Through a desert haze

Probably regarded as cult director Aki Kaurismäki's one of the best, but I had somewhat a hard time sitting this through. "Bury my heart at the dump" and other nitty one-liners don't quite cut it.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

When the end credits rolled - apart from being happy it ended - I felt a bit ashamed for the director Brian De Palma. The guy has made so many downright brilliant movies and now, as if Mission to Mars wasn't enough, he has this garbage on his résumé. This was a whole lot of absolutely nothing, an erotic thriller without eroticism and thrills, a mere Roman Polanski and Alfred Hitchcock rip-off at best.

Ask not where the thunder comes

A mixed-classic fairytale, a bunch of great actors (Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Eddie Marsan) and one hell of a director (Bryan Singer). So I don't understand all the negative feedback. I fucken liked what I saw.

Where I come from, I eat places like this for breakfast

Trademark minimalism by Finnish director Aki Kaurismäki. Not among his most famous works, but one of my favourites. Loved the subtle camera work,  the leisurely feeling of everything and the bleak environment (London) the movie was shot in. And the black humour, ah, the black humour.

The grays

More bad than good extraterrestrial horror. Shitloads silly too.

I wonder when the violence starts

For an Aki Kaurismäki movie the humour is surprisingly direct, almost the slapstick kind, but this is still quite an entertaining movie starring a pseudo-russian band Leningrad Cowboys.

Summer wine

Off-kilter horror in the Hitchcock territory. Perhaps played a bit too much on being weird, but strangely captivating nevertheless.

Good year hunting

If you sit down and really think about the concept of this movie you'll realize it's pure genius. A car tire - who has several fans - goes about his business and kills everything that comes its way. He (she? it?) does other things as well - loved the scene where the rubber was thirsty and went to puddle for a drink. For all the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes fans.

Not a fighting kind

The acting performances of these people were so stiff that every once in a while I thought they were made out of wood or plastic, or they were corpses. Awful awful awful. Fucking awful. Wouldn't give medals to the story either, it's a poor-man's Le Carre or something. Mark Wahlberg's face is an emotionless chasm, Catherine Zeta-Jones has been away for so long that she's forgotten her gist. Russell Crowe and Barry Pepper were half asleep.

Aloe Vera be thy name

I think Will Farrell is one of the funniest men alive. His stand-up shows are hilarious, as are all his talk-show appearances and whenever interviewed he's spot-on funny. I wish someone wrote him a good comedy script, a proper comedy script, in the magnitude of Big-Lebowski-proper. Now I only laughed sporadically.

Super-human intellectual carrot

I have to confesss that I didn't know there was Howard Hawk's The Thing (actually directed by Christian Nyby, but who's counting), I have always thought John Carpenter's movie was the original. Sure, this is 'old' thence not really as scary as the Carpenter picture, but not any less interesting. Done in the golden age of movie, it's also a peek into history, cinematic and otherwise.

Muscle memory lasts a long time

Well, Schwarzenegger is back with a bang. Too bad it's not a good movie unless you count two million bullets fired a good movie.

Tonight is not over

One of those movies that you ultimately forget the moment you've finished watching them. Slow-moving relationship drama while at it, but done a million times already thence you don't bother giving a fuck. As a sidenote, it's pretty comical to see how much Sam Worthington struggles with his acting.

The house always wins

Shot exclusively on video cameras. Features six episodes, couple of which are on the Blair Witch Project or Cloverfield ballbark. A few of them make hardly any sense (probably for a reason). At first, I was very dubious of the hand-held footage, but few episodes were in fact quite cool video nasty.

Drunk arrogant scumbag

To begin with, the whole movie was built wrong and as good as an actor Denzel Washington may be, a drunk airline pilot Whip isn't his strongest performance. The funny thing is that the first 30 minutes were almost mesmerizinly good, but, cut like a knife, the movie took a turn into a different direction and the rest (almost two hours) was downright boring.

A lovely piece of hardware

Frank Langella and his pet robot commit crimes. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Scotch not bourbon

And stay down.

Bra strap moves

Goddamn crazy ideas for a movie still seem to spawn by some illogical minds. An entire floor of citizens are being trapped by a sniper and everything is booby-trapped. Besides me, who watches these?

All out of favours

I reckon, this was written by wannabe-badass teenager. Probably the worst cop-talk I have ever heard - and they behave like half-wits, too. Ludicrous acting, even with people like Ray Winstone and Damian Lewis in the ranks. I made a memo that I know to avoid all the Ben Drew -starred movies from now on.

Teethless Melrose Place guy disappeared

A little girl gets possessed by an otherwordly spirit. These fresh new ideas seem to be at every movie you put an eye on these days.

Running out of rope

Political thriller is one of my favourite genres and Bill Nighy, one of the greatest British actors, has participated in quite a many of them. Page 8 is a cool spy thing that emotionally harks back to greatest Eighties espionage thrillers. Not superb, but wholly satisfying.

Hitting rock bottom and not making a change

Art cinema trash or just plain amateur rubbish. Whatever. There are few actors - Malcolm McDowell, John Waters & Traci Lords - who'll do anything for an acting job, but it's still trash and rubbish. Wouldn't even call it a movie, this. Fuck, I hate people who make these shits and hide behind the 'art' factor and god help if you dare to criticize their art. Fuck you.

Incubate and fix the hole

Finnish director Antti Jokinen's debut. If you want to make and break it in Hollywood, I reckon, you have to make it with a fucking bang and not with a predictable generic bullshit. Every rental store has thriller DVDs just like this in millions.

Lost on steroids

The ex-Lost star Matthew Fox is all muscled up here, and they are showing his muscles and non-fat body like our lives were depended on them, but it's just too bad that we also witness that he can't act. And neither does the other guy (some nobody) who plays the smartarse police officer Alex Cross. This movie is just super bad, laughable shit, I'm amazed, total crap times thousand.

This time we'll kill them all

Graphic novels, they never stuck to me, when the childhood was over I dumped them like I dumped my diapers. Every once in a while I however pick one up and give it a quick read and get disappointed. The Walking Dead graphic novel is an exception, but I haven't found any others. Perkeros´music + fantasy thang was a shitty as are them rest.