No time to get ginger ale

To put it short, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence have aged a little bit more and they still can't act. Of course it's a shit story too.

The unfortunates of the world

Classic. What's there in the chemistry between Robert de Niro and Charles Brodin alone. But Dennis Farina as a mob boss, Yaphet Kotto as an FBI honcho and John Ashton as a bounty hunter. They make a terrific cast. Midnight Run, by Martin Brest, is an adventurous buddy comedy and a road movie of a bondsman escorting a former mob accountant across country from New York City to Los Angeles. Hardly no weak moments here.

Written on the wind

Earth is pretty much uninhabitable because there's no oxygen left. Handful of people are holed up living in basements and underground tunnels. Luckily they are quite intelligent and have devices to produce precious air. Freshen up a bit, eat healthy and do normal stuff like read. With state-of-the-art oxygen kits they can explore the world, scavenge for food and supplies. Things get tricky and possible volatile when people meet other people and it's a guessing game are all the gun-toting strangers reliable and nice. It's a bit silly, Stefon Bristol's Breathe, but there are worse dystopian flicks out there.

Tuning chemistry

Matt Damon and Paul Greengrass didn't want to have anything to do with this movie. It's a different animal. Jason Bourne is mentioned only in passing altho the film rides quite shamelessly on his name. It's still packed with great action. Packed on shit storyline. But still. 

Not with a bang, but a whimper

This is great. It's so unbelievably bad that the total shittiness is an absolute asset and Ice Storm is entertaining as fuck. That comes with the worst of the worst, it's like a natural phenomena, you're nailed to your seat, mesmerized by everything you see. Super cool.

The sky singing with all its might

It's quite simple. Anchorman 2, like lots of Will Ferrell comedies in fact, it's either pure comedy gold or it's embarrassing and not really funny at all. Particularly embarrassing was Steve Carell's performance and what was penned for his character. Otherwise, it's something like 10 minutes heartfelt laughs and the rest is abominable rubbish. Should never have been released.

Muddy springs aren't always deep

It's a Finnish road movie. And it looks like a Finnish road movie. A philosopher (Ville Myllyrinne) residing in Lapland is invited to Independence Day Reception in Helsinki and he takes a 1200 km taxi drive through Finland accompanied by an eccentric driver (Kai Lehtinen). It's an easy-going and relatively funny trip.

One more death

The Good Father by Shô Kataoka. It's kind of weird and that makes it exciting, but the more you watch it, the more it transforms stupid and silly. The Kubo family are involved in a car accident and they don't come back the same as before.

Prelude to the alchemy of the future

It's embarrassing. Chris Pine writes. And directs. And he's the lead star in Poolman. An absolute joke of a movie. A comedy that's nowhere even near funny. Tries to be offbeat and cool, but it's only confusing. Just a bunch of quirky dialogue thrown around hoping some of it would stick. None of it does. Horrible drivel. Not worth a fucking cent.

Fury forged in war

To properly retaliate Nazi Germany's bombing of England's cities, the Brits build the Lancaster bomber that was a machine made for war and that in fact of major reason for Allies winning the damn WWII. The story is told through the words of the last surviving crew members. Epic and eye-opening material.

The worst of humanity's traits

A stuntman breaks his back, ruins his career and workplace romance. He's called back, but soon framed for murder! The Fall Guy is a light-hearted comedy thriller with a very thin plot where Ryan Gosling looks weird.

On a shoot-on-sight authorization

Incredible. One of the most thrilling high-octane agent flicks. Paced to perfection and executed with relentless energy. This is the way how thrillers should be made. Nothing but impressiveness.

Nuns have more fun

People are losing interest in religion, so in all wisdom Church needs to create something to fear. A small, but powerful group of priests and bishops, even higher, they decide something drastic has to be done. These priests believe they can birth the Antichrist and then control him! Allow him to bring his dark forces to bear on the world just enough to drive people back to the Church! Blimey! A prequel to the original The Omen (1976), it has a few decent moments but pretty dull as a whole.

The art of kissing the cold ground

Tough one. Outlast season 2 was presented like a proper survival reality TV, sending bunch of people to Alaskan wilderness with bare essentials only and a mere good luck note. They have to eat mushrooms, hunt squirrels and mice for food. Somehow keep themselves warm, nourished and hydrated. And 6 out of 8 episodes it’s exciting. Needlessly the producers watered down the whole project. The last two episodes ruined the whole thing, it no longer was about surviving in the forest and making the ends meet. The competition became extremely unfair, favoring certain individuals, to the point that it’s fair to say it’s a fixed result.

Barely braking the skin

An ex Marine on his way to bail out his cousin from jail confronts hillbilly cops who are crooked to the bone. Rebel Ridge harks back to the Reacher films and it’s overall an okay film, but unfortunately not much more.

Nothing but a fuck puppet

Boy (Bill Skarsgård) has only one purpose. To kill Hilda Van Der Koy (Famke Janssen), the devious leader of an unnamed city and responsible of the death of Boy’s family. One of these non-stop blood-drenched mayhem and carnage flicks, heads are bashed in and the violence is graphic and it’s everywhere. It’s either a real blast for some or it suffocates in its own excessiveness for others. In the region of Bullet Train, Sin City, John Wick and Kill Bill, but not as balanced story telling.

A wish beyond daydream

Millions of dollars of drug cartel money is hidden inside a hospital that's scheduled to be demolished. Three desperate parties want the find the money and run away before the charges are set to blow the establishment to kingdom come. The clock is fucking ticking. Dolph Lundgren's Castle Falls is cheap and stupid garbage.

Legacy of misery

It's like a man walks out of prison and he seems so unhappy that it makes you wonder if he want to go back in. Elsewhere a young woman is raped. Kills a cop, too. These two lost souls meet and their path is paved with unexceptional boredom.

Guys wound so tight they were bound to snap

An amnesiac agent Jason Bourne has retired in Goa, India, but he's framed for murder in Europe, so he's forced to resume his profession. The Bourne Supremacy (2004) is a sequel to The Bourne Identity (2002), and those two make better and exciting spy thrills than the James Bond franchise altogether.

In a bodybag by sundown

Do they make thrillers like this these days? If not, they should. The Bourne Identity is a clever high-octane thing with no loose ends. A nail-biting fucker. Agent Jason Bourne is found bullet-riddled and suffering from amnesia. He gradually understands a little bit of himself and what he's supposed to be doing. But everything is a great labyrinth of deception and the truth is hard to decipher.