Anonymous tombstones

Somewhere in the backwoods, five young friends find themselves at the mercy of a mysterious flesh-eating bacteria. It's a painful and relentless killer. These young people, in their stupidity, have absolutely no chance with this horrible thing. Travis Zariwny's Cabin Fever (2016) is a remake of Eli Roth's movie (2002) of the same name. A completely useless film.

Keep on hammering the anvil

An ancient demon kills people in their sleep. Criminal psychologist Kate Fuller (Olga Kurylenko) is absolutely fucking petrified. Mara, by Clive Tonge, is a long-winded film about this sleep demon. It's such a boring, poorly acted and executed piece that the viewer has a hard time staying awake.

Taking the vow of silence

The fifth season of Seinfeld. The series keeps feeding viewers with better and wittier episodes. Some of them - The Puffy Shirt, The Barber, The Conversion, The Marine Biologist, The Raincoats, The Hamptons, The Opposite - are elites in the whole thing. Even after 30 years, Seinfeld is still the best sitcom ever released.

Insecure people are very dangerous

Gracie was involved in an unsavory scandal and a tabloid romance that gripped the nation years ago. And now they want to make a movie about her and, as a preparation, the lead actress wants to meet Gracie so she can play her. May December, by Todd Haynes, is a film based on true events with a serious subject, but it tackles the taboos of the case quite gently.  

Nothing to live for except the next mission

Fun sci-fi fantasy horror entertainment. And there's a little bit of romance here too. Two highly-trained operatives are appointed to posts in guard towers of a gorge, protecting the world from mysterious evil that lurks within. They are like the gatekeepers of hell. This film, with its own madness and genius, represents escapism in cinema at its best. Directed by Scott Derrickson. 

Bump and grind the home to hell

This just won't ignite. The story about the infamous motorcycle gang, the fictional Chicago Vandals, has its exciting moments, but is mostly just idle chatter. The roles are filled with quite competent actors like Austin Butler, Tom Hardy, Boyd Holbrook, Damon Herriman, Michael Shannon and Norman Reedus, some of whom fit their roles quite well, while others don't. Furthermore, there are no characters in the film that you can relate to or like, so it's quite frustrating to watch. 

Through the blackest edge and forward

Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman travel on electric Harley-Davidsons 13,000 miles from Ushuaia to Los Angeles. That means several hundred kilometers across Central and South America. These motorcycle adventures of Ewan and Charley and the entire filming and production crew are absolutely amazing. A real treat. The episodes are funny, heartfelt and, in many ways, eye-opening. 

Smuggling donkeys

The portion of a whisky's volume that is lost to evaporation during the ageing process is called the Angel's Share. In Ken Loach's film of the same name, petty criminals doing community service smell the potential of exploiting the whisky business. A nice dramatic comedy, but I remembered it better. 

A scandal as a wedding present

This is Alfred Hitchcock's 1940 spy thriller. An American reporter John Jones (Joel McCrea) - using the penname "Huntley Haverstock" - tries to expose enemy spies in Britain. In the midst of international espionage, he witnesses the murder of a diplomat but also falls passionately in love. Not one of Hitchcock's most famous works, nor should it necessarily be, but gripping suspense nonetheless. 

Meander the road of death

Bride kidnapping is a practice in which a man abducts the woman he wishes to marry. Apparently this is still practised in Caucasus and Central Asia. Everywhere else, it's a sex crime. This Kyrgyz film, by Mirlan Abdykalykov, shows how cruel and repulsively inhuman it really is.

Life is not doing its job

A nice drama-comedy, but this is one of those movies that you enjoy watching but don't take anything away from. An art gallery owner Goodrich (Michael Keaton) is having difficulties with both his family and his job, but he is fundamentally a kind man and things work out well for kind people. The film's syrupy ending underscores all too emphatically how family values are more important than material things and wealth, but this wasn't that bad at all.  

Feel the heat around the corner

The hardest and best action movie of all time. Easily. No weak moments. Absolute excellence from start to finish. Outstanding flick where pulse never stops and tension never lets up. An epic piece.

Love is everywhere

Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman and the entire production team, including cinematographers, have made altogether four Long Way series over the past 20 years. Namely Long Way Round (2004), Long Way Down (2007), Long Way Up (2020) and, the latest, Long Way Home (2025). All these are incredibly enjoyable to watch. Several times even. In Long Way Home, with refurbished vintage bikes (a 1974 Moto Guzzi Eldorado police bike and a BMW R75/5), they take a route from Scotland to Northern Europe and it's a nice travelogue and a fantastic adventure. The ending had a little rushed feel to it, not the usual emotional and sentimental finale they had in the past shows. Since you are already disappointed with the show ending, you need something awesome to make up for it.

One-stroke deficit

Inspired by the real events of the biggest heist of all time on Danish soil. But the filmmakers have certainly taken it easy with the facts. And what actually happened. Too much nonsense and breakdown of logic in the script. There are of course freedoms in making art, but thinking that viewers are stupid is irresponsible. No way the robbery was anything like what was described. But if you forget that, this was quite an exciting and fast-paced crime film. 

Just fuck off and sing

Great first minutes. Pete Seeger (Edward Norton) and Woody Guthrie (Scoot McNairy) meet Bob Dylan (Timothée Chalamet), a young musician who has come to New York. The story continues well and interestingly. Until Bob Dylan's diva-like nature starts to rear its head. He doesn't give the impression of a nice person. This is certainly essential and part of his essence and image, but the movie focuses too much on it when he's so damn absolute. And it is in those moments that Timothée Chalamet's weaknesses as an actor become apparent. 

The left behind

Famous French actor cancels appearance in theater production and fucks off to lavish spa in countryside instead. There he meets his old mistress, whom he once met in Paris. All of this is the best medicine and therapy to relieve stress. A fairly traditional French romantic drama, even in its unpredictability. 

A disconsolate tomorrow awaits outside

A film about Dingo, one of the most significant bands in Finnish music history and their frontman Pertti "Nipa" Neumann. The Finnish could not avoid them in the eighties. They were loved and hated. Their absolute peak only lasted a couple of years, then the decline began and it was steep as hell. Mari Rantasila's film is about their highlight years and their unyielding lead singer and songwriter. A nice portrait of the time, even excellent in its authencity and imagery, but things were handled too quickly and in a roundabout way. 

Blood divides in silence

Many Jews fled Hitler's tyranny during World War II. Neutral Finland was considered a haven of peace. Fat chance. The claws of Nazism sank there too because, fearing Russia, they jumped into the embrace of Germany. The Finnish government was fragmented in its own chaos and was leaning in one direction or another. No one had a good time. The Jews least of all, both locals and newcomers. The film is a nice breath of not-so-distant history. Klaus Härö is a masterful film director, his sense of drama is first-class. Ei koskaan yksin is not his best work, but it's impressive nevertheless. 

Unsatisfied voodoo charm

Finnish horror film by Keke Soikkeli. Without a doubt, he is trying to make his dreams come true. Does his best. As I'm sure he did with his previous film Tuomion saari (2023). Unfortunately, that's not quite enough yet. I don't even dare to laugh at this because it's absolutely horrifying. Everything is wrong, everything is messed up and so full of sheer stupidity that words are not enough. Maybe things will go better and more smoothly with the next attempt. Let's give Keke a chance.

The one you will feed wins

In Oregon, USA, a population of werewolves is thriving. You shouldn't normally go there. But something has to be done about the property that has been inherited. Bring the whole family along and forget about the nasty tales about furry monsters. There's almost nothing wrong with this, it's kind of a nice horror story, but the traditional easthetics of werewolf lore aren't paid much attention to. 

Soar like an eagle, sit like a pelican

David Brent is a personification of all the most embarrassing. So is his band Foregone Conclusion. He doesn't notice his own tastelessness. But he's funny and symphathetic and basically just well-meaning. Somewhat unnecessarily and unjustifiably though, he's trampled on and bullied here. However, Ricky Gervais's 2016 film ends on a good note. 

Stumbling around directionless

Groovy bloody fun. A weekend getaway turns into nightmarish and insane chaos. Without giving away too much of the plot, this is one of the coolest horror adventures in recent times. A real treat. Genious in its own way, but wonderfully raw and heartless. Directed by Drew Hancock.

Cursed to believe in something

You want to yell at the characters in the movie and then punch your screen because they can't hear. You are so frustrated with stupidity that it hurts. Michael Pearce's Echo Valley is a depiction of horse trainer who has enough problems of her own, but whose daughter is a drug-addicted bastard and she's just making things worse. A lot worse. 

The last time armed Germans patrolled fences

There was a hostage crisis at the 1972 Munich Olympics. It was called the Munich Massacre. And it was orchestrated by affliates of the Palestinian militant group Black September. And they attacked the Israeli team's accommodations in the Olympic Village. 900 million people were watching because the act of terrorism was broadcasted live around the world by ABC sports crew. This film is a great, vividly detailed, depiction of events. Directed by Tim Fehlbaum. 

The years of manly dreams

It's great that there are series like this. This will surely offend sensitive and ordinary viewers. There's almost everything here that will shock them. And on the other hand, some just enjoy it all. Totally and deeply enjoying it. Bad Thoughts is a disturbed, provocative, almost taboo-breaking and vulgar series. And it's great. Created by Tom Segura.

Walk through fire

Belgian Kamal, a rapper and drug dealer, gets caught, escapes and fucks off to Syria to fight with ISIS. Life there is hard. Brutal, hardly any life at all. And he regrets leaving. It's not nice when people are killed arbitrarily and for ridiculous reasons and women are like cattle for sale. Meanwhile, in Antwerpen, radicalization threatens Kamal's little brother. Quite captivating, however a few musical scenes, probably meant to add artistry and softness, didn't really suit the narrative. But a strong film and a heart-stopping ending. Directed by Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah. 

Rotten stomach linings

Joe Moore (Gene Hackman) is a high-level criminal. He loves his job. Although smart and resourseful, he doesn't shy away from nasty tricks to succeed. Perfect at his job. But even he can't no anything about his treacherous partners. David Mamet's Heist (2001) is incredibly gripping and cunning thriller. His writing style is very lively, sometimes even trying to be unnecessarily witty.

An extinguished lantern

It was worth watching, a nice story, well acted and told, but when it was boring, it was really boring. A few times, it got stuck in place for no reason and the story didn't go anywhere. Brother is a 2022 Canadian drama film of two brothers growing up in the Scarborough district of Toronto.

Eternal ghosts

You should probably stay the hell out of a roadside motel run by a crazy scythe-wielding maniac who has a crocodile for a pet. The film is pure B-grade horror, directed by none other than Tobe Hooper. Stupid, but creepy and gruesome. 

The past ain't through with us yet

This is one of the best movies ever.  An ensemble piece directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. It follows different - terminally ill, lovesick, self-absorbed, or just plain sad - people for three days. Still, the film gives a lot of joy, laughter and pleasure. Many actors give the best performances of their lives in Magnolia. Take Tom Cruise for instance. 

Married to desert

Even a bad horror movie can be worth watching. But that's it. For instance, a shitty western is a shitty western. The badness of Brett Bentman's The Bounty Men isn't even funny. Let's be thankful this piece of shit doesn't last more than 75 minutes. 

The Moon fell from the sky

In the hopes of altering tragedic events in the past, a 19th century professor, with a time machine he built, accidentally travels 800,000 years into the future. Up ahead, mankind still exists, but they also have their challenges. Based on the novel by H.G. Wells, one of its many adaptations. Kind of funny, but for the most part the potential of time travel was still largely ignored. Directed by Simon Wells, starring Guy Pearce, Sienna Guillory, Samantha Mumba and Jeremy Irons. 

Burning cotton fields

First thought was what were Pierce Brosnan and Tim Roth thinking? Renny Harlin's film The Misfits is a kind of attempt to make a modern thriller and spice it up with wild humor. And of course it fails at that. And everything else. 

Somebody needs a funeral

Reason to watch at least because of Gene Hackman's performance. But unfortunately, the reasons probably end there. This agent thriller has everything going for it, but the narrative is too sprawling and weak. Interestingly, films that are inspired by Arthur Penn's Target may be a lot better. Take Taken (2008) for example. 

Pedaling towards the sunset

 

The Guro District, Seoul, among the locals it is called Chinatown. There are gang wars between different groups over territory and trade. And the police are trying to keep the area under control. Yunsung Kang's The Outlaws is based on real events that occurred in 2007. It's rare for Korean film to disappoint in its entertainment, and this one is no exception. A slightly distorted and introverted sense of humor only made it better.

Making some kind of fruity juice

Conan O'Brien is an incredibly funny and intelligent person. This year he rightfully won the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. And the show was - rightly so - funny and intelligent. Honor is shown by people like Will Ferrell, Sarah Silverman, Stephen Colbert, Will Forte (as Mark Twain), Tracy Morgan, Adam Sandler and David Letterman. 

Silencing the echoes of the past

Is the sole goal of this film to set new records in the number of bullets fired, punches and deaths? Because there's nothing worth mentioning in the story. They presumably think we applaud and bow in the face of carnage only. Brainless junk. 

How little we've grown

Seinfeld is a household item. It's something you need sometimes and you just pick it up and be entertained.  The show about nothing hasn't even properly introduced Newman (Wayne Kramer), J. Peterman (John O'Hurley) and David Putty (Patrick Warburton) in the ranks and it still is riotous as hell.  

Love holds a lot of rain

An electric ride of a thriller divided into six chapters. A serial killer is on the loose in Oregon, USA. It's terrible, but if things only were that simple. JT Mollner's Strange Darling is a brutal, but quite hilarious film in its entertainment. The plot twists are great and they happen unexpectedly. Something you haven't seen before.

No place in the Sun

A military man's wife dies in a tragic train accident. However some people think the whole thing was a carefully orchestrated assassination and the wife a random casualty. Makes a darkly humorous offbeat thriller of revenge and seemingly insignificant things having significant impacts. Amazing Danish cinema.

On the road again

A hopelessly one-sided smear campaign. Probably no saint Brett Favre, a former professional football quarterback, but cashing in on his celebrity is a travesty. A former Playboy model and wanna-be journalist accused him of ruining her career even if they have ever met! Documentaries can't get more stupid than this little garbage.

Never hide who you are

What an amazing directorial debut by Anna Kendrick. Based on the crimes of Rodney Alcala, a serial killer and sex offender, conclusively linked to nine murders, but the true number of victims remains unknown and could be as high as 130. The oppressive atmosphere of the film sends chills down your spine. And the slow narration deepens it even more. A frightening thing.

A thousand dead sirens

Just when you think movies can't get any worse something like The Good Neighbor comes along. An American journalist in Latvia drinks and drives and kills a girl. A good neighbor comes to rescue to cover the crime and everyone acts like nothing really happened. Mistakes and absurdities everywhere.

Confusing ambition with morality

Embarrassingly bad. A worn out story where an older succesful woman cheats on her husband with a boy at least twice her age and fulfills some of her fantasies. It's uncomfortable to watch, not only because the nonexistent sexual thrills, but also because the stars of the show Nicole Kidman and Harris Dickinson are talentless mannequins all of a sudden.

Echoes amidst the ruins

Seven years in the life of Joseph Goebbels, the Minister of Propaganda for the Nazi Party and Adolf Hitler. A harrowing look into the mental landscape of soulless and barbaric people. The film deals mostly with things that happened behind the iron curtain. Still, some of the authentic footage, in particular, was uncomfortable to watch. 

The rain is groovy

Close to brilliant inconvential police story by William Friedkin. All the characters are unsympathetic to the bone. Dirty, immoral and self-centered bastards really. To Live and Die in L.A. is a vintage crime thriller where nothing goes as it should. An underrated gem.

Luck is not a strategy

Alien species killed 95% of human population. The rest 5% figured out that if you go 2438 meters (8000 feet) above sea level you are fine. The otherwise unbreakable monsters can't handle that high an altitude. The mountain forests provide food, some people are creative enough to make bullets and booze. But making medicines is a different issue, so the brave have to look for them them in the monster territories. Maybe gather usuful information of these vile creatures while at it. Essentially stupid and ridiculously flawed little film in A Quiet Place and Bird Box ballbark, but fairly interesting and entertaining. Funny popcorn suspense.

A country without a language is only half a nation

Across the globe an ingenious language dies every 40 days. Reminding us of this is Kneecap's the most important message. The comedy-drama movie otherwise is hopelessly average. The film depicts the rise of Kneecap, an Irish hip-hop trio from Belfast and they are rapping in their native Irish. There's also drugs and anti-social shit involved.

Phantom bones bite back

A quick memory refresher because they are producing follow-up seasons as we speak. An alien on a mission to destroy humanity crash-lands on Patience, Colorado. And it's damn wicked fun.

Dark nights of peril, loss and heartache

Probably the greatest war movie ever made. An absolute masterpiece. A group of soldiers who went through hell in Normandy in WWII are asked to locate Private Ryan and bring him home safely. This powerful and at times harrowingly brutal film is directed by Steven Spielberg. Starring Tom Hanks, Edward Burns, Tom Sizemore, Matt Damon ja Jeremy Davies.