That little fucker is unkillable

Obviously the sequel to The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017). Desperately tries to be hilarious, but ultimately fails. Cheap jokes everywhere and it's guns blazing all the time, action without purpose, waste of everyone's time.

Speak for the dead

After Hollywood, Finnish director Renny Harlin did a brief tour in Hong Kong and China. Bodies at Rest is his last film of that stint. Set in a morgue where, in a nutshell, gun-wielding maniacs want to dig out a bullet from one of their victims. Nothing overly special, a bit messy story, but rather fun and thrilling entertainment.

Wish upon a star

Seems like a well-crafted story of a father, mother and daughter. The father is a health inspector, the mom is dead and the daughter is in jail. Little golden nuggets are unfolding here and there as we observe their past, but in the end the film thoroughly disappoints with its unanswered questions. David Thewlis still steals the show. Directed by Atom Egoyan (Remember).

Creatures who suck the blood of the living

The flamboyant Count comes to England because he has purchased a derelict old castle. And he lusts for fresh and delicious British blood of course. To be honest, I didn't know the existence of this Dracula movie even though there are lots of heavyweights in the cast; Frank Langella as Count Dracula, Laurence Olivier as professor Abraham Van Helsing and Donald Pleasance as Dr. Jack Seward. Directed by John Badham in 1979. Not particularly outstanding adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel, but a visually atmospheric little horror tale.

Sorry that everything went to shit

Mel (Celeste M Cooper) likes to run in the woods. Long distances. Ultra style. She's geared up, but when couple of desperate sons of bitches come her way, a trek in the forest turns into a struggle for survival. After initial shock, Mel is up for a revenge. And it's Rambo time. But in the end makes a shit survival/revenge flick.

God, land, oil

They are a rough bunch. Vinnie Jones, Ron Perlman, Malcolm McDowell and Bruce McGill on the same movie. But the fun ends there. One drunken night in a bar between shady American and British businessmen turns ugly. So ugly that it causes serious malfunction in the joint enterprise. Straight to DVD crime film garbage.

In the golden lightning of the sunken sun

They are trapped on a beach that is aging people at rapid rate. 60 minutes is 2 years, so you age almost 50 years in one day. Not a particularly good spot to spend your vacation. But you can't get out either. You can't swim or walk out. You try, you pass out. Quite a deliciously horrifying story and a few rather breath-taking and clever momets in it too, but too much to chew on. Bunch of shit actors to boot. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

We are on a bull run

"In the coldest regions of North America, drivers traverse man-made roads over frozen rivers, lakes and oceans of ice less than 30 inches thick in 65,000 LB. vehicles. These treks are dangerous and often fatal. Some drivers describe them as suicide missions." Thus begins The Ice Road by Jonathan Hensleigh. The story is pretty simple. Wellheads must be delivered far north through ice roads so they can save bunch of trapped miners. Mike McCann (Liam Neeson) leads truckers on a dangerous rescue mission on ice. Corny, clichéd and flawed to the hell and back.

Getting discombobulated

I'm glad it's on Netflix now, makes things much easier. Season 3 is probably the most groundbreaking of all Seinfeld seasons with classic episodes such as The Pen, The Library, The Parking Garage, The Keys, The Pez Dispenser and - probably my alltime favourite - The Limo.

More like a farewell than a reunion

Timo is a loner. A misfit. He invites couple of his childhood friends to pay him a visit in his ramshacle farm. During his lonesome years Timo has been making movies and losing his marbles a bit. Like he puts it, he's been having strange sensations and his thoughts and feelings aren't healthy. When the old friends reunite, old grudges flare up. A ruthlessly underground arthouse thriller, at times annoying but strangely captivating nevertheless.

The heels of the corpse had turned blue

A stalker they thought was dead follows a newswoman to a remote mountain resort where she's at because of her past horrors. Things get shittier and more dangerous though because the stalker has turned into a werewolf and the other residents in the resort are a tad strange too. Cult horror from 1981, directed by Joe Dante.

If you fuck an angel, elephants rape you in hell

A young woman who lost her parents seeks vengeance and hires professional killers to eliminate the murderers. Pretty simple shit. Gets a bit bizarre because the story has a dentist who is writing the same script that unfolds together with it. Anyways, it's weird and mesmerizing and outstanding. Set in anarchic Berlin. Really quite good despite zero budget.

Just the orgasm speaking

If this was, say, an American or British TV film series, it was a hopelessly average crime drama. Being Australian, it's a down-to-earth and laid-back crime series and really quite funny. The story isn't nothing remarkable, missing people, drugs involved, a few deaths, but it's nevertheless entertaining.

Weapons capable of wiping out humanity

An ordinary businessman is caught up in a middle of Cold War and the brink of thermonuclear warfare. In the dangerous world of spies where things can go sideways in a blink of an eye, he's perhaps not the right man for the job, but he still could save the world from total annihilation as the Soviets and the Yankees are threatening to shoot rockets back and forth like there was no tomorrow! A stylish and in the end pretty grim espionage thriller based on a true story.

First kiss is magic

Four high school teachers find out that they are at their educative best when they are inebriated. They follow the footsteps of the great masters Hemingway, Churchill, Roosevelt, Jeltsin and the theory of psychiatrist Finn Skårderud that humans are born with a blood alcohol content deficiency of 0.05%. Nothing can go wrong. Outstanding tragicomic feast by Thomas Vinterberg. Could quite well be the best movie of 2021.

Future legends on a clear day

Winston Churchill has asked to create a secret army of spies. The first field agents are women and they are sent to nazi-occupied France to gather information and help out La Résistance. The slow-moving cliched war drama is unsuspenseful and it looks cheap and hopelessly amateurish.

The dandelions still wet with morning dew

Liam Neeson is a recovering alcoholic and a former cop Matthew Scudder, a famous private investigator from Lawrence Block's novels. He's investigating cases where sick fucks pick women off the streets of New York City only to demand ransom and chop them to pieces. A dark thriller of a downbeat detective. Liam Neeson is his usual cool self and, curiously enough, David Harbour (Stranger Things, Hellboy) in a role we're not used seeing him.

Enemies of the state

Local police do what they can in the troubled hoods of Malmö, Sweden, where thefts and rapes and killings are aplenty. An excellent series - translates to Thin Blue Line - of the men and women in blue in the turmoil of society and coming to terms with their personal lives in a city almost engulfed in flames.

Normal people kill people

I'm currently reading John E. Douglas and Mark Olshaker's book The Killer Across the Table, based on the true stories of FBI criminal profilers unlocking the secrets of serial killers. It inspired Joe Penhall to produce Mindhunter, the acclaimed TV Series. No Man of God is based on real life transcripts selected from conversations between serial killer Ted Bundy and FBI Special Agent Bill Hagmaier. It's on the same ballpark, but even if it starts out interesting, there's hardly any competition. Luke Kirby is great as Theodore Bundy though.

Old but still running

There's a new drug. Hylophedrine. Street name: Hype. It's addictive as shit. Streets are filled up with junkies. The city looks like a warzone. A group of friends, war veterans, has barricaded themselves inside a pub named VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) and try to prevent druggies who look like an army of the undead entering into the establishment. Looks like a bad slasher movie from the 80s and they most likely want it that way. Stephen Lang, Fred Williamson, William Sadler, David Patrick Kelly, George Wendt and others having a blast.

Pay the devil's due

They are investigating the disappearance of a swim coach whose accused of child molestation. A veteran detective (Ulrich Thomsen) who is fighting with his own demons is on the case. And he finds out that the case thickens to crime including Albanian mafia, corrupt officials and fabricated beneficence. Trademark Scandinavian crime, quite boringly so, based on a Jussi Adler-Olsen novel.

Too old to run

One of the best action films of recent years. Masterfully executed full-blown frenzy involving gangsters and cops and violence. An edge-on-the-seat thriller and, alongside Taken, the most entertaining of Liam Neeson's tough guy flicks. Albeit on the masculine side, a great cast of Liam Neeson, Ed Harris, Joel Kinnaman, Vincent D'Onofrio, Bruce McGill, Common, Holt McCallany and Nick Nolte.

Sunshine beyond the sea

These creatures are blind and they attack anything that makes a noise. They are super-deadly sons of bitches. Humans have to be really quiet to survive, co-existing with those fuckers is impossible and you have to be extra imaginative to fight against them. The sequel to Quiet Place (2018) and it's groovy horror in the Last of Us and Alien territory. Directed by John Krasinski.

Racial equality among muggers

I just finished reading Brian Garfield's novel Death Wish (1972), so of course I had to see the original movie, Michael Winner's Death Wish (1974). I don't necessarily have the patience to watch the few sequals - also starring Charles Bronson - let alone the Bruce Willis remake, but this truly is a great film where we follow a development engineer Paul Kersey getting tired of the scum and the filth of New York City.

Heroes are necessary

At first, it felt like an offbeat teenage comedy. And I also thought of quitting it because the lead character, Scott (Pete Davidson), a deadbeat, was like an annoying little fucker. But The King of Staten Island grew on me, it's a decent coming-of-age drama. Directed by Jude Apatow.

Dig up dirt

Cassandra (Carey Mulligan) is thorough with her hatred against a man - and the people like him - who hurt his friend seven years ago. She's obsessed with her vendetta, leaves no stone unturned until she gets the day of reckoning. Just about a perfect revenge flick. Somewhat different than the rest, a thought-out and startling little thing and almost a pretty cool and funny love story on the side. I expected nothing of the film, but it's easily one of the best this year.

Pull the trigger before the waterworks begin

Hutch Mansell is a nine-to-five working man, nothing out of ordinary, like the rest of us. He used to be a Nobody, an auditer for three letter companies and, when needed, he is full of explosive action. That piece of him is triggered by Yulian, a ruthless babysitter of Obstshak, pension fund of Russian mob. The movie is crazy and wild, extremely well made, lots of action, bodycount is numerous, a John Wick rip-off really, only funnier. Cool cast of Bob Odenkirk, Christopher Lloyd, Michael Ironside and Connie Nielsen.

The evening news with blood

Federal air marshal Bill Marks has his hands full when everyone thinks he is a terrorist. Whereas he, in fact, is the one who negotiates with the real terrorist threatening to kill the passangers on a transatlantic flight one by one. Like the marshal puts it, situation is quite complicated. An edge of seat thriller, a fun entertaining ride. Liam Neeson is more than the updated version of Steven Seagal.

Live safely for one more day

The two biggest nuclear accidents are the Chernobyl disaster in 1986, caused by human error and negligence, and the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear disaster in 2011, caused by natural causes, triggered by earthquake and tsunami. Both filmed recently. The first, an acclaimed, truly incredible mini series Chernobyl (2019) by Craig Mazin. And the latter Fukushima by Setsurô Wakamatsu and it's not an excellent film, but at least it's informative what took place in that awful day 11 March 2011.

Accept the existence of the devil

Some sort of demonic entity enters the bodies of human beings and make them do horrendous things. The fucker must be summoned through exorcism and thrown to hell. Not entirely sure, but don't think The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It differs of its predecessors, The Conjuring franchise, or all the other similar movies since William Friedkin's The Exorcist (1973). A few jump scares, but a mess of a story of the same lie that the movie is based on a true story.

The rich really are different

Little does she now, the bride, that an initiation to an extremely wealthy family is a game. To her misfortune, it's Hide and Seek that is all too real. The rules are simple. You hide or you die. So better hide good. A horror comedy of survival and it's pretty fantastic and groovy.

A trail of shit

The adventures of Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole. Two sick fucks - serial killers - who indulged in several murderous rampages somewhere around Florida in the early Eighties. Together or solo, they liked to kill, found insatiable pleasure in it. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) hasn't lost none of its video nasty appeal, lots of the story of the true characters is fictionalized, but it's still quite impressive.

The place hates you back

A pretty intense thriller of mafia henchmen wiping out people they are paid to execute and a group of fire fighters and sheriff deputies are trying to figure out what the heck is going on. It's wicked and action-packed, but it's also hopelessly fucking loopholed and full of downright naive mistakes. Entertaining, but an extremely badly written movie. Angelina Jolie, Nicholas Hoult, Jon Bernthal and Aidan Gillen starring.

Existence is futile

The sky could have been the limit for Jere Karalahti, an ice hockey player. Talented as fuck, but essentially an asshole who wasted his talent on booze and drugs. He kind of wanted to be the rock'n'roll outlaw of ice hockey. Blew almost everything away, his own life included. Loving dad though.

Standing and peeing is kind of rad

Serial killer The Butcher changes identities with one of his victims and that's the general idea of the slasher comedy Freaky. It truly is funny and hilarious, deliciously bloody, Kathryn Newton and Vince Vaughn are brilliant in the lead, but the genre is pretty unforgiving. It's merely throwaway popcorn cinema and doesn't give a lasting experience.

Don't start what you can't finish

Ordinarily the leisurely pace of this movie would have scared me away. But I kept going because the charismas of Kevin Costner and Diane Lane kept the movie going. They are George and Margaret, grandparents to Jimmy, who they desperately want to see and save from a monster of a family. An emotionally charged drama thriller gradually built up towards explosive ending.

Doing something great is overrated

Funny thing with these mini series. You put the DVD into the player and it gets you in for a ride and before you know it, you've finished the fucking thing. Mare of Easttown - 7 episodes and something like 7 hours total - I binge-watched it and it's as excellent as everyone says it is.

The myths are real

They need to harvest energy from the Hollow Earth to fight against Godzilla who has behaved like shit recently. But to actually kill the gigantic beast you need something that matches its size. And that's when King Kong comes to play because Kong bows to no one except for a little deaf girl Jia. A shit for brains adventure and entertainment where the computer generated creatures expressed emotions far better than the human actors.

He's a dark fucking spirit

Guy Ritchie is out there. On the very top. With people like Quentin Tarantino, Denis Villeneuve and Martin Scorsese. The big league of contemporary film directors. They hardly ever disappoint. And that's why you always got to see their films. Wrath of Man prob'ly ain't Guy Ritchie's best piece. But it's truly fucking good. A proper action thriller of bunch of armed car robbers. It's surprisingly serious, the trademark Guy Ritchie black humour is all gone, but I reckon it's intentional. Jason Statham on the lead.

Seriously fucking yolo

Trevor travels through time, but he can't control it. Every few minute he travels one year ahead. A bit hard explaining it to your wife and the daughter you didn't know you had. An Australian romantic comedy with a serious undertone gnaws the old Groundhog Day (1993) bone, rather nicely at that but used all its ammo in the first 30 minutes.

Moomins don't dance

It's like Dome Karukoski's Tolkien (2019). A biobic of an artist. I'm not familiar with the works of Tove Jansson - moomins in particular. But when done properly, these things are educative fuckers and fun to watch.

More cynical, more bitter, more jaded

It seems I'm currently watching two greatest long-standing comedy series of all time. Seinfeld and Trailer Park Boys. The former I've seen countless of times and the latter for the first time. Perhaps too early to tell yet, but I reckon nothing match their brilliance. Season 2 of Seinfeld with classic episodes such as The Chinese Restaurant, The Jacket and The Pony Remark.

Unleash shit tsunami

Trailer Park Boys season 4. Just too much fun, so much so in fact that I don't want to binge-watch the entire series in a matter of days and ruin the appetite. Probably the best entertainment I've discovered in 2021.

A siren from the deep

I always knew I'd want to see The Night Of mini series again. It's full of outstanding courtroom drama, the hardship of prison life, deductive reasonings, one solid suspense of grisly murder and innuendos and what ifs for good measure. And it's seriously good, a catching story, brilliant characters, exciting to the very end. 9 episodes and 8 hours 45 minutes - watched it in one day.

You don't need a history to have a future

A soldier gets a second change in life. He is killed, but thanks to science he comes back resurrected, improved and enchanced. He's now a robot really, a super-computer and indestructible soldier in flesh, blood and some badass nanotechnology. To avenge the death of his wife is the first agenda, but ends up a pawn between scientists power struggle. A techno thriller in every sense of the word, humbug shit really, but pretty well done.

No puffs. Just flakes.

As of late I've watched a lot of scenes of Seinfeld on Youtube and kind of craved back to see full episodes. The first season which right now is 32 years old. Yet it's still the best show on television.

Bring me people to kill

The world's greatest manhunt. The events and days the led to the capture - and death - of the most notorious terrorist Osama Bin Laden. Without too much bigotry, propaganda and patriotism Kathryn Bigelow made this exciting thriller in 2012.

Little too heavy on the booze

Season 3 of the Trailer Park Boys. First thing I noticed is the obvious budget increase. It still looks homemade and trashy trailer park material, but somehow it's more radiant now. And it's still phenomenally good and a brilliant entity of its own. Includes a cool episode - "Closer to the Heart" - involving a Rush concert and starring Alex Lifeson, the guitar player and a big fan of the show.

A man who is lying will eventually change his story

A little car accident, followed by a coma for four days and the guy's life has gone totally upside down. His wife doesn't remember him, no one else either, as if the collective memory of the world have forgotten him. Fucking not cool as paranoia sets in. He needs the help from the former officer of the Stasi to convince him that he is he. Truly an interesting plot. Flawed, as usually is the case with these kind of films, but a proper intriguing multi-layered mystery and it's technically perfect action.

Through denial and error

These hillbilly thugs are just tremendously funny. It's season 2 of the Trailer Park Boys and it's something else. You get absorbed in its originality (there's nothing close to it really), the weird yet loveable characters, the incorrectness, the dialogue and laughs. Can't think of better entertainment right now.