Too old to grow up

Based on a true story of Ken Leishman also known as the Flying Bandit, a Canadian criminal who robbed banks and was the mastermind behind the largest gold theft in Canadian history. Holds a layout for an exciting thriller, but unfortunately Allan Ungar's Bandit doesn't know is it a comedy or a crime flick and it's constantly changing its tone. The acting is mediocre at best.

The rules of the heart

An elderly man travels to meet an old friend of him. On foot. And the distance (between Kingsbridge and Berwick-upon-Tweed) is 500 miles (800 km). On his pilgrimage, he meets up different people, becomes a celebrity and it's all a great adventure. Don't translate that well into entertainment though.

Starting a jazz band

Rewatched this. Sofia Coppola's Lost in Translation from 2003. Saw it back then and, contrary to popular belief, I didn't like it that much. It hadn't improved.

Twisted reasons for exploiting the folly

Grotesque and disgusting. Titane's violence and craziness is graphic and some of the footage is unprecedented in its sickening imaginary. It's one of those films you don't necessarily like and enjoy, but appreciate the vulgar display anyways. Auto erotic fiction by Julia Ducournau and it's as unconformable as they come.

Like eels in the mud

At the end of the 19th century, an enthusiastic Danish priest Lucas (Elliot Crosset Hove) travels to Iceland to build a church and spread the word of Christ. However, upon landing it's a struggle. The barren land and unforgiving climate suck his energy and the holy mission bony dry and he kind of fucking hates the place. But build a church he must. A slow-burning beautifully filmed film, but little entertainment otherwise.

Punctuality is the thief of time

It seems this clown's only motivation is to kill people. He's not very smart, but kudos to him, the people aren't either. Old-school slasher shit, visually reminiscences of the 80s horror. One particularly shocking and gruesome scene to leave any trace of Terrifier's (2016) existence. Otherwise, forgettable.

Lurking in the shadows, waiting to be uncovered

I almost read the book. Søren Sveistrup's Kastanjemanden (2019). Left it a couple of hundred pages short. I didn't like it enough. It was alright and fairly interesting, but never grabbed in for a ride, like them unputdownable novels do. The story was interesting enough and serial killer fiction is a mightily good genre. I switched on to the series. And the adaptation is better than the original novel. Gripping shit, it never let go.

Doom over innocent people

Tried to recognize and pinpoint the irony and humor of Timo Vuorensola's 97 Minutes, but fucking couldn't. The man however is responsible of such a cult comedy classic as Iron Sky (and its sequel). Don't know what's the point here. It's an absolute garbage b-movie thriller of terrorists hijacking a plane. There are people like Alec Baldwin and Jonathan Rhys Meyers involved and everyone looks like they've lost their ambition to work all of a sudden. If anything, it's great to get the worst movie of the year out of the way so early.

Ravenous ghosts in limbo

Young adults flirt with the spirits of the dead and their bad voodoo gets out of hand. Big time. Talk to Me is proper nightmarish horror. A blood-soaked and freaky Australian movie, directed by twin brothers Danny and Michael Philippou.

2023

MOVIES

In the Court of the Crimson King: King Crimson at 50 (Toby Amies)
Cocaine Bear (Elizabeth Banks)
Patriots Day (Peter Berg)
Deliverance (John Boorman)
One Eyed Jacks (Marlon Brando)
As Good as It Gets (James L. Brooks)
Decision to Leave (Park Chan-wook)
Babylon (Damien Chazelle)
Till (Chinoney Chukwu)
The Pale Blue Eye (Scott Cooper)
Leaving Las Vegas (Mike Figgis)
The Killer (David Fincher)
Smile (Parker Finn)
A Man Called Otto (Marc Forster)
Le otto montagne (Felix van Groeningen, Charllotte Vandermeersch)
Extraction 2 (Sam Hargrave)
Sisu (Jalmari Helander)
Payback (Brian Helgeland)
Capricorn One (Peter Hyams)
The Sadness (Rob Jabbaz)
Missing (Nicholas D. Johnson, Will Merrick)
Toivon tuolla puolen (Aki Kaurismäki)
Hassisen Kone 40 vuotta myöhemmin (Mika Kaurismäki)
Everything Everywhere All at Once (Daniel Kwan, Daniel Scheinert)
All or Nothing (Mike Leigh)
Elvis (Baz Luhrmann)
The Mauritanian (Kevin Macdonald)
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (James Mangold)
The Alpinist (Peter Mortimer, Nick Rosen)
Kaveri (Teemu Nikki)
Oppenheimer (Christopher Nolan)
Karaokeparatiisi (Einari Paakkanen)
Get Out (Jordan Peele)
Nope (Jordan Peele)
Red Dragon (Brett Ratner)
Day of the Dead (George A. Romero)
Dawn of the Dead (George A. Romero)
The Drop (Michaël R. Roskam)
Host (Rob Savage)
Marathon Man (John Schlesinger)
Knock at the Cabin (M. Night Shyamalan)
The Vanishing (George Sluizer)
Ricky Gervais: Armageddon (John L. Spencer)
The Guns of Navarone (J. Lee Thompson)
The Innocents (Eskil Vogt)
Gourmet Club (Juha Vuolijoki)
Eden Lake (James Watkins)
X (Ti West)
Pearl (Ti West)
Don't Worry Darling (Olivia Wilde)
I onde dager (Tommy Wirkola)
Red Sun (Terence Young)
Bone Tomahawk (S. Craig Zahler)
Compliance (Craig Zobel)
Triangle of Sadness (Ruben Östlund)

SERIES

The Sopranos (David Chase)
Jack Ryan (Carlton Cuse, Graham Roland)
Seinfeld (Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld)
The Last of Us (Neil Druckmann, Craig Mazin)
American Manhunt: The Boston Marathon Bombing (William B. Evans, Rick Deslauriers, Phillip Martin)
Tunna blå linjen (Cilla Jackert)
Luottomies (Kari Ketonen, Antti Luusuaniemi, Maria Ylipää)
Sharp Objects (Marti Noxon)
Fauda (Lior Raz, Avi Issacharoff)
Waco: American Apocalypse (David Thibodeau, Chris Whitcomb, Lee Hancock)

R.I.P.

Mark Adams (musician) born 1958 (aged 65)
Ossi Ahlapuro (actor) born 1939 (aged 83)
Martti Ahtisaari (president) born 1937 (aged 86)
Kenneth Anger (filmmaker) born 1927 (aged 96)
Alan Arkin (actor) born 1934 (aged 89)
Kirk Arrington (musician) born 1962 (aged 61)
Christian Atsu (footballer) born 1992 (aged 31)
Burt Bacharach (composer) born 1928 (aged 94)
Jeff Beck (musician) born 1944 (aged 78)
Harry Belafonte (singer, actor) born 1927 (aged 96)
Tony Bennett (singer) born 1926 (aged 96)
Silvio Berlusconi (politician) born 1936 (aged 86)
Robert Blake (actor) born 1933 (aged 89)
Andre Braugher (actor) born 1962 (aged 61)
Doyle Brunson (poker player) born 1933 (aged 89)
Sir Bobby Charlton (footballer) born 1937 (aged 86)
Rosalynn Carter (first lady) born 1927 (aged 96)
Van Conner (musician) born 1967 (aged 55)
David Crosby (musician) born 1941 (aged 81)
Georg Dolivo (entertainer) born 1945 (aged 77)
Jim Durkin (musician) born 1965 (aged 58)
Michael Gambon (actor) born 1940 (aged 82)
Juhan af Grann (astral traveller) born 1944 (aged 78)
William Friedkin (director) born 1935 (aged 87)
Jussi Harismaa (co-worker) born 1958 (aged 65)
Hannu Hautala (nature photographer) born 1941 (aged 82)
Pedro Hietanen (musician) born 1949 (aged 74)
Barry Humphries (comedian) born 1934 (aged 89)
Al Jaffee (cartoonist) born 1921 (aged 102)
Juha Jokinen (sportscaster) born 1937 (aged 85)
Ted Kaczynski (terrorist) born 1942 (aged 81)
Scott Kempner (musician) born 1954 (aged 69)
Bill Kenwright (football chairman) born 1945 (aged 78)
Henry Kissinger (Secretary of State) born 1923 (aged 100)
Matti Klinge (historian) born 1936 (aged 86)
Esa Kotilainen (musician) born 1946 (aged 77)
Milan Kundera (author) born 1929 (aged 94)
Rob Laakso (musician) born 1979 (aged 44)
Pekka Laiho (actor) born 1943 (aged 80)
Piper Laurie (actress) born 1932 (aged 91)
Michael Lerner (actor) born 1941 (aged 81)
Gordon Lightfoot (musician) born 1938 (aged 84)
Miki Liukkonen (author) born 1989 (aged 33)
Gina Lollobrigida (actress) born 1927 (aged 95)
Shane MacGowan (musician) born 1957 (aged 65)
Turkka Mali (musician) born 1956 (aged 67)
Mark Margolis (actor) born 1939 (aged 83)
Bernie Marsden (musician) born 1951 (aged 72)
David McCallum (actor) born 1933 (aged 90)
Cormac McCarthy (author) born 1933 (aged 89)
Tony McPhee (musician) born 1944 (aged 79)
Majk Moti (musician) born 1957 (aged 65)
John Nettleton (actor) born 1929 (aged 94)
Heli Nevakare (journalist) born 1960 (aged 63)
Barry Newman (actor) born 1930 (aged 92)
Harri Nykänen (author) born 1953 (aged 69)
Sinéad O'Connor (musician) born 1966 (aged 56)
Ryan O'Neal (actor) born 1941 (aged 82)
Kenzaburō Ōe (author) born 1935 (aged 88)
Sari Peltoniemi (musician, author) born 1963 (aged 60)
Matthew Perry (actor) born 1969 (aged 54)
Lisa Marie Presley (singer-songwriter) born 1968 (aged 54)
Antti Raivio (actor) born 1962 (aged 60)
Siiri Rantanen (skier) born 1924 (aged 98)
Stina Rautelin (actress) born 1963 (aged 59)
Lance Reddick (actor) born 1962 (aged 60)
Steve Riley (musician) born 1956 (aged 67)
Sixto Rodriguez (musician) born 1942 (aged 81)
Gary Rossington (musician) born 1951 (aged 71)
Aira Samulin (dance teacher) born 1927 (aged 96)
Julian Sands (actor) born 1958 (aged 65)
Timo Seppälä (Ph.D. doping supervisor) born 1951 (aged 72)
Tom Sizemore (actor) born 1961 (aged 61)
Jerry Springer (talk show host) born 1944 (aged 79)
Ray Stevenson (actor) born 1964 (aged 58)
Ulf Sundqvist (politician) born 1945 (aged 78)
Tapio Suominen (director) born 1946 (aged 76)
Arto "Luigi" Toikkanen (musician) born 1965 (aged 57)
Tina Turner (singer) born 1939 (aged 83)
Terry Venables (football player and manager) born 1943 (aged 80)
Tom Verlaine (musician) born 1949 (aged 73)
Gianluca Vialli (football player) born 1964 (aged 58)
Aapo Vilhunen (actor) born 1935 (aged 87)
Kevin "Geordie" Walker (musician) born 1958 (aged 64)
Algy Ward (musician) born 1959 (aged 63)
Raquel Welch (actress) born 1940 (aged 82)
Tom Wilkinson (actor) born 1948 (aged 75)
Treat Williams (actor) born 1951 (aged 71)
Burt Young (actor) born 1940 (aged 83)
Jock Zonfrillo (television presenter, chef) born 1976 (aged 46)

Living in the shadows of those who we never meet

So much shit is happening that it inevitably turns against itself and the result can be rather tedious. And in all the chaos and hair-raising techno thrills, you lose the plot so easily that the high octane action is the only fuel to feed upon. And for fuck's sake, this monster, clocking in almost three hours, is the only the first part of the movie. 

History is a long list of failures

The first scene and its 20 minutes (or so) was electrifying and really bloody good. And they had digitized the young Harrison Ford pretty much to perfection. Unfortunately, the film then transformed into a silly and downright stupid adventure. Indy and his goddaughter crisscross the Mediterranean sea – and beyond – while hunting down an Archimedes’ Dial. And, of course, the fucking nazis are after them!

The mafia. They're like cancer. No cure.

Ex-government badass Robert McCall has one more mission to accomplish and he gets stuck in South Italy to fight against the Camorra evil people. Not bad, but terribly cliched little thriller and action-packed only temporarily. Reunites Denzel Washington with Dakota Fanning after Tony Scott’s riveting Man on Fire (2004), when she was 10.

Laugh at whatever you find funny

Yeah it's good. Maybe Ricky Gervais has established such a high standard that Armageddon left me a little disappointed. It's not as vehement and vulgar as most of his performances, not even that funny either, but guaranteed to make you laugh. And his ridicule on Woke culture is spot on.

A terrible revelation of divine power

The cast of Christopher Nolan's Oppenheimer is outrageous, it's almost as monumental as the length of the film. But three hours is structured so meticulously that it's hardly an issue. Doctor J. Robert Oppenheimer was building a bomb to end all wars. They built a base (Los Alamos) in New Mexico to test this new weapon and called it The Manhattan Project. And it was the greatest scientific gamble in history. We follow Oppenheimer's life from university days to being a war hero and accused of being a hardened communist. And it's mesmerizing.

There is no now

Khaled is applying for asylum in Finland. But it's a strange and even a hostile place. Thankfully he befriends, at least sort of, a restaurateur Wilhelm and things aren't as bleak as they seem. You'll recognize the style in a heartbeat, it's trademark Aki Kaurismäki. Deadpan humour everywhere, but it comes with a serious undertone. Just brilliant. 

Caught in a whirlpool

A new prison guard no one has hardly seen before is left behind in a prison riot and he has to lie his way out to the inmates that he's one of them. An inside man is an asset to the negotiators, but what happens if the truth is revealed? Cell 211 is a rather violent Spanish prison movie with plethora of twists, but silly loopholes too.

Tomorrow the world

Victory is a strange city in a middle of a desert where husbands go to work in a secret project to a mysterious employer and unsuspecting wives are content as their roles as housewives. Until one of the ladies suspects something's not quite right in the neighborhood and intends to find the secrets of this earthly paradise. Don't Worry Darling, by Olivia Wilde, is an entertaining yet creepy dystopian movie of things being perfect yet completely out of place. An unsatisfying ending turned it down a notch though.

An excuse for evil

Sick satanic cultists kidnap the daughter of a devout Christian cop and he's obviously very grief-stricken. He wants his wee girl back and decides to infiltrate the satanic organization to raise the odds. Nick Cassavetes's God Is a Bullet is in many ways embarrassing.

Too much beauty to quit

Ok, I thought this would be good. Starring people like Ewan McGregor, Naomi Watts, Ryan Gosling and Bob Hoskins. Stay (2005) is written by David Benioff (Game of Thrones) and it's directed by Marc Forster (World War Z, A Man Called Otto, Stranger Than Fiction). But it's a fucking mess. A confusing mystery thriller with no proper plot to speak of.