Chasing shadows

Not saying Daniel Radcliffe did terribly wrong here, but had he been replaced by some unfamiliar face this old-school horror film would have been on a whole different level. Fronted by the marvellously famous Harry Potter superstar kinda takes the scares away.

Victory or death

A story of Field Marshal Erwin Rommel. He was an exceptional war tactic and he was one of the few people in Nazi Germany who had the courage to stand against Adolf Hitler. And ultimately that led to his demise. Anyways, James Mason makes a brilliant role here and the film's quite good too.

Beyond the point of forgiveness

Well fucken good. It - god help us - has Shia LaBeouf, but even he couldn't ruin this movie, only the scenes he was involved in. There should be a law that forbids him from acting. Was it Lars von Trier's movie he's going to fuck up next?

Bughuul eats children

I hate it when the central character is made out to be stupid. This one here (played by Ethan Hawke) talks to himself as if to explain the audience what he's thinking and he prefers walking around in the dark instead of turning on the light. But otherwise, minus the supernatural mumbo-jumbo, this is a creepy enough serial killer movie.

Mortified and stupefied

The last Seinfeld season. And now I just wait for how long does it take until I just gotta start watching the series again. Like I have stated before, best show on television.

Perpetual black terror

Had the makings of a proper traditional horror film - the set-up of an isolated orphan school in the English countryside in 1921 was right on the money - but it really offered nothing but a confusing attempt to combine The Others and The Sixth Sense. Listening to Jean Sibelius's Finlandia during one of the last scenes of the film was the most remarkable thing of them all.

Suspect the worst of everyone

Despicable little piece of unfunny shit. I don't get why it seems to be getting such great reviews pretty much everywhere. It wasn't hilarious, wasn't tragic, wasn't particularly well acted (someone shouted Oscar nominations for fuck's sake). Rubbish, it was.

Smells of lots of fucking bullets

If the story wasn't ultimately piss-poor stupid and ridiculous, this would be one of the coolest revenge films. Kevin Bacon as the vigilante. 

Everyone else is everyone else

Damn decent this, but compared to some other well known movies of WWII concentration camps it doesn't send shivers down your spine. The emotion is lukewarm, at best.

All that glitters is gold

Three guitarists Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin), Edge (U2) and Jack White (The White Stripes, The Raconteurs) talk about their instrumental history. The film is in its most interesting and original phase only when the musicians share the same stage together talking and strumming, but unfortunately that happens ever too rarely because I'd watch that for hours on end. Individually, they aren't directed interestingly.

Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you find anything

Four buddies´picnic trip takes a turn for a worse.

Bearfucker, do you need assistance?

A cult cop comedy if there ever is one. Oftentimes misunderstood, but it's only pseudo-moronic.

Deep down below

My first Jo Nesbo experience. It was enough a ride that I'll hunt down the rest of the Harry Hole thrillers, even though it wasn't such a hell-blazing earth-shattering read as its advertised everywhere. But like I said, good enough.

Burnt offerings

I guess it's bit of a relief not all the Swedish thrillers are prime cuts. Based on a Liza Marklund's novel and I hear there's a platoon of others lurking behind the next corner. Can't say I could hardly wait. About as below average as it can get.

The secrets of the universe

Never liked the MIB series, never laughed at any of the gags of them three movies. Seemingly, I have watched them, but that’s because I’m stupid and I have some faith left. But no, this stuff is not for me. Utterly useless eye candy.

It got serious

Awarded and praised, but I welcomed this only because it's nice to see an Iranian movie for a change. Bits boring.

A street Black Sabbath

A struggle for survival music documentary thing, lotsa like The Story Of Anvil, but this one is done with a shoestring budget and whereas the Canadian chaps were easygoing as fuck, Pentagram's Bobby Liebling, simply put, is a bleak crackhead.

War is hell

Still, beats the living crap out of all the movies and television series and fuckers like that.

A tree is known by its fruit

The only reason I watched this was because it was shot in my neighbourhood and that, of course, makes me a star. The movie is shit.

Only the roads are old

A short film of a Mayan family fishing and living on the sea surrounded by beautiful wilderness (Bancho Chinchorro) and shortly put, there's nothing but fishing and living on the sea, but it was weirdly captivating all the same. As a side note, my cats don't watch much television or films, but one of them sat this one right through, mesmerized, I think that's fucken revealing because he's a smart little creature.

Lunatics don’t need training

Apparently there was (is?) an Ozzy Osbourne column in Rolling Stone magazine where he as Dr. Ozzy answered readers questions on things like sex, death and health. And now it's made out to a book. I reckon, most of the answers were given by his own doctor, his lawyer, assistant and Sharon, but a decent read nevertheless.

Watching disciples of the satanic rule

It's amusing how Sam Dunn and Scott McFadyen kept asking everyone has Grunge anything to do with Metal and everyone said no absolutely not, until someone finally said something along the line that maybe it has something to do with Metal and that was enough to include Grunge to the history of Heavy Metal. Grunge should have been replaced by Death and Black Metal and this would have been - if it ain't already - the best and most definitive Metal documentation ever produced. Of course, some influential bands and subgenres were left out and the Hair Metal and Nu Metal episodes were hair-raisingly embarrassing, but that's just my personal hatred on them. Few interviewees stood out, namely: Bruce Dickinson, Arthur Brown, Steve Harris, Geezer Butler, Ronnie James Dio and, of course, Lemmy.

Giant evil gods

Greatly refreshing stab at horror, quite something different, fantastic evil creeps, funny shit.

Fake fire

Maybe it ain't fair to cut it for a two hour and thensome movie to say it's just a sugarcoated and chaotically directed Hollywood version of Battle Royale, but I don't think it deserves much more.

Karma lurks with sobering consequence

Nothing special this, watchable cop thriller riding The Fugitive coattails, but Éric Cantona is my new favourite French action star since...well, no one.

Earth's mightiest heroes

I don't know. This had like hundreds of thousands of superheroes, but somehow it was boring, it was horribly long, the jokes were lame and it felt that few of the actors were there just for the paycheck. Maybe I didn't watch it the right way, maybe I had a hangover, I don't know.

How rare can blood be?

This modern-day-Peckinpah gives a wrong picture of - I'm quite sure picturesque - Mexico, but I don't care because the movie is great and Mel Gibson, he doesn't care because he's on fire.

The lilies bloom

They made a movie of one of those Olsens whining, screaming and crying her heart out.

Apex predators

Okay, these three Seattle boys find this hole in the ground and there's this glowing alien entity in there and the boys get infected or something, and then they can, like, move objects by thought only and, you know, fly to places. And one of them totally freaks out and the superpower thing ain't so cool - more like frightening! - any longer and all hell breaks loose. Still, it wasn't that bad of a film.

Enough endorsement

"When I became a cop, I had my nerves removed."
"I was born with a gun in my hand."
"That yoghurt-sucking mutant."
"Long live the death penalty."
"I'm not afraid of anything. Except world peace."
Just a few quotes from the king of cool. I reckon - maybe The Office (U.K.) and Seinfeld excluded - I haven't laughed as much with any other sitcom. Still, a fucken much more brainier than generally considered. Utter brilliancy.

Kill die blood

To no offense, but anyone finding this murder dark humour outrageously funny and dead cool, is a stone cold idiot.

Pawsome

I have a soft spot for cats and own a couple myself (they own me, is the appropriate expression), therefore to me a book like this is unputdownable. I found it in a local book store, read a few pages, bought it, walked back home and read it through. That's how good it is.

The glint of light on broken glass

It's not a joke. The Danes, Norwegians and Swedes are doing the best crime fiction right now. Lilyhammer, the Pusher trilogy, Wallander, Jo Nesbø, Arne Dahl, Jens Lapidus, Henning Mankell, Millennium trilogy, Forbrydelsen, etcetera. And Broen is a prime example. Absolutely gripping Scandinavian crime. 

Gay Elvis

Wiseguy Frank Tagliano (Steven van Zandt) in witness protection in rural Lillehammer and, while at it, disarrays the local police force, motorcycle gang and them ordinary folks. His first assignment, if I remember it correctly, was to hunt down a wolf and kill it dead. Wacky fun.

King Kong of Copenhagen

A great - grotesquely brutal - finish to the trilogy. You rarely see criminal underworld depicted so convincingly.

All told, kindness is not fashionable

I don't care much of traditional magicians, but Derren Brown's shows always fucken spellbound me.

When they come for you

Some 80s naivety is there, sure, but other than that this is a surprisingly intense and wicked prison movie.

Hell hath no Führer

Political satire and science movie trash. I was well and truly fucken entertained.

Sardines thrown in to the sea

Kind of a crazy story in this French action thriller, quite too crazy, but the former football Eric Cantona has become a bloody charismatic actor over the years, so didn't mind sitting the film through.

Rides like a wind

There's a picture of Walter Hill on the words "a movie average done" in the dictionary.

The ocean called

I've seen people complaining that the 8th is not on a par with the rest of the Seinfeld seasons, but that's rubbish or at least I saw no difference myself. Funny shit.

The journey from shame to resentment

Very good. Fast-moving mob story with plenty of violence and quite dark humour. Not far from something like The Sopranos. Wasn’t that happy with the structure of the novel, it had too many flashbacks and the whole story was terribly busied from start to finish, but very well worth the read.

Some people deserve to die

They brought the cast of Russell Crowe, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman, Leonardo DiCaprio, Lance Henriksen and Gary Sinise to a western movie set with no other purpose than to play a prolonged gunfight. Sharon Stone's acting was so bad that it was pure comedy.

Make the night as bright as day, and burn, baby, burn!

Well, it looked wonderful, the visuals were alright, I'll give 'em that, but that's it, it ends there, can't for the fuck of it think anything else, I've forgotten everything already.

Remove the head or destroy the brain

Like just about everyone knows, a sort of movie that has funny shit and zombies. Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright haven't done much wrong.

Your habits become your character

To speak the truth, the only intest I had for this was Meryl Streep's performance because it had been praised to hell and back. Early on, it was clear that she does alright, but the movie still is a boring fucker.

That shit eating grin

Was a bit of a fuck, this. There's a quasi-storyline, but nothing's happening. Depicted a small American town in the early Eighties, coulda been the Nineties, present day, whatever, but I put two and two together because they kept yapping about the Falklands War and I'm so fucking clever. Now, I just have to find out what exactly U.S. had to do with the Falklands War - I had thought nothing, but apparently they won that battle too.

Can't throw a disco party

A documentary of a punk band that consists solely of mentally disabled people. Thoughtful and eye-opening Finnish movie that hopefully gets a strong worldwide promotion.

Strange phenomena as unnatural things alive or dead

Wow. Gigantic manslaughtering sugar-thieving mutant ants caused by lingering radioactive by the first atomic bomb have gone absolutely mental! A tough nut to crack to a team of local police, army intelligence, FBI and scientists.

Beware of the dwarf

It still is quite a good comic crime movie and it depicts the spirits of the times (San Francisco, late 70s) quite nicely, but I don't like the slapstick kind of humour that funny.