There is no way to say goodbye

I guess even the film makers got so bored with this movie that they happily walked out of the project after 70 minutes. It was going nowhere and it wasn't getting any better, so why not just end it. A lukewarm buddy comedy at best.

They listen to toilet bowls these days

Four Finnish men, and a pig, celebrate Christmas in the middle of a summer. It includes male nudity, stiff drinks and an innovative makeshift sauna. Nothing can go wrong. Directed by Jari Halonen, starring Jorma Tommila, Oiva Lohtander, Rauno Juvonen, Antti Reini and Pötsi (the pig).

When everyone runs from the fire, you run to it

It's Speed (1994) and Phone Booth (2002) all over again, only worse. Matt Turner and his kids are inside a car that's booby-trapped with explosives! If they try to escape from the vehicle they are blown to kingdom come! It's kind of exciting silly little thriller, but plotholed to death.

Happiness in abandoned times

A street-wise kid Hamster wants to be the next Hunter S. Thompson and write stories that are flashworthy and cool. He interviews and befriends a village idiot Max Fist who claims to be a superhero from an another dimension called Chronium and who is without his cosmic powers because the sources are left behind his own universe and cosmic tendrils of time. Archenemy is an indie bit that started out great, but struggled with its slow pacing.

Cosmic luck for losers

He's good at executing action, the Finnish director Renny Harlin. But recent years everything that's thrown his way, he can't handle. The Bricklayer's action bits, fights mostly, little shooting, it seems effortless and kind of cool. The story is disheveled shit, not only lacks motive and logic, its dialogue is a shit-show. A fucking mess.

Infected with humanity

Season # 1 of Chris Sheridan's Resident Alien. Just about the funniest shit in the neighborhood right now. Alan Tyduk (best known from Tucker and Dale vs Evil) is downright amazing as an alien taking a human form in small-town of Patience, Colorado, as his spacecraft crash-lands on his mission to wipe out human civilization. He takes on the identity of Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle, whom he killed upon encountering, and works as a town doctor thence putting him in constant contact with the folks in town. Resident Alien is groovy wholehearted entertainment and guaranteed to make you laugh.

The last retch for the hordes without mercy

Set in the late 1970s Barcelona Modelo Prison where inmates were constantly being brutally beaten and battered. They finally mustered up courage to revolt and claim for amnesty, but back then, under the iron claws of the Francoist Regime, the Spanish penitentiary system was an excruciating and grim affair. Modelo 77’s (Prison 77) plot is inspired by the real attempted prison break attempted by 45 inmates, and it’s a rather gripping prison drama.

Morning light goes nowhere

It's either the lack of chemistry between the lead actors Madeline Zima and Joel David Moore, or the scripted bullshit that's force-fed into their mouths, that ruin this perfectly average rom-com. Their characters are stuck in a traffic jam after a one night stand. And it's annoying to watch.

Ghosts of the blazing Sun

There's animosity between the original villagers and a French family in a remote rural part of Galicia, Spain. Resentment, xenophobia and tensions simmer until ending in a shocking outcome. As Bestas, by Rodrigo Sorogoyen, is definitely a slow burner film, but you are succumbed into its absorbing atmosphere. Incredible piece of work.

It's just programming

Robots took over the world. Humans are taking it back. However, AI’s last stand is in New Asia and they’re about to launch a new war. The people of the west need to eradicate AI and find its source, codename Nirmata, before the end of human civilization. The Creator is popcorn entertainment, it’s visually impressive and looks damn amazing, but the movie could have been so much more if the story was more engaging and thought-out.

Subpoenaed six feet under ground

Mildred Gillars was known as Axis Sally. She was an American broadcaster employed by Nazi Germany to spread propaganda during World War II. Thus she was part of the war machine of the Third Reich. American Traitor follows her capture in post-war Berlin and her trial on charges of aiding the German war effort in the United States. Nothing special as a movie, but there's the historic interest and, as often, Al Pacino in a standout performance.

The lord of death

Raeford Morton Renfield is Count Dracula's servant. After their adventures in the old Europe, they're now residing in New Orleans hoping for improvement to their lives. With a little difference. Renfield hopes his normal life back and a feeling of belonging to the world. Count Dracula wants world domination. Renfield, by Chris Mckay, is utterly funny take on the characters Bram Stoker created. Nicolas Cage shines as the prince of Wallachia and the movie is just brilliant bloody good time. 

Face in the war machine

In Jordan, there's a secret facility for terrorists. Bad people are locked up and interrogated there. When the place in infiltrated, it becomes even worse. Luckily the system is built up so amazingly that it explodes two hours after its security is breached. Abigail "Abby" Trent (Michelle Monaghan) is the master hunter and Hatchet (Jason Clarke) is the hunted and they have a gunfight in the bunkers. Black Site is some next level espionage shit, but clichéd, loopholed and generic to no end.

Sailors of the last hour

The Rebels of PT-218 is a movie where nothing works. Not a single thing. The actors, they’re all shite. Cinematography is a humbug mess. It's on the low end of B grade movies. Absolute good-for-nothing.

Steadfast as the stars

A 1939 film directed by William A. Wellman. Starring Gary Cooper, Ray Milland, Robert Preston, Brian Donlevy and Susan Hayward. Three brothers, who fifteen years earlier were suspected of a jewel thief, join French Foreign Legionnaires and they are up against the disciplinary rules, attacks by Tuaregs and the desert heat. Even by today’s standards, Beau Geste is a solid adventure piece.

A prophecy of heart-shaped world

It's dark and violent, but still smiling on the inside. A little thing, like a wee girl wanting a blue bicycle instead of a red, escalates into a violent confrontation of a criminal motorcycle gang and an army officer with bunch of offbeat scientists for a company. Riders of Justice (Retfærdighedens ryttere), by Anders Thomas Jensen, is an action-packed Danish revenge movie and underneath its straight-forward rumble is a more emotional and humorous tone.