is stained with someone's sin

Maybe not as brilliant as I remembered, but it's still the best thing Oliver Stone has directed thus far. An exceptionally wicked story of a man stuck in a small American town. Young Claire Danes and hilarious Joaquin Phoenix just starting their careers. And the heavyweights Jon Voight, Bo Hoskins, Sean Penn, Nick Nolte, Powers Boothe and Billy Bob Thornton having the time of their lives. Music by Ennio Morricone to boot.

We all speak Russian in hell too

Lucas Hill is an American diamond dealer stuck in the St. Petersburg area where there are two kinds of people, those who operate on vodka and those who are criminals. Lucas amazingly meets a nice coffee shop owner and instanly falls in love with her. It also stops the story of going anywhere. One of the worst this year.

Before the snake descended

A few years ago I read a long praising article or review of Embrace of the Serpent in some movie magazine (probably either Total Film or Empire) and ever since wanted to see it. But unfortunately never got around to see it. Had to purchase it abroad. As always, something you wait so eagerly doesn't quite meet up the expectations. However it's still worth the wait and effort. Set in two time periods in the jungles by the river Amazon. Western civilization exploits the old sacred indian medicine, wisdom and magic. Still, it's a beautiful film.

Surviving ain't a crime

Originally from Gambia, Mou is a paperless refugee living in Barcelona collecting scrap metal for living. Like all the refugees, he has a dream of better life, he'd happily work in a restaurant or become a professional singer, but can't become one unless he gets freedom and the papers. He has a good - albeit troubled - soul, does Mou, although blaming everyone else for his misery but himself ain't the right way.

Seahorses pair for life

Some people want to live ostracized from society. Father and daughter, Will and Tom, are like those people. The dad's a lost cause, but the daughter however have some social skills left. How to remain independent, but still escape the slavery and obsessions the modern world instutes? How to escape forcefed religion? Sometimes people are better-off in the woods. In all this turmoil, how Will and Tom can keep their family going? An enganging, reticent, beautiful yet tad melancholic little low budget film.

Pleasure is the antidote of death

A perfectly detailed espionage thriller mini series. Courtesy of John le Carré. Israeli agents recruit a British actress to infiltrate her into a terrorist cell which hobbies include killing jews all over Europe. To be honest, the series never really took off, lots of frustrating rambling, particularly on the tepid relationship between the actress and a Mossad agent. Even the finale was boring as shit.

The call of the cowards

It's more or less the same story. Lord of Loxley, Robin Hood, becomes a thief. His new buddy - Maori Yahya aka. John - teaches him to become master of his craft. Series of robberies begin and the sheriff of Sherwood ain't too happy. The old story hasn't looked so plastic and tasteless ever before. They are spewing ridiculous one-liners back and forth, too much too soon for the actor Taron Egerton, Robin Hood himself is an annoying little brat and the haircuts, make-ups and clothes of these medieval people are ripped right out of the latest fashion magazine. Just plain stupid.

The king is risen

The biggest problem with these popular superhero movies is that they aren't Rated R. I truly wish they'd forget box office numbers and produce serious hardcore superhero movies where people die on bullet impact, they bleed, curse and unleash hell. This lullaby - for fuck's sake - is K-12, so it's both harmless and childish. Story of the rift between the kingdoms of Atlantis and it's one endlessly boring fight.

Never blow out the eastern candle

An old art dealer on the brink of bankruptcy discovers an unknown painting he suspects is the work by the great Russian painter Ilja Repin. The only problem is to prove it and to purchase the unknown yet valued piece. The director Klaus Härö's character-based sentimental films portray a natural and classic touch, thus have a lasting effect.

One terrible day God answered

It's like a mishmash of Stephen King stories. A small town in Maine, where else, is stricken with suicides and mass murders, people are stuck in nightmares and it seems like the great Satan himself walks upon its grounds. It's a whole lot of weight for one town - and for one show. And even if it's captivating and mesmerizingly beautiful horror at times, the season 1 of Castle Rock is too puzzled. It's quite impossible to focus on the core of the story because there hardly is any.

The black sun rises

Juice Leskinen (1950-2006) was one of the most famous singer-songwriters in Finland of his time. A genious lyricist who left a lasting remark on Finnish musical folklore. On many ways he was a mirror to a Finnish soul, a quiet humble man who drank like the next one. And the fame and moderate fortune only increased his addictions. Despite Juice's untimely death, he had a strong and productive career, therefore it would have deserved a little more in-depth approach and his aplenty classic songs the coverage they'd quite rightly deserve. The spirit of the age was executed nicely though.

She's like a beautiful ghost

Unbeknownst the reasons, I dragged this DVD at home with me. Yet anyways I'd never imagine I'd watch it, but I did. It's shit for brains. Emily goes missing and her friend, vlogger Stephanie, who is not really her friend, suspiciously appears to be taking her place as a mother and lover. Artificial thrills, superficial laughs, clichéd waste of time.

Kill a hipster, save your hood

They dug out kind of an amusing way of telling of the thug life of Oakland, California. Closing in on the last day of his parole, Collin is trying to take it as easy as possible with his friend and co-worker in a moving company, a white dude Miles. Life is in nice cosmic rhythm, Collin is trying to get used to a new way of healthy living and things are excited because he has a crush on a nice girl as well. But a little glitch in pulse, one smallest of misdemeanours, may have terrible consequences and it would be prison time for good. Decent drama of street injustice.

Catch the tuna

Baker Dill is a fisherman who has his own Moby Dick haunting him; a massive tuna that constantly escapes his hooks and skills of fishing. His business as a fishing guide for tourists is quickly going down the drain because his obsession of catching the monster tuna is getting in the way of paying customers. One pretty lucrative - and personal - deal could solve all his problems. It's his biggest game yet. I didn't spoil myself ahead of this thriller, but felt early that something fishy is up, but it still caught me by a big surprise. Clever and enjoyable little fucker, despite of the low ratings I've seen everywhere.

Sometimes it's better to choose your own family

Winner of Palme d'Or. A story of a deprived Japanese family living the ghetto who steal food and basic household items to stay alive. With an extra mouth to feed, a new member - a kidnapped lassie - in the family doesn't really help the situation, but her presence brings joy to the whole lot. Pretty alright, but the greatest thing is that the movie shows Japan and its culture and people the way it's hardly ever seen before. High technology, the strict business culture, busy streets of Tokyo, the glitter of J-pop, and so on, are rather gruelly replaced by unemployment, poverty and grey everydayness.

Wind of the red moon

Former florist, 90-year old Earl Stone, is a different kind of drug mule. Unlike his Mexican cartel partners who are all hyped up and ready to explode any minute, Earl opts to enjoy life and he's astonishingly relaxed even during the gigs. Despite involving an essentially violent and grim subject, it's dealt with such a perfect subtle light-hearted touch that I don't imagine not many other than Clint Eastwood could have pulled it off. One of his best films from the past couple of decades, close to a masterpiece really.

Dreams of war, dreams of liars

Based on the 2000 K-141 Kursk submarine disaster, in which 118 Russian sailors died. I feel a little unase watching filmings of events where you know the tragic outcome. It's too near in the past, you remember how it happened and unfolded. The other recent deadly tragedies such as 9/11, The Indian Ocean tsunami, Gulf War, and what have you, beneath the chaos, there was also slivers of uplifting, heroic moments, but Kursk has none, it's a hopeless abyss.

Dead on the shitter

These mindless action movies that are hysterically full of plotholes are kind of fun to watch. Terrorists plant football team West Ham's home stadium full of explosives and if their wishes aren't met, intend to blew it to kingdom come. So ridiculous at attempting to do thrilling action that it's borderline comedy.

Mellow in the darkness

A true story. A bunch of alcoholics in the 70s and one of them is a wheelchair-bound John Callahan (Joaquin Phoenix). Callahan's quadriplegia, his struggle for sobriety and finding his biological mother is somewhat heavy and saddening, but, in the end, him becoming a reknowed cartoonist makes this an easy-going heartfelt movie. And Joaquim Phoenix, once again, proves his talent.

The hour of the wolf

A neglected and abused girl has no other option than to escape deep in the woods and become an axe-wielding vampire cannibal. She lives in a place called Devils Den where no one dares to go because, naturally, no one really wants to get eaten. The girl gets a little lonely just drawing pictures and killing people in the woods, so it's a blessing when she meets another abused teenager. Pretty weak slasher horror.

Death by torture

David Fincher has done some of the finest serial killers movies (namely Se7en and Zodiac) and now he has created a remarkable serial killer TV series that is a smart, entertaining and intriguing masterpiece. At least season #1 is out there with the very best.

Allergic to social norms and elegant niceties

Not wholly succumbed to the genre, but Anthony Jeselnik is the most entertaining (and vulgar) stand-up comedian I've seen in recent years. This is only the second one I've seen of his shows, not on the standard as the first one (Thoughts and Prayers), but murderously funny.

A delusion is lies that tell truth

Witches have a ballet academy in Berlin in 1977 and if you don't dance for their wishes you are in deep supernatural trouble. A remake of Dario Argento's horror classic and it quite well could be from the seventies itself. It's haunting, good fucking horror, impressive satanic witchcraft and ceremonies where evil prevails. But like everyone seems to be saying, the movie is too long (two and half hours), so inevitably it bores and ultimately disappoints you.

From the earth of frost and cold

Aarne and Veikko are returning home from war between Finland and Russia. They are ambushed by the Russian soldiers, Aarne dies and Veikko escapes. Back in Finland, Veikko falls in love with Aarne's sister and together they start a new live in a settlement farm in northern Karelia. It's a trademark Markku Pölönen film, Finnish scenery and country romance as the driving force and decent - albeit sappy - enough a story.

A leap of faith

Peter Parker a.k.a. Spider-Man is dead, but due to a clitch at the gates between dimensions, all of a sudden all the other Spider-Mans from parallel dimensions gather up to defeat their common enemy Kingpin. All the other Spider-Mans, including Spider-Ham, Peni Parker and Spider-Man Noir, aren't quite what we are used to, they are older, fattier and originating from different species and everything. Nevertheless, they are all fucken cool. Into the Spider-Verse is quite something, an entertaining extravaganza.

Crying in the storm

I don't know, but apparently somewhere in the near future people are criss-crossing between different galaxies in derelict spacecrafts with bottomless ease. If it ever came to be, thousands of space researchers would walk out of this movie during the first 10 minutes, unless they came for a laugh. A girl gets stuck in a suspiciously earthlike planet with a thief and a murderer. In order to survive and collect earnings from the lucrative soil, they have to co-operate. Sci-fi movies are not my forte, but this had a nice low budget feel to it, even though just didn't care what the fuck was going on.

South of reality

You sometimes read of these people. Con-artists who pretend they are working, but in truth lie their way out of reality, are unemployed and do shit like steal food from restaurants. Pekka Malmikunnas (Hannu-Pekka Björkman), who lives on a construction site, is a that kind of fraudster, but keeping a good lie going becomes more difficult when he - through unfortunate accident - inevitably gets closer to his family. Decent drama comedy, inspired by Kari Hotakainen's novel.

Courage is the solution to despair

Reverend Toller (Ethan Hawke) runs a derelict church that is about to celebrate its 250th anniversary. For a Christian priest, Toller seems like a man of reason as he understands science and the dangers of environmental change. He's not lost his faith, but he's a common man, drinks too much and ignores his health. Apart from the fact that quite early on you realize where the story is going (even though the ending is open for interpration), First Reformed is a solid provocative drama. Written and directed by Paul Schrader (the writer of Taxi Driver).

Infinite gate opening

Horrible nazis - while occupying France in WWII - use local residents as their laboratory rats. They are testing a new chemical formula to create super-soldiers because 'A thousand year Reich needs thousand year soldiers.' Allied forces must stop this madness. Really enjoyable nazisploitation, a bit campy, but entertaining.

Better than Sinatra

Nothing wrong with it, but it's overrated as fuck. I probably am the only one on the earth that didn't get the chemistry between Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. And the songs are shit. Otherwise, it's a watchable thing. They do well, the actors, and the story - albeit too quickly - developes from rags to riches and from fame to humiliation pretty smoothly. And I was a little surpised to see Andrew Dice Clay still doing motion pictures and that's fucking great.

Losers of future tyrants

This techno thriller tries too much. It desperately tries be smarter, flashier, darker and sexier than all the rest, particularly its predecessors; the Swedish Millennium miniseries and David Fincher´s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo film. Unfortunately this shit gets tangled in its own web and makes, for instance, the already average actors look plastic. Also, it's the most loopholed movie I have seen all year.

Draconian menu

With 18 Michelin stars, Alain Ducasse undisputedly is the most celebrated chef in the world, the king of gastronomy. The documentary follows him for 2 years, we see him completing his latest restaurant in Versailles (Ore - Ducasse au château de Versailles) and we are with him as he takes culinary trips all over the world. Cooking is his infinite universe, he´s so devoted to food that his obsession inevitably sticks with you and you admire his artistry.

Squash 'em down

Quite a cool low-key indie crime thingy directed by actor Macon Blair who himself has starred in similar movies such as Blue Ruin and Green Room. A woman is burglarized and while investigating the case herself she teams up with a neighbor metalhead. Even if it's supposed to be a sort of dark comedy, it turns pretty gory in the end.

Bird never make nest in bare tree

The sixth James Bond film, directed by Lewis Gilbert in 1967, starring Sean Connery as the agent 007, Akiko Wakabayashi and Mie Hama as the Bond girls Aki and Kissy Suzuki, Bernard Lee as Bond's superior (the head of MI6), Desmond Llewelyn as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Donald Pleasance as Blofeld, the head of SPECTRE, as the main antagonist. Title song sung by Nancy Sinatra. They frame 007's death, so he can discreetly investigate the case involving kidnapped spacecrafts. James Bond is back in proper action after the Casino Royale catastrophe.

For the love of shit

I reckon this was done under the watchful eyes of the remaining Queen members, so Bohemian Rhapsody gives a onesided, slicked, even lazy and easily digestable portrayal of the band and its vocalist Freddie Mercury. There's suprisingly little to grab hold of, a typical biopic, probably all the juiciest bits evened out and their biggest assets - their songs and song writing - are left without too much attention. And not to take anything away from Rami Malek's performance, but his flamboyance was a tad too excessive and it just looked like actor doing his job, nothing too remarkable.

Tales from the dead west

Season #9 of The Walking Dead. Once again, I seriously contemplated of  leaving it at that and just drop watching the series. I don't like most of the characters any longer, it's full of shit episodes, but the ones that aren't shit are extraordinary good therefore it's still watchable and I'm anticipating the following season.

Fascist in a good way

Well, I had nothing to do, so to put something on to pass the time, but not wasting it, I knew this one should guarantee a few laughs. And it sure did. A few scenes are so hilarious and vulgar that you are either disgusted and insulted or laughing your tits off.

No place for a priest

There's a hotel El Royale built exactly between the border of California and Nevada. The hotel has mysteries of its own, but the strangers who meet there by chance add even more enigma to the story. One of the best movies this year, no doubt, wonderful stylistic film noir, a proper mystery thriller, enhanced by lush colourful cinematography. Drew Goddard's (The Cabin in the Woods) second full-lenght feature.

This Boogeyman is real

Oh shit, Michael Myers escapes after 40 years of incarceration! He butchers everyone who stands in his way and particularly his old nemesis Lauri Strode should be extra wary because the stark raving lunatic is out for a revenge! I expected nothing therefore the ferocity of Michael Myers' wrath was warmly welcomed.

Turning our spitfires to face them

Set in a prison camp in Nazi Germany in 1944. The movie, frankly, has cheapness and amateurism written all over it. It looks like they built up the set at some piggery somewhere, filled it up with drama school drop-outs and hoped it looks like an authentic prison camp. And the story, well, apparently the prisoners in those places hunted cats, built radios, knitted socks and particularly made violins to kill time. Must have been fun times. Based on actual events, so it's gotta be true. Not that bad a movie though, but leaves something to be desired.

Three hidden keys to three magic gates

People's lives are so miserable in overpopulated and shitstained world that the only way of escape is a worldwide virtual reality called Oasis where you can be anyone and anything you want. Oasis is full of adventures and even secrets that open new oppurtunities. Ready Player One is a part sci-fi adventure and part animated feature. Kind of colourful high-tech pop culture hipster shit and geeks love it.

Scarred for life

I reckon this is not the best - definitely not the funniest - things Ricky Gervais has penned, but After Life has certain charm at least. Widower Tony mourns the death of his wife and considers offing himself as well. Full of brilliant laconic humour that can easily fly by if you aren't used to the style Ricky Gervais is known for. He seamlessly debates on issues of kindness, happiness, misery and vulgar laughs on a same sentence. Makes people laugh and cry at the same time. Makes After Life a memorable series and having said that, in the end, it's one of his best productions.

A good matador doesn't kill a fresh bull

The first season of Billions. The greatest surprises are the gifts you least expect. Like this one. On a table, say, mere synopsis concerned this series is about head-to-head rivalry between U.S. attorney and hedge fund businessman. Boring. I should not care less. But in truth, it's done with so much vigour, intelligence and sense of excitement that it grabs you for a ride of total entertainment. Damian Lewis and Paul Giamatti lead an absolutely stellar cast and writing turns insignificant and far-off subjects into one of the most interesting things we've ever followed.

Like raven's wing at midnight

The fifth James Bond film, directed by Val Guest, Ken Hughes, John Huston, Joseph McGrath, Robert Parrish and Richard Talmadge in 1967, starring David Niven as the agent 007, Ursula Andress as the Bond girl Vesper Lynd, John Huston as Bond's superior M (the head of MI6), Geoffrey Bayldon as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Barbara Bouchet as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Woody Allen as Dr. Noah, the head of SMERSH, the main antagonist. Most likely the worst movie I have ever seen.

The greatest mystery of heavens

Martians are turning smalltown citizens into mutants! An unknown flying object lands in a sandpile, hides and eats people for breakfast! Unwillingly but understandably corny scifi cult movie from 1953.

Safe from own memory

Dan Merrick is in a near-fatal car accident and after he wakes up from a coma he's lost most of his memory. As the secrets are coming out, digging up his past is a painful - bits gruesome - mission. Late 80s and early 90s thrillers starring either Tom Berenger or Tom Selleck were my guilty pleasures and it's nice to reminiscence the past.

Chains are broken

David Kim's daughter disappears and he starts tracking down her whereabouts on social media only to find out he knew his daughter hardly at all. The big question is did she disappear by her own choice, did she kill herself, was she kidnapped possibly killed by a stranger or someone she knew? This was built excellently, a little off-kilter from the traditional ways of movie making, using social media networks as the platform unfolding the story. The story that moved forwards like a burning fuse to a barrel of gunpowder.

Waiting for death's cold embrace

This is so typical crime comedy that I thought they'd stopped doing them. Gambling debts grown out of proportions, cheating, blackmailing, hired gun taking care of loose ends, couple of twists and turns - it's clichéd to hell and back yet it's still rather funny, funky and groovy.

All those guns to kill one man

I thought I had seen all the films starring Clint Eastwood, but somehow Joe Kidd has slipped under the radar. It has an amazing line-up: starring Clint Eastwood, John Saxon and Robert Duvall, music by Lalo Schifrin (Mission: Impossible, Bullitt, Cool Hand Luke), it's written by Elmore Leonard and directed by John Sturges (The Magnificent Seven, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral). All is well, a lovely little gem from 1972. Joe Kidd is a town drunk, trouble maker and hunter of people and animals. He's playing it cool when landowners are busy shooting each other.

The corner of another world

Ryan Gosling as Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon. The film, it's many ways excellent, it's a sensitive biopic, spot-on drama on true life and a very detailed take on the 60s US space program. The life of an astronaut however is somewhat boring at times and they have it there as well.