We all speak Russian in hell too

Lucas Hill is an American diamond dealer stuck in the St. Petersburg area where there are two kinds of people, those who operate on vodka and those who are criminals. Lucas amazingly meets a nice coffee shop owner and instanly falls in love with her. It also stops the story of going anywhere. One of the worst this year.

Before the snake descended

A few years ago I read a long praising article or review of Embrace of the Serpent in some movie magazine (probably either Total Film or Empire) and ever since wanted to see it. But unfortunately never got around to see it. Had to purchase it abroad. As always, something you wait so eagerly doesn't quite meet up the expectations. However it's still worth the wait and effort. Set in two time periods in the jungles by the river Amazon. Western civilization exploits the old sacred indian medicine, wisdom and magic. Still, it's a beautiful film.

Surviving ain't a crime

Originally from Gambia, Mou is a paperless refugee living in Barcelona collecting scrap metal for living. Like all the refugees, he has a dream of better life, he'd happily work in a restaurant or become a professional singer, but can't become one unless he gets freedom and the papers. He has a good - albeit troubled - soul, does Mou, although blaming everyone else for his misery but himself ain't the right way.

Seahorses pair for life

Some people want to live ostracized from society. Father and daughter, Will and Tom, are like those people. The dad's a lost cause, but the daughter however have some social skills left. How to remain independent, but still escape the slavery and obsessions the modern world instutes? How to escape forcefed religion? Sometimes people are better-off in the woods. In all this turmoil, how Will and Tom can keep their family going? An enganging, reticent, beautiful yet tad melancholic little low budget film.

Pleasure is the antidote of death

A perfectly detailed espionage thriller mini series. Courtesy of John le Carré. Israeli agents recruit a British actress to infiltrate her into a terrorist cell which hobbies include killing jews all over Europe. To be honest, the series never really took off, lots of frustrating rambling, particularly on the tepid relationship between the actress and a Mossad agent. Even the finale was boring as shit.

The call of the cowards

It's more or less the same story. Lord of Loxley, Robin Hood, becomes a thief. His new buddy - Maori Yahya aka. John - teaches him to become master of his craft. Series of robberies begin and the sheriff of Sherwood ain't too happy. The old story hasn't looked so plastic and tasteless ever before. They are spewing ridiculous one-liners back and forth, too much too soon for the actor Taron Egerton, Robin Hood himself is an annoying little brat and the haircuts, make-ups and clothes of these medieval people are ripped right out of the latest fashion magazine. Just plain stupid.

The king is risen

The biggest problem with these popular superhero movies is that they aren't Rated R. I truly wish they'd forget box office numbers and produce serious hardcore superhero movies where people die on bullet impact, they bleed, curse and unleash hell. This lullaby - for fuck's sake - is K-12, so it's both harmless and childish. Story of the rift between the kingdoms of Atlantis and it's one endlessly boring fight.

Never blow out the eastern candle

An old art dealer on the brink of bankruptcy discovers an unknown painting he suspects is the work by the great Russian painter Ilja Repin. The only problem is to prove it and to purchase the unknown yet valued piece. The director Klaus Härö's character-based sentimental films portray a natural and classic touch, thus have a lasting effect.

One terrible day God answered

It's like a mishmash of Stephen King stories. A small town in Maine, where else, is stricken with suicides and mass murders, people are stuck in nightmares and it seems like the great Satan himself walks upon its grounds. It's a whole lot of weight for one town - and for one show. And even if it's captivating and mesmerizingly beautiful horror at times, the season 1 of Castle Rock is too puzzled. It's quite impossible to focus on the core of the story because there hardly is any.

The black sun rises

Juice Leskinen (1950-2006) was one of the most famous singer-songwriters in Finland of his time. A genious lyricist who left a lasting remark on Finnish musical folklore. On many ways he was a mirror to a Finnish soul, a quiet humble man who drank like the next one. And the fame and moderate fortune only increased his addictions. Despite Juice's untimely death, he had a strong and productive career, therefore it would have deserved a little more in-depth approach and his aplenty classic songs the coverage they'd quite rightly deserve. The spirit of the age was executed nicely though.

She's like a beautiful ghost

Unbeknownst the reasons, I dragged this DVD at home with me. Yet anyways I'd never imagine I'd watch it, but I did. It's shit for brains. Emily goes missing and her friend, vlogger Stephanie, who is not really her friend, suspiciously appears to be taking her place as a mother and lover. Artificial thrills, superficial laughs, clichéd waste of time.

Kill a hipster, save your hood

They dug out kind of an amusing way of telling of the thug life of Oakland, California. Closing in on the last day of his parole, Collin is trying to take it as easy as possible with his friend and co-worker in a moving company, a white dude Miles. Life is in nice cosmic rhythm, Collin is trying to get used to a new way of healthy living and things are excited because he has a crush on a nice girl as well. But a little glitch in pulse, one smallest of misdemeanours, may have terrible consequences and it would be prison time for good. Decent drama of street injustice.

Catch the tuna

Baker Dill is a fisherman who has his own Moby Dick haunting him; a massive tuna that constantly escapes his hooks and skills of fishing. His business as a fishing guide for tourists is quickly going down the drain because his obsession of catching the monster tuna is getting in the way of paying customers. One pretty lucrative - and personal - deal could solve all his problems. It's his biggest game yet. I didn't spoil myself ahead of this thriller, but felt early that something fishy is up, but it still caught me by a big surprise. Clever and enjoyable little fucker, despite of the low ratings I've seen everywhere.

Sometimes it's better to choose your own family

Winner of Palme d'Or. A story of a deprived Japanese family living the ghetto who steal food and basic household items to stay alive. With an extra mouth to feed, a new member - a kidnapped lassie - in the family doesn't really help the situation, but her presence brings joy to the whole lot. Pretty alright, but the greatest thing is that the movie shows Japan and its culture and people the way it's hardly ever seen before. High technology, the strict business culture, busy streets of Tokyo, the glitter of J-pop, and so on, are rather gruelly replaced by unemployment, poverty and grey everydayness.

Wind of the red moon

Former florist, 90-year old Earl Stone, is a different kind of drug mule. Unlike his Mexican cartel partners who are all hyped up and ready to explode any minute, Earl opts to enjoy life and he's astonishingly relaxed even during the gigs. Despite involving an essentially violent and grim subject, it's dealt with such a perfect subtle light-hearted touch that I don't imagine not many other than Clint Eastwood could have pulled it off. One of his best films from the past couple of decades, close to a masterpiece really.

Dreams of war, dreams of liars

Based on the 2000 K-141 Kursk submarine disaster, in which 118 Russian sailors died. I feel a little unase watching filmings of events where you know the tragic outcome. It's too near in the past, you remember how it happened and unfolded. The other recent deadly tragedies such as 9/11, The Indian Ocean tsunami, Gulf War, and what have you, beneath the chaos, there was also slivers of uplifting, heroic moments, but Kursk has none, it's a hopeless abyss.

Dead on the shitter

These mindless action movies that are hysterically full of plotholes are kind of fun to watch. Terrorists plant football team West Ham's home stadium full of explosives and if their wishes aren't met, intend to blew it to kingdom come. So ridiculous at attempting to do thrilling action that it's borderline comedy.