The end of a crazy patch

Every movie generation has them, you-know-what-you-get -characters. Jason Statham is one of those people. In Humminbird (also know as Redemption), he's physically and mentally hurt ex-soldier, he's mad-angry, vengeful, tough as nails but righteous and in the end he gets his redemption. The story of his career.

The disruption before abracadabra

This must have been a big budget movie. It certainly looks expensive and it has lots of them well-known fucks. But, god, what an amazing piece of shit. If the crappy world of magic thing and stupendously bad acting (Mark Ruffalo, Michael Kelly, Mélanie Laurent, Dave Franco and the enormously overrated Jesse Eisenberg) weren't enough, the infantile humour and bullshit funny talk made me want to strangle someone.

Turns around the bottle

A low-key drama of a group of people, friends, doing their work (brewery business) and enjoying each others company. Fucklots of nothing happens in the story, just typical bullshit, but it's kinda alright all the same.

The biblical judgement day

This movie has all the 20-something/30-something Hollywood comedians acting "themselves" in a middle of a terrible apocalypse. I'm sure they had a great time.

All that life snatched away

I watched The Lakes twice or thrice back in the day from the telly and loved every minute of it. And now I finally purchased both seasons to myself. Masterminded by Jimmy McGovern (Cracker et al.) and I gotta tell you, the show knows no equal. Well, a sombre more realistic European version of Twin Peaks fits the bill. Twin Peaks had one girl in a lake, whereas The Lakes has three.

Never go to an orgy ass up

Jonas Åkerlund has done off-kilter films (lots of music videos) in the past and this one follows suit. Freakish Franklin Franklin (Matt Lucas) accidentally kills his landlord (Peter Stormare) and a plethora of quirky characters join the party. A rather cool cast of people, including Billy Crystal, Rosie Perez, James Caan, Johnny Knoxville and, last but not least, Dolph Lungren.

Woman in a long red coat

Different breed these 70s horror movies. They're packed with long moody scenes and weird creepiness that crawl under your skin. Don't Look Now - set in Venice, Italy - ain't the highlight of the horror lore, but it's an interesting fucker alright.

American concentration camps

Not bad. As we follow a family of White House's butler with his drunken wife and black panther son, we fly through American history from the 50s to present day. Interesting people portraying the presidents: Robin Williams as Dwight D. Eisenhower, Liev Schreiber as Lyndon B. Johnson, Alan Rickman as Ronald Reagan and John Cusack as Richard Nixon.

Kill the devil as a punishment

A historical satire of a Swedish individual caught in a crossfire by people like Stalin, Truman, Mao, Nixon and the likes. A terrific read, funny as fuck.

Trenches and other broken places

Beat Generation has never been anything I've been particularly interested in. Quite a many movies have been made of the 40's and 50's beatnik poets and authors like Jack Kerouac, William Burroughs and Allen Ginsberg, and here's one more to the pile. It's as disappointing as the others.

Thousand what-if´s

This was amazing (the current 6,3 points on the IMDB scale is bullshit). I imagine they captured brilliantly the chaos following the assassination of president John F. Kennedy in Texas in 1963. Everything was shot in absolute authentic fashion and the strong cast of extraordinarily talented people (Paul Giamatti, Ron Livingston, James Badge Dale, David Harbour, Billy Bob Thornton, Mark Duplass, Colin Hanks and Jacki Weaver) kept the fire alive.

Watch the dust

This is a disaster movie, pretty much like an updated and South Korean version of The Towering Inferno (1974) and it even has reminiscences of the actual events of 9/11. A few hair-raising moments, but otherwise it's a fucking shit movie.

Snotty nosed pricks

The acting was close to superb most of the time, but it's still one hell of a boring film. The story is of a drug world, cops and junkies, death is present, it ain't cheerful shit, but it is possible to make it look interesting. This director made it look fucken boring.

One of the coyotes made love to my skull

To be perfectly honest, had they replaced Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds with Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith and called it MIB, I wouldn't have spotted the difference. I know it ain't fair, but what can you do?

The Da Vinci of death

Red 1 was terrible. I reckon, this is tad better. At best it's a funky and explosive adventure from The States to Paris and Moscow, but even with plethora of superstars (Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Helen Mirren, Anthony Hopkins), it's so fucken easily forgettable.

Feeling of being

A better than average divorce -movie. Poor little Maisie copes with a maze of messy adult relationships, most of all shitty parents. Movie-little-maisies survive these situations, but them millions helpless souls in real life should get all the attention and affection you can muster.

Money laundry midwestern style

Don't bullshit the bullshitter. I smelled the twist millions miles away, excuse me, it was poorly executed. It probably has quite a few deep plotholes that I can't bother to think about. Not The Usual Suspects and Fargo they thought of doing.

All your friends are dead

It perhaps ain't best of the year movie material, but fucken solid and entertaining to watch. Tom Hanks yet again in senior man in distress, and fair enough, his presence makes a long way. Now he is a captain struggling for survival with khat-eating badass Somali pirates.

Close enough to watch him suffer

I like twists alright, but I hate these movies where only halfway to it you're beginning to get a grip what the fuck is the point of all it. You've already begun to question yourself if you had missed something. But otherwise, this was done alrite, a decent thriller that doesn't look like a US movie even it's about New York mafia thugs. It has a nice European thang to it, probably thanks to a Danish director.

Same rule apply

Irvine Welsh's diabolically cool Filth is one of the best novels that I've read. There's not much amiss in the movie, it's quite a controversial scorcher on its own right, but it's a bit messy to be honest. And not to slander James McAvoy, but can't help it how this would have looked with someone like Ewan McGregor - another Scottish lad - in the lead.

Bully kicks midget in face

I have read this illustrated script through a few times, now once more, it's best written funny shit.

Blind ambition

I reckon, they wasted all their money on the heavyweights - Gary Oldman, Harrison Ford and Richard Dreyfus - that in the end all they could afford were shit lead actors (Liam Hemsworth and Amber Heard) and shit IT-thriller of a script.

Just passing through

They were some kind of romantic crap, them previous movies, weren't they? I remember shit. The first 15 minutes of this one Julie Delby and Ethan Hawke talk nonstop in a car and the rest of the movie follow suite.

Sir, we are under attack

Gotta respect Roland Emmerich. He's doin' billions dollars' garbage each year, his movies (Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Independence Day etc.) are essentially shit for brains, full of gaping plotholes and clichés, but you are still nailed to the seat, having a great time, even if you ridicule at lots of the shit you see. White House Down's patriotism pathos at times is so fucking embarrassing that you can't believe it.

The hippo wants a friend

I quite enjoyed. Matt Damon carries a drying rack behind his back and goes to places killing humans and robots to death. Jodie Foster is between two worlds, miscast as fuck.

They are screwing with the wrong people

The headline is what the Rick character said as the final words of the season 4 of The Dead Walking. A bit corny, that, but what the hell I'm all fucken c'mon for the next season.