There's no present like time

A pointless follow-up to The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. The manager of the establishment Sonny Kapoor (Dev Patel) wants to marry the love of his life Sunaina (Tina Desai) and expand his empire. The film greatly concentrates on that. Otherwise is much the same as the first one. Richard Gere joins the cast.

To outsource old age

There's a somewhat derelict old building masqueraded as a luxury resort and hotel for the British elderly in Jaipur, India. A pleasant film. Not quite necessarily make you want to retire in India, but the cast (Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Maggie Smith, Tom Wilkinson, Celia Imrie, Ronald Pickup, Penelope Wilton and Maggie Smith) does their best to sell it.

Geography is destiny

Not quite convinced of John Krasinski as Jack Ryan, a CIA analyst and intelligence officer. Don't see any specific reason either. Maybe his boyish looks or his past roles needlessly confuse things. Either way, the show - Jack Ryan TV-series - is good so far. Not great but more than watchable stuff on the post 9/11 espionage. Heard something completely different from the second season.

Do not shit where you eat

Porter just wants his money back. Mel Gibson is at his absolute best in Brian Helgeland's Payback (1999). He portrays a street-wise tough at nails no-shit-giving crook seeking revenge of the wrong-doings against him. He is out to there to make things straight with heroin dealers, sado-masochists, crooked cops, mobsters and such! And it makes terribly entertaining crime noir.

Cooped up in iddy-biddy dark places

Mafia wants to kill a witness whose been transported to Switzerland. They send a police officer there to protect and escort her back to Phoenix. Love and Bullets includes a few iconic movie stars, namely Charles Bronson as the cop, Henry Silva as the cold-blooded assassin of the organized crime and Rod Steiger as the mob boss. Sadly, a pretty forgettable movie otherwise.

Respect the spirits

Six friends hold a seance via Zoom during COVID-19 lockdown, but things go fairly shitty really fast. Makes a terribly cool scary picture. The runtime clocking somewhere in sixty minutes is perfectly enough. Host (by Rob Savage) wastes no time in its paranormal horror.

Whispers in the pandemonium

Finnish commando and gold digger Aatami Korpi eats Nazis and Ruskies for breakfast. He's a one-man death squad. A German officer Bruno is a resilient little fucker hunting him and the purest of Lapland gold Aatami is carrying. However, good men are hard to kill as they just refuse to die. Sisu is a revenge flick like no other. A spectacular feast set in WWII northern Finland. Funny as fuck as well. And such a mad ride of a movie that I watched it twice in couple of days.

Rage turned inwards

Steve Buscemi's character - Anthony Soprano's paroled cousin Tony Blundetto - is a major figure in The Sopranos season # 5. Likewise Andriana (Drea de Matteo) who gets deeper with the Feds. There's also an alarming power struggle between the New Jersey and New York crime families. Still one of the greatest shows ever made, damn near perfect.

When the sky makes no sound

The Association is a badass institution of organized crime. It's an international crime syndicate dedicated to extortion, smuggling and murder. In Amsterdam, they kidnap a wee children Angie. Luckily Angie's family has ties to ex-military people, like a giant of a man Matteo (Rico Verhoeven). Black Lotus is a B movie fair and square, a barely watchable fucker, reminiscences of the Steven Seagal movies of the yesteryear.

Flicker in the water

Beach houses are nice. But not the ones that are by the sea infested with an alien life form that generates some kind of mysterious fog when the twilight sets in. People have to get out of there fast. Surprisingly tedious horror with only couple of deliciously nasty scenes.

Songs from the nameless road

The guy just wants to fix his piano. Then sell it. And fuck off to Europe. Anywhere safe from the ISIS fuckers in Syria. He embarks on a dangerous quest across the country to find keys to his beloved instrument. Quite harrowing and exciting, but only quite.

Knockin' on eternal flame

In the aftermath of a little murder, a bagful of suspects emerge and a one good cop (Benicio Del Toro) is caught in the crossfire. A solid crime movie. Not an amazing thing, but after a slow-moving start, the last 30 minutes were rewarding at least.

The price of giving orders

Alright but a bit annoying. A homeless gay man joins the army. At first the place is a Full Metal Jacket type purgatory, but once the initial shock and prejudices are thrown outta window, they all are good fucking Marine buddies at an amusement park. Inspired by a true story.

Entombed within your own body

Father James (Brendan Gleeson) is like glue that holds the small town of Easkey, Ireland, together. He has the answers to all the questions expect for the one that asks who wants to kill him. A strong Irish drama counterbalancing the shit I've seen of late.

The long road under the midnight sun

I read and heard that Andrei Alén's Hirttämättömät is shit. But this bad? You couldn't create anything this stupid, not even if you put an effort. It's a comedy that doesn't make you laugh, moreover it makes you hate everyone involved. If it's based on improvisational comedy, the actors don't have any sense of humor, or intelligence for that matter, if it's scripted, the same with the writers. The worst movie of the year. A travesty of cinema.

A ghost in search of a graveyard

I'm afraid the endless fights and ultra violence don't leave a lasting remark anymore. Sure, it's all executed and choreographed well, but the action is so excessive that it's downright boring. The cool and wicked John Wick character that once was has long gone. The franchise has shot itself in the leg.

Time to face gravity

A James Bond movie directed by Lee Tamahori in 2002, starring Pierce Brosnan as the agent 007, Halle Berry as the Bond girl Jinx Johnson, Judi Dench as Bond's superior 'M" (the head of M16), John Cleese as 'Q' (the head of Q division) and Toby Stephens as the main antagonist Gustav Graves. The title song performed by Madonna. North Korean terrorists, diamonds and one international space weapon endangering the future of the world. James Bond at its cartoonish worst.

Something ominous

It's a fun bloodbath. And a wicked ride. A couple head to a cabin, and each has intentions to kill the other. A dark humour comedy at its finest. Directed by Tommy Wirkola, known by his Dead Snow pieces.

Ain't gettin' no older than tomorrow

A bank robber intends to find and kill his former partner in crime (now an acting sheriff) who betrayed him. One Eyed Jacks is Marlon Brando's directional debut from 1961 and it's stellar piece of work. Amazing cinematography and damn interesting drama. One of the greatest westerns.

Magic dirt on arrival

Nazis have occupied Paris. A jeweller jew, Joseph Haffman, is stuck in a basement with nothing else to do but read. And having occasional sex. A fellow goldsmith helps him out. A captivating story, however lacks real excitement.

Blood is life

Looked like bad TV and the acting performances accordingly, but when all hell breaks loose inside an aeroplane it's kind of cool and bloody jumble of vampires and zombies. The main vampire's traits such as  baldness, enhanced eyes, pointy ears, pale blue skin, enlarged mouth and animalistic teeth, are perfectly similar to Max Schreck's Nosferatu.

Free from all you titty-sucking parasites

These poor fucks are stuck in an apartment building with the Necronomicon, the book of the dead, and an ungodly otherworldly spirit whose agenda is to kill everyone. Evil Dead Rise, by Lee Cronin, is ridden with jump-scares and unpleasant footage, but hardly pays homage to the Sam Raimi originals.

At paranoia's poison door

What an amazing documentary! Never known much about King Crimson, a progressive band formed in 1968 in London, but after witnessing this I’m like their number 1 fan! Such extremely funny yet again very sad film of a band whose musicianship is mind-blowingly exceptional, the hierarchy somewhat disciplinary (courtesy of Robert Fripp) and where all the egos are real, fragile and eccentric. And the film is so much more than a story of a long-standing (their 50th anniversary) band.

Dead people stay silent

A young woman mutilates her face on a car accident, but luckily her father is a surgeon who might succeed attaching a new face on her. You need fresh faces first though, so kidnapping, drugging and scalpelling another young women is their way to successful transplant. French-Italian horror movie from 1960. Once quoted as the sickest film ever released.

Long overdue

I hate it with the new Scream movies that they constantly make references to the Scream films in the past. Like they'd expect us to know and remember everything that has happened before. This is the 6th one in the series, the original was released 27 years ago, that's a lot to remember.

When you are lost in the darkness

Everyone said how good it is and, sure enough, The Last of Us season #1 definitely lived up to the expectations. A few sensational episodes and as a whole one of the greatest series ever created. Needless to say, but the best adaptation based on a video game thus far!

Hell in the Arctic Circle

It's just horseshit really. Obnoxious comedy that's nowhere near funny. One of those films you want to see just because you want to know what to hate. Otherwise, utter waste of time.

Tapestry to the world

Cairo Conspiracy by Tarik Saleh. Fisherman's son, Adam, is offered the privilege to study at the Al-Azhar University in Cairo. Soon he becomes a pawn in the conflict between Egypt's religious and political people. Both elite parties are ridden with corruption. A poignant, provocative and incendiary topic, so much so that the movie is banned in Egypt.

Last mournful whisper

A detective is obsessed over a woman suspected of killing her husband. A bit of a strange love story trapped in a web of deception and secrecy. A beautifully shot South-Korean film by the Oldboy director Park Chan-wook. Involving the unnecessary subplots in the story its only mistake.

Blood from melodramatic people

So low-budget torture horror that it isn't even funny. Western tourists are making mockery and indulging in their own Sodom and Gomorrah in the fictional island of La Tolqa. An annoying little shit. Starring people like Mia Goth, Alexander Skarsgård and Cleopatra Coleman. Directed by David Cronenberg's son Brandon Cronenberg.

You have to be alone forever

Based on Dennis Lehane's short story Animal Rescue. Last film appearance of James Gandolfini. He died one month after shooting had wrapped. And it's just a damn solid crime film. Cousins Bob Saginowski (Tom Hardy) and Marvin Stipler (James Gandolfini) run a bar which the Chechen mafia uses as a drop for illegal money. There hardly are no heroes in the story where people are constantly getting clipped, beaten or vanished, but the way it presents itself is somewhat smooth and stylish.

Surrounded by emptiness

Hassisen Kone is one of the most iconic rock and roll bands in Finland. The documentary, by Mika Kaurismäki, got the old crew back together and they performed their last show at the Ratina stadium in Tampere in 2022. High quality entertainment and exceptional music.

Reeking of racial hatred

A true story of Emmett Louis Till (1941-1955), an African American boy who was abducted, tortured and lynched in Mississippi and who posthumously became an icon of the civil rights movement. The movie, by Chinoney Chukwu, is powerful and it's done through the mother's eyes and Danielle Deadwyler is amazing. Still, appalling shit.

A conspiracy of the elite

A high school student finds out her mother has an affair with a woman. Of all people, her school's social worker. The news hit hard on the wee girl and the top student gets all depressed. Or she just plays it out for spite. The movie's kind of a good start fizzled out quickly and the promising set-up never ignited.

Blacker than the ace of spades

Black Diamond (Michael Jay White) is a bad ass. He's a vigilante for justice keeping the streets safe. He declares war on drug dealers, wiping smack off the streets. He's also mercilessly trying to find the people responsible for his brother's death. Hits the mark as a homage to the 70s blaxploitation genre.

Last train to spectrum obscure

Ida goes missing and his new boyfriend is being interrogated by her family. An emotionally charged Danish drama, melancholic as if paving way for horrible and heart-breaking outcome. Pretty flat otherwise.

Requim for the white lines

A black bear high as a kite on cocaine terrorizes a Chattahoochee National forest on Blood Mountain. The drug has made the bear all vicious and he's grown a habit to it. And loves it now. The park rangers, police, backpackers and the people who lost the drugs in the woods are fucking petrified. A crazy splatterish comedy doesn't run for Academy Awards, but there's always a time and place for movies like this.

Lonesome in living free

A Polish Holocaust survivor Polsky residing in Columbia gets a new neighbor who bears a strong resemblance to Adolf Hitler. Other things match as well. The neighbor's temper, he's a left-handed vegetarian and has a passion for art. Mr. Polsky starts an independent investigation to prove his suspicion. Quirky and kind of downbeat a story, but a surprisingly light-hearted film still.

It doesn't matter what we believe

A true story of Mohamedou Ould Slahi, a Guantánamo Bay detention camp prisoner, who other people wanted to liberate and the other call for execution for allegedly being the head recruiter of 9/11. He spent 14 years and two months incarcerated. He was tortured 70 days straight. Until he was proven innocent. A powerful film, a real page-turner had it been a book. An excellent cast of Tahar Rahim, Jodie Foster and Benedict Cumberbatch.

All Gods shall die

It's still entertaining and visually engaging, but on the same token it's more throwaway popcorn comedy than ever before. Thor and his pals are after God Butcher who intends to wipe out all the deities to kingdom come and leaving nothing but chaos in his wake. The cast is versatile and the stars in it are endless: Chris Hemforth, Christian Bale (his great performance absolutely wasted here), Natalie Portman, Chris Pratt, Idris Elba, Russell Crowe, Dave Bautista, Matt Damon and so on.

Your place in the sun

Petite Maman by Céline Sciamma (Tomboy, Portrait de la jeune fille en feu) is a unique drama and the twin sisters in the lead are natural talents, but it's not one of those movies you'd watch all over again. Emotional almost a meditative film.

Get whipped and go to bed hungry

Samurai Kuroda Jubei (Toshiro Mifune) and cowboy Link Stuart (Charles Bronson) are after a stolen golden sword and bagfuls of gold. Of course they also want to make things straight with the people who took them, particularly the leader Gauche (Alain Delon). Shouldn't be too hard for the two seasoned hardcore warriors, unless they don't kill each other first that is. Red Sun, by Terence Young, is a brilliant western movie from 1971.

As pure as the driven snow

Roman Polanski directs and Harrison Ford in the lead. Exciting albeit a little confusing thriller of a US doctor first losing luggage and then his wife. And instead of trusting the local police he opts to crack the case open himself. Solid but nothing overly brilliant.

Hot riding around the universe

Blob is a great ball of mucus from outer space and as it feeds on people, it grows bigger. And deadlier. And more difficult to kill. Makes a proper horror cult classic. From 1958. Starring Steve McQueen. Directed by Irwin S. Yeaworth Jr. and Russell S. Doughten Jr.

Hostage to the light

Tried to watch the series Sorjonen (Bordertown) but never got past the first episode. The movie The Mural Murders is even worse. It's so painfully slow that it's frustrating and so embarrassing and pathetic that it hurts.

Stuck in revenge

Hands down, some of the craziest and the most acrobatic action sequences ever in cinema. Just mesmerizing and mind-blowing. Defies the laws of physics, I'm sure, but you're drawn into its magic. A decent enough a story too. Chock-full of bullets and unhinged gung-ho.

Poisonous darts piercing our lungs

These climate change movies or documentaries aren't too uplifting. And they shouldn't be. Without understanding the obvious warning signs and the hardcore facts of how things stand, humans are slowly but effectively killing themselves extinct. We are running out of fresh water and clear air. If we don't scorch ourselves to death first. And it seems no one gives a shit. We are deserved to die. Invisible Demons, by Rahud Jain, deals with one of the worst cesspools, Delhi, India, where pollution is more or less a public disease. I just can't fathom the stupidity.

The part where you run

A decent thing, but on the same token, a bit lame. No surprise because it originally should be Rated R, but it’s toned down to PG-13, so not that much horror or apocryphal imaginary. Not that it matters much anyways, it’s more or less Child’s Play all over again. A robotics engineer at a toy company builds a life-like doll that begins to take on a life of its own. Nothing to see.

God's fingers scorching the Earth

A definitely proper M. Night Shyamalan movie! Brilliant take on the four the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. A family of three confused of the fucking weird shit such as drowning cities, plagues, falling skies and everlasting darkness unfolding before their eyes. Only their sacrifice will stop it.

A disgrace to depression

Fun little shit ainnit? Prob'ly never going to be remembered as the greatest of drama comedies, but a feelgood little fucker. Directed by James L. Brooks and starring Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, Greg Kinnear and Cuba Gooding Jr.