No more tactics and tricks

Just repulsively bad. Dumped so full of shitty acting that it overshadows the pompous story that is totally devoid of anything but battle and unintentionally funny motivational battle speeches. Pathetic.

Racing down the mountain

A very cheap and amateurish-looking documentary of global warming and the hunt of the culprits. I've seen these (only better) before and I've read about it in volumes, but nothing - meaningful actions - ever happens. We're doomed, see you all under water.

Ability to evoke humanity

Some people, within the frame of one single photograph, can tell a thousand different stories. James Nacthwey - with his powerful pictures of war, poverty and utter starvation - is one of those people.

Mankind must end

Environmental pro-religion crap. I was in high hopes and expectations of this, but they were totally crushed and annihilated. Despite the stone giants a.k.a. Watchers (unintentionally funny fuckers) and the great flood and animals and thousands of millions of dollars and what-not, Noah is one hell of a boring film.

Günther was slayed in the catacombs

The actors are dead-on hilarious, suberb fuckin job from people like Ralph Fiennes, Harvey Keitel, Edward Norton and hundreds of others. And it's a funny story, breakneck speed comedy that probably requires multiple viewings to fully comprehend and catch everything. In other words, trademark Wes Anderson. I prefer Tod Solonz though.

Sacrificed for opulence

'Finland's Trainspotting' says the DVD cover. 'Finland's fucking shit' says me.

Feed your souls on the bread of life

A family get-together and there're killers in disguise on the loose. Right there in the The Stranger, Scream and Funny Games ballpark. Liked it just fine.

Socially accepted insanity

A man (Joaquin Phoenix) falls in love with an operating system (the voice of Scarlett Johansson). And vice versa. The real funny and absurd shit starts when the human starts to get to the operating system's nerves ("I need some time to think"), when o.s. begins to resemble an actual woman, showing human emotions, even wanting to meet other humans or, in fact, operating systems. Yes, it's a Spike Jonze picture alright, bits of Being John Malkovich brilliancy, funny as fuck.

Great colts come from great sires

So fucking Disney. It's almost disgusting - the happiness, the smiles, the lack of horror & torture - as it's embarrassing, but every once in a while you can deal with it and pretend to cry the tears of joy.

Justice in the rainbow nation

Violence and drug use are out of control in Cape Town, South Africa, and booze-loving carefree cop Orlando Bloom and workaholic officer of the law Forest Whitaker have come into rescue. Spoke they English of sort or Afrikaans or not, it does not hide the bullshit dialogue in the script. Otherwise, almost alright.

The power of human will

One of the funniest novels in years is adapted amazingly well. A hundred year old Allan Karlsson, a booze-ridden pensioner reminiscences his life with people like Truman, Stalin, Oppenheimer and Franco. Swedish cinema at its finest.

A debauchery of killers

A Scottish answer to the likes of Hostel and Saw and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Beautiful scenary thereabouts, but just utterly useless to waste a word more to this garbage otherwise.

Crocodiles have no lips

I'm a sucker for facts and I want to learn weird shit every day thus I read books like this constantly. I don't collect sports trivia, but unusual things get me hooked. Like;
-Wombats have cubic faeces.
-Octopuses have three hearts.
-Kangaroos have three vaginas.
-The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime.
-More than 7,000 Americans die each year and 1,500,000 are injured as a result of doctors' bad handwriting.
-The human brain takes in 11 million bits of information every second, but is only aware of 40.
-Women buy 80% of everything that is for sale.
-At least 99% of all the species that ever existed have left no trace in the fossil record.
-Jimmy Carter once sent a jacket to the dry cleaner's with the nuclear detonation codes still in the pocket.
-There are ten times as many stars in the known universe as there are grains of sand in the world.
-There is more information in one edition of the New York Times than an average person in 17th-century England would have come across in a lifetime.
-All polar bears are Irish.
-Every human being starts out life as an asshole.
-Loch Ness is deep enough and long enough to contain the entire population of the world ten times over.
-Mushroom are more closely related to human than to plants.
-All blue-eyed people are mutants. The first ones appeared as recently as 5,000 years ago.
-The inventor of 'Best before' dates, originally for milk, was Al Capone.
-More than twice as many people are killed by vending machines as by sharks.
-Humans have been hunter-gatherers for 99% of their history.
-Highways in the western USA are based on the migratory routes of bison.
-Seahorses are the only fish with a neck and the only family of animals where the male give birth.
-Beavers have transparent eyelids so they can see underwater with their eyes shut.
-'Mother-in-law' is an anagram of 'Hitler woman'.
-250,000 birds were killed by the Exxon Valdez oil spill in 1989. About the same number die from crashing into window glass in the US every day.
-There are no rivers in Saudi Arabia.
-Squirrels can remember the hiding places of up to 10,000 nuts.
-Humans kill at least 100 million sharks a year or about 11,000 an hour.
-Two-thirds of the world's population has never seen snow.
-Almost any domestic cat can run faster than Usain Bolt.
-The speed of the wind has fallen by 60% in the last 30 years.
-99% of all the species that have ever lived are now extinct.

Elevator is not good for an alibi

A french film noir classic - Louis Malle's debut Ascenseur pour l'échafaud - from 1958. Sometimes I wonder why in the hell I'm watching these, like an old camel noticing one day that he has a hump in his back.

Not to be meddled with

Too painful to watch. All the concentration camps masqueraded as zoos and sea worlds should be terminated. This is barbarism. Humans are fucking sick.

It is melancholy

The real Oscar fucker this year. Your expectations are so high with these winners and you get all frustrated when you cannot see all the goodness. Maybe because it ain't there. I don't know. It's still solid shit.

Pray for the best

There must be a bar in Hollywood where movie directors meet up, right? And the following text is probably written on the mirror above the fancy men's room's lavatory: 'Unless you are either Martin Scorsese or Peter Jackson, do not make movies that are longer than two hours.' Dennis Villeneuve doesn't go to that bar. Prob'ly tea-slurper, him. Anyways, this could well have been squeezed into fuckin eighty minutes, the lenght only makes the fucker look tv-movish. Not that it was bad, not at all, just saying.

The devil with false modesty

A revised version of the 1976 movie Carrie. Raised by a religious nut of a mom (Julianne Moore) a teenager (Chloe Grace Moretz) is a bit from the wild side, in a vendetta kind of mood and can turn things around in a small American town.

In all matters vampire

The coolest thing of the season six of True Blood is that Rutger Hauer joined in the roster as some kind of superfairy. Shortlived, but he kickstarted the season. Otherwise and compared to the previous seasons, they had simplified the comings and goings of the vampires and shapesifters and werewolves for the better, Sookie Stackhouse was still the house slut and things were terribly bloody.

Down the rabbit hole

Somewhere in the Australian backlands one young lad tries to come to terms with troubled family + neighbours, imbecile school friends and serial kidnapping business. It's not a happy story, pretty heavy one, thence an apt title.

Cancelling the prison dance

As I watched this movie, I couldn't wait it to finish so I could read the '101 things you learned from Escape Plan' on the IMDB forum. It's so full of that shit. Rather watchable, still.

Serial killer ghost on the loose

Quite a curious fucker. Peter Jackson directs and Michael J. Fox stars in this horror comedy that's almost in the ripe age of 20 by now. Goofy and silly, mildly entertaining.

To get million dollars

Well, this is it. Probably - or for argument's sake - most likely, the best movie I have seen this year. I haven't had so much good fun with any of the others. And, hey, it doesn't need much to make a brilliant fucking movie, some good solid acting, apt directing and a script. The leads - Bruce Dern and Will Forte - are great on the road trip of theirs, but June Squibb's character Kate Grant, that's the one to remember.

The real director of life is accident

If there's a role tailored to Jeremy Irons, it's the one right here. A professor who does not sleep well is madly intrigued by a woman with a long red coat and the peculiar book of life and death she is carrying. Thus we travel to the time of revolution which freed Portugal from the dictatorship of Antónia de Oliveira Salazar.

Granny's tired now

Initially I watched this because I saw a Harry Dean Stanton documentary a while ago and he mentioned something about a movie where he acted with his friends Marlon Brando and Jack Nicholson. A nice cast alright and a decent western. Once again I was flabbercasted of Mr. Brando, as he was mental to say the least, I'm sure nothing he said or did or what he wore was scripted. And sure enough, I just read that the director (Arthur Penn) gave up on Marlon Brando after his incessant antics.