Dawn of doomsday

This woman - Jessica - is stalked then kidnapped. Obviously, she needs to escape from the maniac who did this to her. He might be a serial rapist who intends to imprison her for his own sadistic pleasures for years to come and start a nightmare on her life. Deliciously creepy little thriller of survival. Based on a Swedish movie Försvunnen (2011) by Mattias Olsson and Henrik JP Åkesson.

Chance favours the prepared mind

An architect's, a university professor's and a DEA special agent's lives are intertwined by a painkiller Fentanyl. The highly addictive opioid is smuggled between United States and Canada and obviously there are dangerous people involved as well. Evangeline Lilly, Gary Oldman and Arnie Hammer in a not bad but an average thriller.

Moments of silence in ball games

I'm sure I liked it the first time I saw Body of Lies (2008), but forgot it by the same token. Now years later, it's quite an exciting and volatile espionage thriller, but I realize why it was so hopelessly forgettable. It's a cliché-ridden plotholed fucking thing and despite all things, it's kind of dull. Maybe I'll like it again in few years time, after I've forgotten it again, starting tomorrow.

Highway lines in quicksand

A cattle rancher accidentally makes enemies with a Mexican drug cartel. Bad people armed to teeth are after him and a boy Miguel he's protecting from Arizona to Chicago. Never miss out a Liam Neeson movie, but even on his standards The Marksman is if not poor a mediocre film.

The closer you are to Caesar, the greater the fear

Thin Red Line (1998), a mightily good war film by Terrence Malick. It's funny how it's epic and poetic yet catches the utter insanity of war to perfection. The story itself is pretty simple; U.S. forces gaining foothold in the island of Guadalcanal in the Pacific during the second World War, destroying Japanese defense. But the way it's executed, it's almost mindblowing perfection and the cast knows no equal: Jim Caviezel, Adrien Brody, Sean Penn, Nick Nolte, Ben Chaplin, John Cusack, Woody Harrelson, Thomas Jane, Elias Koteas, Jared Leto, Dash Mihok, Tim Blake Nelson, George Clooney, John C. Reilly, John Travolta and so on. Amazingly, scenes including Bill Pullman, Gary Oldman, Lukas Haas, Viggo Mortensen, Martin Sheen, Jason Patric and Mickey Rourke were left on the cutting room floor.

Sugar-coating the world

A long weekend and a group of Finns in a summerhouse by the lake with plenty of free time in their hands always includes alcohol and arguments. The oppressed emotions breaking free enable unmendable frictions in relationships. Throw in an unknown Swede crashing in and we're talking shitstorm that could end up in murder. Brilliantly performed drama with actors who haven't worn their faces out in drivel TV entertainment - Laura Birn, Emmi Parviainen, Eero Milonoff, Samuli Niittymäki, Paula Vesala, Christian Hillborg, Iida-Maria Heinonen and Paavo Kinnunen - they are true specimen of their profession. Directed by Jenni Toivoniemi.

Get the hammer out

Grace's husband Jonathan is the lead suspect in a murder investigation. And the accusations only skyrocket when the man goes missing. And the plot keeps on thickening episode by episode. This is the good shit, gets little out of hand towards the end, but an intense Mini-Series orchestrated by a strong and reputable cast of David E. Kelley (L.A. Law, Picket Fences) and Susanne Bier (The Night Manager, After the Wedding, Brødre).

Paranoid instead of protected

It looks like there's only one honest cop in the city. All the others are corrupt asshole cunts who sold their shields off to the highest bidder. Ray Tierney (Edward Norton) has to fight against fellow officers in blue who all are out of control. A little out of focus at times, pretty confusing in the beginning particularly, but strong performances and a decent action movie nevertheless.

A shadow is cast wherever he stands

The first Jack Irish TV Movie (2012) of a Jack Irish TV Movie series. Guy Pearce as the private dick investigating a few gruesome murders and realizing he has a big target on his own back. Not great, but a pretty cool crime thing and it's somewhat refreshing to see fiction shot on the suburbs of Melbourne, Australia.

Between heaven and hell

Not often I'm impressed of a piece of fiction where every single character is despicable piece of shit and you don't give a rat's ass of their destiny, but in Snabba Cash TV Series I was so thoroughly focused on the brilliantly depicted Stockholm criminal underworld that I couldn't care less. It felt genuine the whole deal. Amazing shit.

Getting old is a gift

The heroes, they are all characters in a video game and their quest is to recover a jewel from Jurgen the Brutal and show it to the Sun. That's Jumanji: The Next Level in a nutshell. Two hours of fast-paced photoshopped nonsense entertainment.

The thundering line of demented choirs

Everyone tries to make Daniel Léger a hotshot drug dealer and a criminal mastermind, but he's just a lowlife junkie. A true story of a Canadian citizen who was wrongly accused of smuggling heroin in Thailand in 1989. An investigative journalist managed to dig out the truth before he was executed, but the man was cheated 8 years of his life. Federal police in Canada in of the biggest clusterfucks and wrongdoings the country has ever seen. Truly a well researched and crafted story in the indie crime, directed by Daniel Roby.

The ashes that are left behind

There's a townful of suspects in the village of New York, but Speedy Gonzales intends to find out who killed his brother Moses. Albeit a parody, Speedy Gonzales - noin 7 veljeksen poika is the best known Finnish western, produced in 1970. A cult classic starring a dead cool line-up of Pertti "Spede" Pasanen, Tarja Markus, Esko Salminen, Simo Salminen, Ville-Veikko Salminen, Leo Lastumäki, Juhani Kumpulainen, Jukka Virtanen, Olavi Ahonen and Leo Jokela.

Pleasure in measures

A 35 year-old single woman who hasn't achieved anything in life wants to be a stand-up comedian. She embarks on Best Rookie Comedian tour with her peers and it ends up in tears. Nothing much, like an episode of any average sitcom.

Christ all Friday

Should be heralded as a Clint Eastwood classic. A stubborn old war veteran Walt Kowalski has to come to terms with his new cross-cultural neighbourhood, particularly a Hmong family nextdoor. It's all tremendously wrapped in laughter and joy, before exploding in heart-stopping ending. Gran Torino is funny as shit and tragic as fuck at the same time.

The dead calm of ignorance

A plane carrying a US football team fucking crashes. No one finds the handful of survivals because no one finds anyone in movies. Rescue parties, transponders and flight plans exist only in real life. Even if these clowns have not one but two proper islands in their hands, they don't search for food or fresh water. They choose to divide into two groups, apply the rules of football to their situation and outstupid each other. The people who brainstorm this kind of garbage should be arrested and sent to prison.

Tits on a Tuesday

Like ripped from the pages of a Raymond Chandler novel. Edward Norton is Lionel Essrog - a detective who has a condition that make him say funny things - investigating the death of his boss and friend Frank Minna (Bruce Willis). Motherless Brooklyn is entertaining crime noir, the main character's Tourette's Syndrome makes it surprisingly funny and something different, and all the actors on the lead - Edward Norton, Alec Baldwin, Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Willem Dafoe - are passionately involved.

Wine is sunlight held together by water

Based on a true story how Californian Napa Valley wine was finally noted by the snobbery wine community all over the world. They introduced it to the wine cronies in a blind-tasting event in Paris, shattered the myth of invincible French wine, and won. Somewhat unnecessarily they'd added drama, romance and comedy to the Bottle Shock story, but a feelgood educative fucker nevertheless.

Tangled up in a murder

A dead man in the woods is the source of attraction and inspiration for townspeople. They even have to bury him three times before anyone knows what to do with the corpse. The Trouble with Harry (1955) sums up perfectly the sense of humour of Alfred Hitchcock.

The blue wall blues

They just want to get out, two cops and their detainee, from a Danish ghetto of Svalegården, Copenhagen, which is volatile as fuck as an immigrant was killed by the police just recently. They have to make do on their own because the officials are too afraid to send back-up for their rescue. It's no picnic, they're constantly pelted with stones, Molotov cocktails and bullets. An intense thought-provoking Danish action film with brilliant performances from all the people involved.

Born alone, die alone

A team of immortal mercenaries, they're pretty cool, lived for centuries, fought many wars, witnessed chaos and pestilence and death. But also, they've seen the rise of art, music, literature, knowledge and science. Their DNA is priceless therefore there are folks who see them as merchandise and want to lock them in cages, study the fuck out and suck these laboratory rats to the bone. The Old Guard lost lots of its full potential, but not wholly disappointing. Horrible soundtrack.

Walk through illusions of terror

Some scary shit is happening in a small American town. People are disappearing. A psychologist married to a cop is having an affair and their son is fucken mad angry. All kinds of weird - prob'ly paranormal - stuff is popping out 'round every corner. Or is it just a psycho maniac who makes everyone frightened beyond belief? Got to say, pretty creepy thriller of people questioning their sanity and the multilayered twists in the story were crafted nicely.

Quit while you're ahead

Based on real events in Toronto, 1980-82, a bank employee ripped off his own employer and its customers. Embezzled over $10 million to feed his gambling habit. Philip Seymour Hoffman was such a terrific and passionate actor and the movie is a perfect example of his talent. Decent movie, a harrowing story, but eventually an actor's film.

Save the last dance

An Iranian family Mehdipour are refugees in Finland where immigration clauses oftentimes are gone haywire by the bureaucracy. The Mehdipour are kind and happy people, they love their new country, are well acquainted with its quirky habits, citizens and nature. And they eagerly appeal the supreme court to get granted asylum. Their 13 year old son knows more than he tells and he suspects there's bad news looming on the horizon. A story of one immigrant life in the land of the thousand lakes.

Pass the mustard

A German intends to spread the joy of hot sausages in a derelict old town somewhere in America where the local rednecks are very racist by nature. Gutterbee is a rather cool indie with plenty of eccentric characters, but the comedy doesn't exactly burst into laughter. Cool cast of Antony Starr (Banshee), Ewen Bremner (Trainspotting) and W. Earl Brown (Deadwood) though. Directed by another Banshee actor Ulrich Thomsen.

Happy is the fleeting hope of youth

Drug dealers and corrupt cops are the kings of the crack-infested New York City. A few honest officers of the law and justice try to make a difference, but everyone's gone mental with the ridiculous amount of drug money just lying around and they do everything to defend themselves. A small gem from 1988, Sam Elliott and Peter Weller as the cool cats Marks and Dalton trying to keep the streets clean from the scumbags, sex creeps, jerk-offs, freaks and killers.

A fake world is a lot less painful than the real one

A brilliant techno thriller of a quadriplegic man avenging his wife's death. I had to check if it still was as innovative, hilarious and violent as it was couple of years ago. And - bingo - it's still wicked as shit!

Running on rum

These two lovebirds get on a plane and the pilot fucking drops dead! And to make matters worse the autopilot doesn't work, GPS neither, and they fly into a storm and are running out of fuel. It's a shitty situation. It's kind of suspenseful. A little dumb.

The stain will form the shape of the murderer's face

There's a serial killer who rapes and kills young women at large. The police have dozens of suspects, many of whom they beat to get a confession, but more bodies pile up and everyone is helpless. Based on a true story of South Korea's first serial killer. Memories of Murder (2003) is equally good as Bong Joo Ho's acclaimed Parasite (2019). Tragedy, suspense and black humour in such a perfect harmony.

Manos arribas, you sons of bitches

A retired detective Frank Hamer is given an assignment to kill the murderous cunts Bonnie and Clyde. He teams up with another officer of the law, somewhat a troubled soul, Maney Gault, and even though these has-beens may have lost some of their physique, their deductive reasoning still works. A rather entertaining and engaging movie with steller chemistry between Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson.

The backstage boogie setting the pants on fire

Spenser is an ex-cop and ex-con. After he gets released from the prison, he investigates the double homicide of police officers. A crime movie of the corrupt Boston police and an action comedy tailored for Mark Wahlberg, entertaining but essentially bloody useless and forgettable.

The flower of light in the field of darkness

I was told the character Eli is blind, hadn't registered it before so I had to rewatch the depiction of the miserable post-apocalyptic world from different perspective. Everything is dusty and dirty, the resources are sparse, people kill for food and fresh water. And there's 'a book' that holds the secrets of the world.

Fruit of the poisoneous tree

Teenagers meddle with the black arts, cast spells and learn a few magic tricks. The harmless pranks on school friends are kind of cute at first, but fooling around with magic ain't wise because the danger of invocating something sinister is just one spell away. Corny fantasy crap. Even David Duchovny seems to be bored out of his tits.

Untenable, inflexible, intolerent and unforgiving

With 53 years of television work, during seven decades, thousands of programmes, 3,500 million viewers, Hannu Karpo (born 1932) was probably the most influential reporter in Finnish TV. He was the spokesman of the common man who were mistreated by the bureaucrats. The purpose of his programmes was to uncover all kind of injustices. Hence people trusted him more than the Chancellor of Justice. He is an iconic figure. A phenomenon.

Voice of the war and pain

In post-WWII America, a woman suspects her neighbour is an SS officer who tortured her in the past, so she returns the favour. The thriller speculates whether she is a crazy sadistic bitch or he a nazi pig, and it's nail-biting suspense. Noomi Rapace at Joel Kinneman's throat.

The bomb that didn't go off

It's funny how everything is so motherfucking tip-top, but the story is ridiculously far-fetched and quite impossible to decipher. You'd need at least three or four runs to figure out what the fuck is going on, but who wants to watch a 150 minute movie over and over again. Christopher Nolan has done shit like this before and he's kind of forgiven because the finished piece looks like a work of art. Irritating as hell though.

Firing two guns whilst jumping through the air

I uncorked a bottle of Fernet-Branca and thought a comedy would work out well with it. Hot Fuzz (2007) fires laughs at breakneck speed. A supercop Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is reassigned to a serene small town of Sandford because his efficiency makes the other police officers in London look bad. However, officer Angel has his hands full unravelling the town's ghastly secret. Cleverly written fun.

Always take the high road

Family Cash are bunch of hippies. They're self-educated outcasts living in the woods, intelligent as hell, but forced out of their comfort zone to bury a woman they love and the journey goes through the society and the rules and regulations they hate so much. A feelgood comedy-drama at its finest.

Elaborate carnage candy

A while ago I watched Scream (1996), the first one of the series, and after all these years it was rather an invigorating experience. Scream 2 (1997), it's kind of like all the same. Enjoyable tongue-in-cheek 90s pop horror. And it's still courtesy of Wes Craven.

Wolves do anything to avoid contact with mankind

It's close, but Liam Neeson quite ain't a genre of its own because he's not typecast like, say, Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris or Jackie Chan. He does other stuff as well. In fact, Liam Neeson's body of work speaks volumes. It's diverse, massive and impressive from serious drama (Schindler's List) to western genre (Seraphim Falls), romantic fluff (Love Actually) and epic pieces (Gangs of New York, Kingdom of Heaven) and so on. Also, his apperance on Ricky Gervais' Life's Too Short is one of the funniests shits ever created. It's fascinating that the man of his talent spends so much time with somewhat trivial action films. But kudos to him. He makes them better. In Honest Thief he's in-and-out bandit, a bank robber who wants to turn himself in. Some crooked cops to deal with first. A hopelessly flawed piece, but it's still great. Bless his soul.

You should never meet your heroes

Moose is an overenthusiastic movie freak. He's particularly obsessed with Hunter Dunbar, a horror movie star and Moose's admiration takes a dark turn. John Travolta in a Dumb and Dumber mode playing the autistic Moose and the movie is silly and confusing as shit.

In search of disgusting gratifications

The police are hunting down a serial killer known as The Necktie Murderer. But they are after a wrong man and the real killer is creeping happily around London strangling women with ties. Alfred Hitchcock's next-to-last film (1972).

Dogs with human names

It's expensive to keep a retired hitman alive, so they want him eliminated. Mads Mikkelsen excels as Duncan Vizla, the button man, who everyone wants dead. He, of course, doesn't go down very easily and it all escalates into a bloodboth of epic proportions. Despite shitty reviews, Polar was pretty funky and hilarious. Directed by Jonas Åkerlund.

Running on dead air

Panu teleports from one place to another, every other day. He just vanishes from one place and wakes up in another. It isn't all that bad though. He at least momentarily gets away from the ordinary shit in his life as a glue factory worker in Kitee, Finland. Sounds wicked fun, but isn't. Shot in 30 countries, but only quick glimpses of the world and the story merely relies on one idea.

Live fast, die young

A film maker Craig Foster visits, observes and follows an octopus in Western Cape, South Africa, as it goes about its business, and eventually these two become friends. It's a lovely story, captures a few amazing moments in the life and death of an amazing animal.

When the sun drowns in oblivion

A desperate man wants to break his convicted wife free from prison. She apparently murdered her boss, but the husband is the only one convinced of her innocence. The escape from the iron claws of justice calls for ingenious plan and preparation. This is the original piece, Hollywood did the remake Next Three Days (Paul Haggis. 2010) with Russell Crow and Elizabeth Banks starring. Pour elle (2008) is a French film, with Vincent Lindon and Diane Kruger and it's whole fucken exciting.

We all go a little mad sometimes

Scream from 1996 by Wes Craven (1939-2015). It refined the horror movie genre, rekindled the spirit of Halloween, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street, franchised itself as well and brought horror back into mainstream. Classic slasher shit, an entertaining serial killer story filled with lots of horror tidbits and inside jokes.

A mortal man who fell in love with the elven princess

For someone who hasn't read any of J. R. R. Tolkien's works - i.e. The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings or The Silmarillion - a biopic of the author wasn't too appealing to get into. Even the renowned movies based on the books, by Peter Jackson, weren't that big a deal. But to acknowledge a great mind is a bloody good reason for closer inspection and scrutiny. According to Tolkien, by Finnish director Dome Karukoski, the inspiring years that initially launched Tolkien's career included his fellowship with the other Oxford University students, the love of his life and The Battle of the Somme. Everything was rounded up nicely.

Seize your fucking existence

Richard has stage four lung cancer. He's got 6 to 18 months to live and somehow has to come to terms with his impending death. Drinking, not giving a shit and mending broken relationships are his way of living the remaining last days to the fullest and saying goodbye to the loved ones and all the assholes of the earth. The movie is funnier than it sounds.

Too many hallucinogenic cactuses

Martin's movie script of seven psychopaths ain't going nowhere, but with a little help from a hyperactive friend and a kidnapped Shi Tzu, the story eventually writes itself. A groovy and violent comedy with some genuine laughs where particularly Christopher Walken and Tom Waits are on fire.