A faint scent of longing and regret

This satire or dark comedy horror film is pretty bonkers. There's an exclusive restaurant on a private island owned and operated by celebrity chef Julian Slowik (Ralph Fiennes) who intends to kill a group of carefully selected diners before the night is out. An added surprise on the menu is that one guests - Margot (Anya Taylor-Joy) - wasn't on the list. Wonderful atmospheric, suspenseful and claustrophobic thrills.

A ghost in the water

If Renny Harlin's The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) has aged exceptionally well, the same can be said of What Lies Beneath by Robert Zemeckis, released in 2000. It's a creepy thriller of a wealthy middle-aged couple in middle of a modern-day ghost story. It's a suspenseful and mightily scary movie. A damn entertaining piece.

Black void known as death

Of course this is stupid as shit as is the rest of the Murderville crap, but humour based on improvisation can be the coolest comedy. Jason Bateman and Maya Rudolph are called on a murder investigation as trainees. They have to solve who killed Santa. With Will Arnett, portraying detective Terry Seattle, they break characters and have a laugh. It's goofy innocent fun.

Die screaming motherfucker

Blown away. It's maybe two decades the last time I saw Renny Harlin's The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) and, damn, ain't it still the coolest thing. A great action film, no cheap punches, pure and brutal entertainment, a high octane thriller that hasn't aged a day since its release.

Blessed by the freedom of tomorrow

Marcel Marx (André Wilms) is devoted to protect an immigrant boy Idrissa Saleh (Blondin Miguel). With the help of local people, his friends, shopkeepers and restaurateurs he intends to get the kid the hell out of Le Havre (a port city in the Normandy region of northern France) and its uptight authorities. Aki Kaurismäki's laconic film making knows no equal, the art resides in its quiet and sometimes awkward parts, and you can easily succumb into its almost dreamlike reality. André Wilms died this year.

Lie for the truth

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery, by Rian Johnson, is like a puzzle wrapped in a thriller. Unfortunately, it ain't half as funny as its predecessor, but an entertaining enough a piece of the rise and fall billionaire Miles Bron. Daniel Craig and Edward Norton are both on fire, but Janelle Monáe steals the show really. Still, a tad disappointing.

A stain in a dying world

Kind of knew this was poor, but decided to torture myself anyways. Covid 19 has fucked the world to shit, all the imbeciles are alive, one girl is supposedly immune to the disease and that makes her a target. Bad people want to hunt her down and good people protect her. And it's a cliché-ridden fuckery and mistakes are everywhere every fucking minute. The Survivalist, by John Keeyes, is beyond shit.

The great hunt of nighttime generation

Movie producer Max Barber (Robert DeNiro) is shooting a movie with an old western star Duke Montana (Tommy Lee Jones), but his true intention is an accident in a scene, so he can collect the insurance money. Duke Montana is a son of a bitch to kill though. Comeback Trail by George Gallo is pretty cool. Only when the slapstick gear kicks in it can be infantile and downright stupid, but otherwise it's an entertaining and pleasant comedy. A well deserved addition to the list of movies about movie making (Get Shorty, The Player, State & Main, Shadow of the Vampire, Boogie Nights and Living in Oblivion).

The white sail on the lake

Roman Polanski's debut full-lenght movie is tagged as a psychological thriller. It hasn't all too well. At least all the thrills are gone. Maybe people find artistic integrity in its minimalism, free-flowing cinematography, the soundtrack (by Krzysztof Komeda) and the quiet moments, but as easily you can just ignore them.

Carved in stone

Troll movies are cool. André Øvredal's Trollhunter (2010) is my favourite. This one follows close behind. It doesn't take itself too seriously, there's stupid humour in appropriate doses. It's fun and entertaining. Great visually, too. Serious troll movies aren't so cool.

If the shortcut was a shortcut

Four British buddies hike in Sweden and are mightily scared of the forests! There's a menacing presence there stalking them! Stuff of nightmares. It's good old-fashioned survival horror where the characters are never safe and oblivious what the fuck is scaring their tits out. Directed by David Bruckner, based on an Adam Nevill novel.

Same grift different threads

Visually, just absolutely stunning. Otherwise, lots of the material should just have been left on the floor of the editing room. The story of a mentalist and a con artist with a secret could quite well be told with lesser scenes and minutes. Nicely, the cast just got bigger and better towards the end. Starring Bradley Cooper, Toni Collette, Willem Dafoe, Rooney Mara, Ron Pearlman, David Strathairn, Holt McCallany, Cate Blanchett and Richard Jenkins.

It tastes like almond

Looks like Hitchcock, writes like Christie. Komisario Palmun erehdys (Inspector Palmu's Mistake), directed by Matti Kassila, based on a Mika Waltari novel, is a masterpiece. Often voted the best Finnish film of all time. A whodunnit murder mystery from 1960.

The dawn was grey

Funny how a little Swedish romantic drama can be so captivating. The story ain't nothing out of ordinary either. Karin's husband is a schmuck, she comes across a chef Henrik and falls in love with him. If it weren't for the wonderful chemistry between Marie Richardson and Peter Stormare, the movie wouldn't be quite much of anything. Edited, it could be like a segment in Love Actually. The ending is so damn syrupy that it screams Swedish happiness like hell.

Just one big happy Zamundian-American aristocratic

Prince Akeem goes to America to retrieve the bastard son he never knew he had, so the kingdom can have a heir to the throne. Coming to America was released already in 1988 and conveniently the major bulk of the cast (Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, Shari Headley, James Earl Jones, John Amos, Paul Bates, Vanessa Bell Calloway, Louie Anderson) appears in the predecessor as well. Unfortunately eighties sense of humour and the feeling of them times too.

Anarchy of the blind

Zone 414 is a city of robots where humans go to fulfill their pleasures. One resident however ain't happy with her life as a programmable machine. Or the fact that she receives death threats. She's very afraid. Luckily she teams up with a human detective (Guy Pearce) on a missing person case. It's no secret Andrew Braid's Zone 414 tries to be the next Blade Runner (1982) and Guy Pearce enjoys pissing on his career.

The cruelest torture to imagine

Pretty good. And creepy. The story of an adopted child goes horribly wrong. A horror movie executed amazingly without the entities beyond the laws of nature, the story is entangled in tension and suspense only. 

The road of last goodbyes

It's exactly like John Krasinki's A Quite Place, only much much worse. So many things ridiculously wrong in the plot. You get lightheaded just spotting them, but it's pretty entertaining all the same.

In unexplored realms of night to hide

A kidnapping case in Scotland. A helpless father is searching his son. Brian Goodman's Last Seen Alive still fresh in the memory and this is pretty much on the same ballpark. Logic is nowhere in sight, loose ends are endless and things happen solely for the benefit of the fabricated excitement.

The bones lie whitening

Just absolutely nothing happening in the 1971 western The Hired Hand. High plains drifter Harry Collings (Peter Fonda) returns home to become a family man. Arch Harris (Warren Oates) is his best friend and Hannah Collings (Verna Bloom) his wife. Probably the most boring western movie I've ever seen. Should have fast-forwarded this little piece of shit. Directed by Peter Fonda.