Sunday, November 08, 2020

In the wake of the weary

Rayburn runs a wildlife sanctuary. It's a nice place, but he has to deal with shit like poachers and vandalism. Rayburn has had a fair share of misery; the disapperance of his daughter and a divorce that followed within. Unsurprisingly he tries to drown his sorrow with booze. As if this wasn't enough, wrong kind of men and women with terribly wrong and illogical decisions start popping around every corner. A messy thriller, horrible script with surprising yet silly twist in the end, bits entertaining though.

Friday, November 06, 2020

Circles around the bronze ashes

Liam wakes up from a car accident not only oblivious to his own being, but he's also become a grim reaper incarnate causing immediate death to anyone in his proximity. He sucks the life out of someone or something by just coming close. He fucken radiates death. I like these low-key indies where inventiveness and perseverance overshadow the low budget.

Thursday, November 05, 2020

Someone somewhere forgot a zero

To capture cop killers, they isolate Manhattan, N.Y., by closing its bridges (hence the title 21 Bridges), tunnels, rivers and railroads. A complete Manhattan lockdown. Sounds interesting altho in the end it's only a sidenote in a cliché-ridden plotholed story of good cops and bad corrupt cops. Decent cast of Chadwick Boseman (his last theatrically released film), Sienna Miller, J.K. Simmons, Keith David and Taylor Kitch.

Friday, October 30, 2020

Man in the jar

An emotionally charged story of a construction worker turned a basketball couch. His former life was ridden with booze and death and misery, so leading a Catholic high school team could be a welcome change. There's lots of sadness, with little glimpses of hope, and the film deals with the emotions comfortably enough. Ben Affleck in one of his better roles.

Friday, October 23, 2020

Allsång på Skansen

Just a while ago I read Miika Nousiainen's hilarious novel - Vadelmavenepakolainen (2007) - about a Finnish man who desperately wants to be Swedish. The movie is a wasted opportunity. Not only have they left most of the contents out, but they've just snipped the basic idea and cooked up the rest. Almost a completely different entity. And the result is close to terrible.

Where the lightning strikes

I decided to choose between two films from 2019 that I haven't seen before and that I kind of knew weren't going to make much of an impact. Nicolas Cage's Grand Isle or John Travolta's The Fanatic. Randomly picked up the former where, during a hurricane, a fence repairman gets stuck in the mansion of a rather batshit crazy couple and can't seem to figure out what to do. He just wants to survive the night. Completely embarrassing to everyone involved, me included.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

On trial for thoughts

Chicago 7 were a group of American activists/anarchists and they were on trial for several things including conspiracy and inciting a riot. They did amazingly well with the legal drama, some of the best courtroom sequences ever witnessed. It's both funny and shocking. Sacha Baron Cohen as Abbie Hoffman, the social activist, and Mark Rylance as William Kunstler, the lawyer defending the Chigaco Seven, particularly stood out.

Thursday, October 08, 2020

What's the point ending up dead?

After 29 years things are falling apart for Grace (Annette Bening) and Edward (Bill Nighy). Edward has found someone else. But can he just walk away, disappear into a new life? They have a son who, albeit unwillingly, is joining in as a mediator and a messenger boy between the parents. A hopelessly decent relationship drama set in a picturesque coastal town. Nothing remarkable anywhere except that it's always a pleasure watching Bill Nighy's somewhat inconspicuous and leisurely acting.

Tuesday, October 06, 2020

It's like riding a bike

Four young women steal professional diving equipment and enter an underwater cave for fun. Their stupidity deserves to die because shit like getting trapped in the cave with a great white shark and running out of fucking oxygen might happen. B-movie horror full of claustrophobic panic and hysterical screams, but that's all.

Voices from a starless domain

It's just awfully disgusting and disturbing. Chris Watts cold-bloodedly murders his wife, unborn baby and two little daughters, aged three and five. Left a stinking feeling in my stomach that will linger there for days. A true life documentary and a true testimony to the evil that men do.

Saturday, October 03, 2020

Tip of the pentacle

A James Bond movie directed by John Glen in 1983, starring Roger Moore as the agent 007, Maud Adams as the Bond girl Octopussy, Robert Brown as Bond's superior 'M' (the head of MI6), Desmond Llewelyn as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Louis Jordan as Kamal Khan, the main antagonist. The opening theme "All Time High" sung by Rita Coolidge. A story of illegal jewellery trade is quickly escalated into a threat of nuclear war, but luckily James Bond is awfully good at sniffing out the perpetrators. 

Sunday, September 27, 2020

Like nothing you've ever seen

Curtis (excellent Michael Shannon) has bad dreams and he sees signs everywhere that something awful is looming on the horizon. It's catastrophic storm of the end of the world magnitude or his mind is playing tricks on him. Either way, it's better be prepared with a proper tornado shelter and some psychoanalysis. A superb drama of severe paranoia with a truly all-powering oppressive atmosphere.

Thursday, September 17, 2020

An arrow shot into the sun

Late 18th century, England and France are fighting for the possession of the American continent. Native American tribes such as Hurons and Mohicans have joined the war and if people aren't bombing themselves to death, the more primitive ways like scalping and burning humans alive are as effective causing chaos and increasing the bodycount. It's a Michael Mann film from 1992, often cited as a masterpiece and a timeless classic. Were I to say it's decent but overrated and not aged particularly well, I'd prob'ly be wrong.

Saturday, September 12, 2020

People should know when they are conquered

I've been wanting to see this even though I've seen it a dozen times already, know and remember every scene by heart. It's one of those things. You sit down with it and you are terribly entertained. Gladiator is an emotionally charged story, revenge flick, suspenseful adventure and an epic drama in one brilliant piece of cinema.

Thursday, September 10, 2020

Wiser than men or wolf

Fuckers steal a goofy massive dog Buck to sell it to prospectors to utilize its strenght finding and transporting gold from Yukon. A very long way from home, unaccustomed to snow and ice, let alone open sky, the final frontier of earth sends Buck from one adventure to another. He's very much on his own in the wilderness, until he hits it off with another lone soul, an experienced frontiersman John Thornton (Harrison Ford). Based on Jack London's classic novel. The dog is entirely computer generated, a bit cheesy, but surprisingly likeable at that, and overall an entertaining family movie.

Monday, September 07, 2020

We all have blood on our hands

An Austrian farmer voices his opinion that he ain't too pleased with the values of fascism. For speaking his mind, he and his family are ostracized from their home village and things are worsening by the minute. He either has to join the Third Reich army in World War II or hide in the woods, thus possibly captured, executed. Three hours is a little excessive to tell the true story of Franz Jägerstätter,  a conscientious objector, but Terrence Malick keeps it interesting. And, as always, watching a Terrence Malick film, it's like watching hundreds of works of art in a row. Michael Nyqvist's and Bruno Ganz's last film.

Friday, September 04, 2020

Luton is a four-letter word

It's Luton, late 80s, the city like the rest of England is overrun by poverty and bigotry. It's not particularly easy for a Pakistani student Javed, a gifted writer, who is controlled by a stern traditional family and a hostile society. But once he discovers the music and words of Bruce Springsteen, he is in for a massive dose of self-confidence. In spite of bleak British environment that was delivered brilliantly, it's still a rather uplifting and heartwarming a movie.

Under the hammer of malignancy

The Grudge: The Untold Chapter is just a collection of jumpscares caused by a super haunted house on 44 Reyburn Drive, Pennsylvania. There's a Japanese spirit - or curse - that terrorizes people and families in connection with the residence. Nothing is interesting or entertaining, it's just a terribly bad movie.

Thursday, September 03, 2020

Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration

The year is 10191. The people in the known universe are fighting over a precious substance, spice called melange, that extends life and expands consciousness, and it's vital to space travel. Denis Villeneuve will have his say to the story later this year. The David Lynch cut, cult movie or not, is surreal and somewhat confusing with crappy and unintentionally funny special effects.

Tuesday, September 01, 2020

Friends are the family you choose

An orphan dude with a Down syndrome escapes from a nursing home and ends up in the company of a poacher, who is also on the run. The two baddies on the road make a pretty fun bunch and their adventure across the marshlands of North Carolina an eventful one. Can't help it though that it's a bit too naive and goofy. A well-meaning little thing nevertheless.

Monday, August 31, 2020

Home crap home

Sometimes I wish these kind of movies came with a laughter track, so you could at least pretend to laugh at the right places. A Finnish remake of the 1986 American film The Money Pit, starring Tom Hanks and Shelley Long, that already was a remake.

Sunday, August 30, 2020

The bruises left behind

Tinder matches are on a date. While returning home they're pulled over by a police officer who gets killed and the couple have a nationwide manhunt on their back. However it's not really a high-speed chase across the nation, they more or less leisurely drive around Kentucky and New Orleans, take occasional breaks and casually chat what to do next. And the people, obviously, support them because killing cops is so nice and wonderful.

Saturday, August 29, 2020

The jackrabbit always wins

It's like a fox hunt, but humans have replaced the foxes. Group of people are kidnapped, left in the forest and rich liberal elite start hunting them for sport. A dark comedy that starts out great, but unfortunately uses too much of its ammo midway, still a rather great and fresh approach to survival horror.

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Should the mountain crumble to the sea

From hero to zero. Security guard Richard Jewell saves dozens of lives from an exploding bomb at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta, but the incompetent fucks at the FBI incomprehensibly treat and profile him as the primary subject. Clint Eastwood's take on the case is excellent, without too much fuzz and nothing over the top, he keeps the story going forward, with unwavering intensity and top notch acting by Paul Walter Hauser, Sam Rockwell and Kathy Bates.

Shores in flames

Well, there are not that many films or TV shows that make me laugh out loud, but Norsemen does that, numerous times. Season # 3, unfairly only six 30 minute episodes, but what a fucken hoot.

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Full of misery from top to bottom

A young woman wants to get her revenge for sickening stuff a few British officers did to her family. Travelling with a local guide, she goes through ruthless Tasmanian wilderness and hopes to find the murderous bastards. A low-budget indie that nourishes itself on disgusting shit as the hunt itself, criss-crossing across the island, has a bit of an aimless feel to it, but above average revenge flick nevertheless.

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

First dig two graves

A James Bond movie directed by John Glen in 1981, starring Roger Moore as the agent 007, Carole Bouquet as the Bond girl Melina Havelock, Desmond Llewelyn as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Julian Glover as Kristatos, the main antagonist. Title song performed by Sheena Easton. There's a missing British vessel with secret nuclear intelligence called A.T.A.C. (Automatic Targeting Attack Communicator) underneath the water and James Bond has to get there first. And it involves lots of driving, diving, skiing and rock climbing.

Sunday, August 23, 2020

Happiness loves company

The Jesus Rolls tries its dearest, but Big Lebowski's legacy is far too great to be tarnished. It's a shame though, I'm sure John Turturro's intentions were sincere and good, but this is all bollocks and embarrassing. Jesus Quintana repeats the phrases he already uttered in Big Lebowski as he and his buddy Petey (Bobby Cannavale), both on parole, are involved in petty crimes. A sad attempt coat tailing a cult movie.

Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise

A day in the lives of three police officers in a working-class suburb of Montfermeil, Paris. They are head to head with the underworld, try to maintain peace with the influential community leaders and tread a tightrope between the demands of the law and real life. All hell breaks loose when one arrest goes tragically wrong. A pretty hard hitting drama of police brutality and racism.

Hope is a dangerous thing

The cinematography is probably the greatest that I have ever seen. The film, it looks absolutely amazing and the way it is executed - like it was done all in one shot - is magically cool. It's WWI, couple of soldiers has an important message to deliver to the troops in the frontline and it's a bloody dangerous adventure. Easily one of the best movies I've seen all year and more weight to the fabulous cinema of 2019 (alongside Joker, The Irishmen, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Ford v Ferrari and Parasite).

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

When the lion is hungry, it eats

After Aladdin, this is more trademark Guy Ritchie. In fact, it's back to the roots, somewhere he's truly good at, the crime shit; Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch as the reference points. Michael Pearson (Matthew McConaughey) is the new cannabis baron in London, and lots of people - motivated either by greed or revenge - try to outwit him, his wife Rosalind (Michelle Dockery) and his secretatary/bodyguard Ray (Charlie Hunnam). The outcome is terribly entertaining and cool, bits violent, but with plenty of laughs. A great cast, where particularly Hugh Grant and Colin Farrell stand out.

Monday, August 17, 2020

They are all princesses

Guy Ritchie's take on the tale from One Thousand and One Nights. He hasn't done too much to change the tradition, it still is a love story and a musical fantasy, but of course there's money well spent on modern makeover and the eastern magic is more sparkling than ever before. And the colourful extravaganza is absorbing to say the least.

Sunday, August 16, 2020

Everything but the spine

This is the invisible man as it was originally (courtesy of H. G. Wells) intented: the devil incarnate. People think Cecilia Kass is losing her shit, but she's being tormented by her sicko husband that no one can see. Good bloody horror, plenty of brilliant scares and truly a stunning performance by Elisabeth Moss. A few plotholes and logic issues here and there, but luckily plenty of hysterically wicked scenes as well.

Saturday, August 15, 2020

A seed has to rot in the ground

Apartheid South Africa was a racist fuck. All the subversive people were imprisoned. That included couple of left-wing leaflet bombers who, the minute they got locked in, plan a way to escape. One of the better Daniel Radcliffe's more mature roles as a mastermind of a true life breakout that looked like it was doomed to failure.

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

To die is to be human

A renowned and rewarded - also feared - journalist Lloyd Vogel of Esquire magazine is given an assignment out of spite to interview a children's TV show host and probably the nicest man on earth, an angel in disguise, Fred Rogers. It doesn't take long until the seasoned journalist's skin is softened to the nice old man's positive view of the world, his insights, and, in a way, things are reversed. The beautiful story is contagious and inspirational. The people in the lead (Tom Hanks and Matthew Rhys) and others in the cast are downright amazing. Perhaps the biggest feelgood and thought-provoking surpise of the year.

Saturday, August 08, 2020

Glass earth harmony

It's just me prob'ly, but I've never understood the Seth Rogen type of humour or whatever comedy he and his posse (Judd Apatow, James Franco, Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel) represents. It's playing it safe thus it's hopelessly trivial and, on a more direct note, stupid and not funny. Long Shot suits the bandwagon. A goofy journalist ends up writing the speeches of the Secretary of State and it's disgustingly canned laughter.

Friday, August 07, 2020

They say this house is theirs

Every once in a while I drift into a conversation of contemporary horror movies worth a damn and I always mention Alejandro Amenábar's The Others. It was released in 2001 already, but it's still as fucking good as it ever was. Lady of the manor Grace (Nicole Kidman), totally cut off from the world, is losing her marbles because apparently her and her children's mansion is occupied by ghosts or ghastly macabre witches. Traditional horror at its finest.

Thursday, August 06, 2020

Post-traumatic exorcism

Operation Abilene was one of the bloodiest battles in the entire Vietnam War. Fifty years later, they are seeking justice for one soldier whose effort and courage saved a many lives. Private Pitsenbarger - a legend among troops - should deserve the Medal of Honor, the highest declaration of war, posthumously. The case and investigations within are given to a hotshot Pentagon staffer who interviews, albeit reluctantly at first, the people how knew and fought with William Pitsenbarger. And it's reminiscences of the war all the way to the end. Bit of a bore and airbrushed sentimental bullshit, to be honest, but a pretty cool cast of William Hurt, Christopher Plummer, Samuel L. Jackson, Ed Harris and Peter Fonda (his last movie) at least.

Monday, August 03, 2020

Massively into swastikas

Johannes 'Jojo' Betzler is a 10-year old wee lad on the verge of becoming the bestest loyal little nazi in Jungvolk. Trouble is Jojo is a bit too nice for the third reich business and having an imaginery friend Adolf for company makes him an outcast of society and not in harmony with the uniform nazi Shangri-La. Not the most ground-breaking of satires, courtesy of Taika Waititi (Flight of the Conchords, Hunt for the Wilderpeople), but fun moments with serious undertones, witty dialogue and overall entertaining cinema.

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Forgotten even to the sea

I think Robert Eggers' previous The VVitch (2015) was overrated - I'd have to watch it again to be sure, but if my memory serves me right, it was boring. As we observe couple of lighthouse keepers in a desolate island, The Lighthouse has that, it can be slow-moving and tiresome, it feels pointless at times, but then again it's splendidly wrapped around delirium tremens, insanity, figments of imagination and bona fide chaos. Still leaves a little disappointed aftertaste.

Monday, July 27, 2020

It lives on

Mid-19th century, Oxford University has undertaken an inventory of entire English language. They chase and hunt down every single word of all centuries of writing basically by reading every book, studying the fuck out of every word. And that's pretty much to story of this movie, compiling the first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. Interestingly they chose to cast couple of odd choices, namely Mel Gibson (Mad Max, Braveheart, Lethal Weapon) and Sean Penn (Mystic River, U Turn, The Thin Red Line) in the lead (their first time in a movie together), but perhaps their charisma and presence were required to see the slow-moving drama through.

Sunday, July 26, 2020

The Burger King of badness

Skizm is a reality game of death. Coder - and a nerd - Miles (Daniel Radcliffe), guns bolted into his hands, is forced to join the game and he's scared out of his tits. Guns Akimbo merely copycats the films that are making fun of violence and slaughter of people such as Shoot 'em Up, Kingsmen, Kick-Ass and Deadpool, but has none of their charm and laughs.

Friday, July 24, 2020

It came from the stars

It gets crazy and spooky after a meteorite hits the ground of alpaca farmer's house and just mysteriously disappears. Off-beat - literally lovecraftian - horror bizarre. Colourful, wicked and entertaining, Nicolas Cage is made for these.

Sunday, July 19, 2020

Weekend rodeoing in the desert

Bruce Springsteen puts it brilliantly: "Westerm Stars is a 13-song meditation on the struggle between individual freedom and communal life.  The are two sides of the American character. One is transient, restless, solitary. But the other is collective and communal, in search of family, deep roots, and a home for the heart to reside. These two sides rub against one another always and forever in everyday American life." Never been much a fan of his music, and the film doesn't change it, but I've always appreciated Bruce Springsteen's perseverance, the assertiveness of his character.  The movie is a live concert performance of him - backed up by a band and full orchestra - singing songs from his album "Western Stars" in his own 100-year old barn. It's brilliant, shot and performed to perfection.

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Pulling tongues out

FBI and NYPD are pissing in the wind while trying to put an end to the illegal fentanyl trade organized by Polish mafia in New York. Pete Koslow (Joel Kinnaman) is caught in a crossfire from all sides. It's a shitty situation, but miles away from the ludicrous story that wouldn't survive even a minute in a real world.

Thursday, July 16, 2020

Domestic struggles and joys

A rather brilliant story of four sisters and their passion for literature, art, music and acting. Normally I'd throw these kind of movies to the wolves, but heard some good things about it, so gave it a go. Saoirse Ronan, Emma Watson, Florence Pugh and Eliza Scanlen all dazzle as lovely little angels. Despite a fair share of sorrow, one of the best feelgood movies of the year.

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Rich people are naive

Family Ki are proper shitheads. They are desperately poor and lazy cunts, however ingeniously infiltrate into the vicinity of a wealthy family and their home that helds a pretty ghastly secret. This fucker - Parasite - has won awards everywhere. A refreshing cut to the world of cinema, and it's a fun crazy story, but in all honesty, I'd handed the Academy Award to either The Irishman, Joker or Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, so it's not as mindblowing as advertised.

Monday, July 06, 2020

Dogs on the leash


Ken Loach has done quite a lot of these movies where a working class family copes with the perfect yet brutal everydayness. Ricky is a delivery driver and Abbie is a home care nurse, both working 14 hours a day to feed their children and make do. It's all hardship. Great emotional drama.

Sunday, July 05, 2020

See you at the next funeral

Japan are eager to become a world power. The attack on Pearl Harbor, the battle of Midway and American patriotism puffed up into one big humbug. What to expect, it's a Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Patriot) movie, it tries to be bigger and better, but everything looks plastic and fake.

Thursday, July 02, 2020

Everything stays in the family

A soldier with a little decency left, above the macho bullshit of the rest of his squad, suspects something's not right in the deaths of a few Afghan people, soldiers and otherwise. His commanding officer simply puts "We kill people, that's what we do", but are they guilty of a war crime? Based on true events, below average garbage and little of the war itself.

Just saw the arms apart

A couple moves to the peace of the countryside, but they encounter nightmarish unnatural forces. Makes  a pretty fun and creepy body horror ...