The blue wall blues

They just want to get out, two cops and their detainee, from a Danish ghetto of Svalegården, Copenhagen, which is volatile as fuck as an immigrant was killed by the police just recently. They have to make do on their own because the officials are too afraid to send back-up for their rescue. It's no picnic, they're constantly pelted with stones, Molotov cocktails and bullets. An intense thought-provoking Danish action film with brilliant performances from all the people involved.

Born alone, die alone

A team of immortal mercenaries, they're pretty cool, lived for centuries, fought many wars, witnessed chaos and pestilence and death. But also, they've seen the rise of art, music, literature, knowledge and science. Their DNA is priceless therefore there are folks who see them as merchandise and want to lock them in cages, study the fuck out and suck these laboratory rats to the bone. The Old Guard lost lots of its full potential, but not wholly disappointing. Horrible soundtrack.

Walk through illusions of terror

Some scary shit is happening in a small American town. People are disappearing. A psychologist married to a cop is having an affair and their son is fucken mad angry. All kinds of weird - prob'ly paranormal - stuff is popping out 'round every corner. Or is it just a psycho maniac who makes everyone frightened beyond belief? Got to say, pretty creepy thriller of people questioning their sanity and the multilayered twists in the story were crafted nicely.

Quit while you're ahead

Based on real events in Toronto, 1980-82, a bank employee ripped off his own employer and its customers. Embezzled over $10 million to feed his gambling habit. Philip Seymour Hoffman was such a terrific and passionate actor and the movie is a perfect example of his talent. Decent movie, a harrowing story, but eventually an actor's film.

Save the last dance

An Iranian family Mehdipour are refugees in Finland where immigration clauses oftentimes are gone haywire by the bureaucracy. The Mehdipour are kind and happy people, they love their new country, are well acquainted with its quirky habits, citizens and nature. And they eagerly appeal the supreme court to get granted asylum. Their 13 year old son knows more than he tells and he suspects there's bad news looming on the horizon. A story of one immigrant life in the land of the thousand lakes.

Pass the mustard

A German intends to spread the joy of hot sausages in a derelict old town somewhere in America where the local rednecks are very racist by nature. Gutterbee is a rather cool indie with plenty of eccentric characters, but the comedy doesn't exactly burst into laughter. Cool cast of Antony Starr (Banshee), Ewen Bremner (Trainspotting) and W. Earl Brown (Deadwood) though. Directed by another Banshee actor Ulrich Thomsen.

Happy is the fleeting hope of youth

Drug dealers and corrupt cops are the kings of the crack-infested New York City. A few honest officers of the law and justice try to make a difference, but everyone's gone mental with the ridiculous amount of drug money just lying around and they do everything to defend themselves. A small gem from 1988, Sam Elliott and Peter Weller as the cool cats Marks and Dalton trying to keep the streets clean from the scumbags, sex creeps, jerk-offs, freaks and killers.

A fake world is a lot less painful than the real one

A brilliant techno thriller of a quadriplegic man avenging his wife's death. I had to check if it still was as innovative, hilarious and violent as it was couple of years ago. And - bingo - it's still wicked as shit!

Running on rum

These two lovebirds get on a plane and the pilot fucking drops dead! And to make matters worse the autopilot doesn't work, GPS neither, and they fly into a storm and are running out of fuel. It's a shitty situation. It's kind of suspenseful. A little dumb.

The stain will form the shape of the murderer's face

There's a serial killer who rapes and kills young women at large. The police have dozens of suspects, many of whom they beat to get a confession, but more bodies pile up and everyone is helpless. Based on a true story of South Korea's first serial killer. Memories of Murder (2003) is equally good as Bong Joo Ho's acclaimed Parasite (2019). Tragedy, suspense and black humour in such a perfect harmony.

Manos arribas, you sons of bitches

A retired detective Frank Hamer is given an assignment to kill the murderous cunts Bonnie and Clyde. He teams up with another officer of the law, somewhat a troubled soul, Maney Gault, and even though these has-beens may have lost some of their physique, their deductive reasoning still works. A rather entertaining and engaging movie with steller chemistry between Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson.

The backstage boogie setting the pants on fire

Spenser is an ex-cop and ex-con. After he gets released from the prison, he investigates the double homicide of police officers. A crime movie of the corrupt Boston police and an action comedy tailored for Mark Wahlberg, entertaining but essentially bloody useless and forgettable.

The flower of light in the field of darkness

I was told the character Eli is blind, hadn't registered it before so I had to rewatch the depiction of the miserable post-apocalyptic world from different perspective. Everything is dusty and dirty, the resources are sparse, people kill for food and fresh water. And there's 'a book' that holds the secrets of the world.

Fruit of the poisoneous tree

Teenagers meddle with the black arts, cast spells and learn a few magic tricks. The harmless pranks on school friends are kind of cute at first, but fooling around with magic ain't wise because the danger of invocating something sinister is just one spell away. Corny fantasy crap. Even David Duchovny seems to be bored out of his tits.

Untenable, inflexible, intolerent and unforgiving

With 53 years of television work, during seven decades, thousands of programmes, 3,500 million viewers, Hannu Karpo (born 1932) was probably the most influential reporter in Finnish TV. He was the spokesman of the common man who were mistreated by the bureaucrats. The purpose of his programmes was to uncover all kind of injustices. Hence people trusted him more than the Chancellor of Justice. He is an iconic figure. A phenomenon.

Voice of the war and pain

In post-WWII America, a woman suspects her neighbour is an SS officer who tortured her in the past, so she returns the favour. The thriller speculates whether she is a crazy sadistic bitch or he a nazi pig, and it's nail-biting suspense. Noomi Rapace at Joel Kinneman's throat.

The bomb that didn't go off

It's funny how everything is so motherfucking tip-top, but the story is ridiculously far-fetched and quite impossible to decipher. You'd need at least three or four runs to figure out what the fuck is going on, but who wants to watch a 150 minute movie over and over again. Christopher Nolan has done shit like this before and he's kind of forgiven because the finished piece looks like a work of art. Irritating as hell though.

Firing two guns whilst jumping through the air

I uncorked a bottle of Fernet-Branca and thought a comedy would work out well with it. Hot Fuzz (2007) fires laughs at breakneck speed. A supercop Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is reassigned to a serene small town of Sandford because his efficiency makes the other police officers in London look bad. However, officer Angel has his hands full unravelling the town's ghastly secret. Cleverly written fun.

Always take the high road

Family Cash are bunch of hippies. They're self-educated outcasts living in the woods, intelligent as hell, but forced out of their comfort zone to bury a woman they love and the journey goes through the society and the rules and regulations they hate so much. A feelgood comedy-drama at its finest.

Elaborate carnage candy

A while ago I watched Scream (1996), the first one of the series, and after all these years it was rather an invigorating experience. Scream 2 (1997), it's kind of like all the same. Enjoyable tongue-in-cheek 90s pop horror. And it's still courtesy of Wes Craven.

Wolves do anything to avoid contact with mankind

It's close, but Liam Neeson quite ain't a genre of its own because he's not typecast like, say, Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris or Jackie Chan. He does other stuff as well. In fact, Liam Neeson's body of work speaks volumes. It's diverse, massive and impressive from serious drama (Schindler's List) to western genre (Seraphim Falls), romantic fluff (Love Actually) and epic pieces (Gangs of New York, Kingdom of Heaven) and so on. Also, his apperance on Ricky Gervais' Life's Too Short is one of the funniests shits ever created. It's fascinating that the man of his talent spends so much time with somewhat trivial action films. But kudos to him. He makes them better. In Honest Thief he's in-and-out bandit, a bank robber who wants to turn himself in. Some crooked cops to deal with first. A hopelessly flawed piece, but it's still great. Bless his soul.

You should never meet your heroes

Moose is an overenthusiastic movie freak. He's particularly obsessed with Hunter Dunbar, a horror movie star and Moose's admiration takes a dark turn. John Travolta in a Dumb and Dumber mode playing the autistic Moose and the movie is silly and confusing as shit.

In search of disgusting gratifications

The police are hunting down a serial killer known as The Necktie Murderer. But they are after a wrong man and the real killer is creeping happily around London strangling women with ties. Alfred Hitchcock's next-to-last film (1972).

Dogs with human names

It's expensive to keep a retired hitman alive, so they want him eliminated. Mads Mikkelsen excels as Duncan Vizla, the button man, who everyone wants dead. He, of course, doesn't go down very easily and it all escalates into a bloodboth of epic proportions. Despite shitty reviews, Polar was pretty funky and hilarious. Directed by Jonas Åkerlund.

Running on dead air

Panu teleports from one place to another, every other day. He just vanishes from one place and wakes up in another. It isn't all that bad though. He at least momentarily gets away from the ordinary shit in his life as a glue factory worker in Kitee, Finland. Sounds wicked fun, but isn't. Shot in 30 countries, but only quick glimpses of the world and the story merely relies on one idea.

Live fast, die young

A film maker Craig Foster visits, observes and follows an octopus in Western Cape, South Africa, as it goes about its business, and eventually these two become friends. It's a lovely story, captures a few amazing moments in the life and death of an amazing animal.

When the sun drowns in oblivion

A desperate man wants to break his convicted wife free from prison. She apparently murdered her boss, but the husband is the only one convinced of her innocence. The escape from the iron claws of justice calls for ingenious plan and preparation. This is the original piece, Hollywood did the remake Next Three Days (Paul Haggis. 2010) with Russell Crow and Elizabeth Banks starring. Pour elle (2008) is a French film, with Vincent Lindon and Diane Kruger and it's whole fucken exciting.

We all go a little mad sometimes

Scream from 1996 by Wes Craven (1939-2015). It refined the horror movie genre, rekindled the spirit of Halloween, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street, franchised itself as well and brought horror back into mainstream. Classic slasher shit, an entertaining serial killer story filled with lots of horror tidbits and inside jokes.

A mortal man who fell in love with the elven princess

For someone who hasn't read any of J. R. R. Tolkien's works - i.e. The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings or The Silmarillion - a biopic of the author wasn't too appealing to get into. Even the renowned movies based on the books, by Peter Jackson, weren't that big a deal. But to acknowledge a great mind is a bloody good reason for closer inspection and scrutiny. According to Tolkien, by Finnish director Dome Karukoski, the inspiring years that initially launched Tolkien's career included his fellowship with the other Oxford University students, the love of his life and The Battle of the Somme. Everything was rounded up nicely.

Seize your fucking existence

Richard has stage four lung cancer. He's got 6 to 18 months to live and somehow has to come to terms with his impending death. Drinking, not giving a shit and mending broken relationships are his way of living the remaining last days to the fullest and saying goodbye to the loved ones and all the assholes of the earth. The movie is funnier than it sounds.

Too many hallucinogenic cactuses

Martin's movie script of seven psychopaths ain't going nowhere, but with a little help from a hyperactive friend and a kidnapped Shi Tzu, the story eventually writes itself. A groovy and violent comedy with some genuine laughs where particularly Christopher Walken and Tom Waits are on fire.

Their wretched demise

It should have been lovely time. A recently engaged couple take a hiking trip in Swedish wilderness, a little together time before their first child is born. But wouldn't you know it, the fucken thing turns into a sadistic game of revenge! A gory little thriller, altho' it has a painfully pointless story without likeable characters.

In a bubble of satisfaction

They hardly are sympathetic buddies, the junkies. Finnish Joonas, Antti and Jani go all crazy in Thailand and Cambodia with all the cheap drugs and prostitutes, getting confused with something real and fantasy. Joonas Neuvonen, the film maker, documents the drugged-up life, returns home alone and a few months later comes back only to find out the other friend is dead and the other is nowhere to be found. The sequel to Reindeerspotting (2010), could easily have been to edited to mere 20 minutes as a whole, lots of useless footage masqueraded as a movie.

Out of the depths, for the greater good

The kid sees dead people and nobody believes him. Psychologist Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) is there to help him, but unfortunately he has problems of his own. The Sixth Sense (1999) is still M. Night Shyamalan's most complete piece, only marginally flawed, cool atmospheric horror.

Almost anyone is capable of a crime

I hope this wasn't just a swan song and more seasons are on the way. I really liked the scruffy and hardboiled version of Perry Mason, an L.A. private eye/lawyer who lives with two cows, smokes and drinks heavily, but at the same time is observative, smart and honest. Matthew Rhys as the private dick once again proves his talent.

Disturbed by a restless soul

The villagers call her a witch, or a nazi witch, the lone folklorist doing her research and writing her books in a county of Kent during World War II. She is sent a boy Frank, an evacuee from London, the city that is attacked by German bombers every so often. It's a nice drama doused with intriguing folklore, sadness, heart warming moments and a surprise twist.

Love the land and fellow man

I don't think I've seen Tom Hanks in a western movie before. In News of the World he's Captain Kidd, a town-to-town newsreader and a Civil War veteran. On one of his journeys, he comes across a German girl Johanna (Helena Zengel) who was captured by indians and raised by their tribe for few years. Captain Kidd tries to find the most appropriate solution for her life. Nothing too memorable, a rather predictable story, but worth a watch.

She took them both to the grave

Nisse wants bury his wife secretly and in private. But the news of her death travel fast and Nisse fears unwanted guests will arrive at the funeral. He figures it's not anyone else's business. Not Klaus Härö's greatest piece, but compassionate drama of death. Translates to Life After Death.

Be gone before the echo fades

A CIA analyst Jack Ryan is being hunted down by an Irish terrorist for killing his brother and interrupting a perfecly good assassination. But when his whole family is at stake, Jack Ryan helds no barriers and leaves no stone unturned unti the Irish goon is captured or killed. Patriot Games, directed by Phillip Noyce, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, James Earl Jones, Samuel L. Jackson and Richard Harris, is one of the early nineties action thrillers that still stands the test of time.

Violence and retribution

Even though Russell Crowe is past his Maximus Decimus Meridius physique, he hasn't lost the menacing and defiant presence and makes an excellent, truly frightening, psycho as The Man, a stranger who takes road rage into a whole new level. He creates chaos and death on and off the highway. Unhinged is a damn thrilling little thing, no frills, just 100 % adrenalized action and suspense.

We die and we decay

There's nothing wrong at such with The Dig, it’s a wonderfully acted period film set in Suffolk, Britain, in 1939. A slow-burner, but interesting and historically accurate story of the Sutton Hoo cemetaries that archeologists dug open and excavated. Directed by Simon Stone, a young new talent from Australia.

All is gone except the will to be

A lobbyist is sent to his childhood village to start the layoffs at the local plywood factory. He gets all sentimental of the assignment as the memories are coming back up. Unfortunately, there's nothing much more.

Silent scream on the shore

Surprisingly and suspiciously, bull sharks are adapting to climate change faster and better than anyone else. These beasts eat white sharks and people for breakfast! It's absolutely horrifying! Luckily there are scientists, marine biologists and professional hunters trying to solve this shark problem, but it's a dangerous game. And it doesn't help when they turn against each other and the sharks just feast on their stupidity. I didn't know there were sequels to Renny Harlin's Deep Blue Sea (1999), but I understand why.

Fuck off, death!

It's still somewhat uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch as Sacha Baron Cohen bullshits the gullible Americans with his anti-Semite and currilous character Borat, but it's funny as hell.

Use every bullet twice

In 1961 the Cold War is at its height. The superpowers are grappling for power in Africa. In the newly formed republic of the Congo, east and west scramble for control. And it escalates into civil war. Because Ireland has chosen never to be the aggressor, they've never owned or tried conquer another sovereign nation, it's the Irish soldiers who are sent to the volatile country to serve as peacekeepers. Irish Commandant Pat Quinlan leads a stand off with troops against Congolese general Moïse Tshombe and his French and Belgian mercenaries. A great combat movie based on actual events that are mired in historical controversy.

See all the good memories and be happy

A huge fragmented comet is going to hit the earth and it's going to bring armageddon within. A few lucky ones are chosen to be evacuated in the bunkers of Greenland, but the ones left behind are having none of that. A structural engineer John Garrity (Gerald Butler) does his utmost to survive with his wife and diabetic son. Not only are the cities burning to ashes, but there are riots everywhere and people are acting like animals. A reasonably entertaining disaster movie.

A shot of soap

A bonafide b-movie, but not even hilarious in its cheesiness. Tried hard, but carries an incompetent speck of shit they can't rub off. It has some gory slasher stuff for a story yet it's still boring. 

The end of the legman

At first, I thought it was a political satire making mockery of the presidential election in the United States of America, but pretty soon it was perfectly clear that Bombshell is a dead serious drama. A true story of several women accusing Don Aires, the chairman of Fox News, of sexual harassment. Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, Margot Robbie, John Lithgow and Malcolm McDowell on fire.

Litany of divine absence

Things take place in Iraqi city of Mosul, the world’s most dangerous place for a number of years. It’s full-blown war, ceaseless fire is killing people like flies. The fuckers of ISIS and the local SWAT police are gunning down each other and everything is miserable and bloody and fucking hostile. The movie is technically flawless, perfectly acted, so much so that it looks authentic. What happened there is absolutely devastating.

You can't really dust for vomit

I didn't know there was a book - Spinal Tap: The Big Black Book (2017) by Wallace Fairfax - of the greatest rock'n'roll movie ever released (hats off to Bad News as well), so I got the book and refreshed my memory with the movie. A gift that keeps on giving. 11/10.