Ophelia, call the police

This is real boogieman shit right here. A family's doppelgängers pay them a visit and it's stuff of nightmares. Continues the great macabre humour where Jordan Peele's previous Get Out left off. Creepily entertaining. Perhaps too persistently tried to explain the unexplainable, but still a hoot.

Don't text and swing

Elementals (air, water, fire, earth) are fucking up the planet. Or so it seems. Spiderman is travelling around Europe and meets up a supervillain Mysterio. To me, easily the worst Spider-Man movie, but read lots of good comments on this, so probably am fucken wrong.

The mind is a fragile thing

This X-Man, Jean aka Phoenix (Sophie Turner) feels betrayed by everyone, so with the recently acquired omnipotent cosmic forces, she separates herself from the organization. This is a perfect oppurtunity for an evil alien species to gain foothold on earth. Mutants fighting against each other. Total clusterfuck, but absolutely nothing new under the sun.

Killer beast on the rampage

I thought I had left the story of Dumbo - a flying elephant - on my childhood. And ordinary I wouldn't even consider seeing a Disney movie, but it however is a Tim Burton film and there's certain money back guarantee in it. And like all the good stories go, there's both the element of danger and a satisfying end. Both good characters and evil villains. A strong cast of Colin Farrell, Michael Keaton, Eva Green and Danny DeVito and, obviously, a smart baby elephant with big ears.

Haven is safe no more

There's a $14 million price tag on John Wick's head. And it guarantees that Mr. Wick leaves an innumerable body count in his wake. The way he raises hell is full of elegant and entertainment. Watching people die has never looked so groovy.

Masque of the red death

A preacher banishes alcohol, gamling and whores from a small western town Garlow. However, the first thing an outlaw gang does while residing in the town is establishing a saloon specializing on those things. The decent folks of the town - like an Irish undertaker Patrick Tate (Emily Hirsch) - are caught up in a crossfire. Literally. And the undertaker has his hands full of customers. The story in its vulgar confrontation is alright and it's pretty grim, gritty and dark, but never really properly ignites.

I heard you paint houses

Every once in a while pops up a movie that no words do enough justice. From The Good, the Bad, the Ugly to The Godfather, from Apocalypse Now to Goodfellas, from Pulp Fiction to Big Lebowski. The Irishman is one of those movies. Martin Scorsese's epic 3-hour scorcher is a masterpiece, you just sit and wonder its greatness. The quartet (Scorsese, Robert De Niro, Joe Pesci, Al Pacino) should win all the possible motion picture awards this year.

Whose funeral is this?

The 9th James Bond film, directed by Guy Hamilton in 1973, starring Roger Moore as the agent 007, Jane Seymour as the Bond girl Solitaire, Bernard Lee as Bond's superior (the head of MI6), no-one as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Yaphet Kotto as Kananga/Mr. Big, the producer of heroin, as the main antagonist. Title song performed by Paul McCartney's Wings. Evil drug dealer is set to hand out free samples of his merchadise much to the dismay of international law enforcement agencies. James Bond (Roger Moore's debut as 007) to rescue.

Wolves will be the first to engage

It's still pretty good. Pretty great at the very end. All the bloodshed, pagan rituals, viking raids and shenanigans are executed amazingly. However, his legacy too prominent to be forgotten, Ragnar Lodbrok (Travis Fimmel) still overshadows all the others, particularly his successors, all the teenage Northmen. And the British noblemen follow suit. Great moments and good overall quality though.

Surrender to failure

Was I tricked into believing Steven Avery wasn't guilty for murdering journalist Teresa Halbach? Albeit entertaining, this was hopelessly one-sided, hence biased, take on a somewhat simple murder case. I mean there must be lots of stuff that was left out. Dozens of courtroom professionals must have been presented some hard evidence that makes the case pretty waterproof. But naturally because this is a case of U.S. justice system, anything is possible I guess.

Invisible dance

There's no two ways about it, this is a brilliant mini series. Took my breath away really. There's the explosion of one of the nuclear reactors in the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant, but how close to global destruction and nuclear winter we were at time is frightening. Story of Russian self-esteem and paranoia, but also of bona fide heroes and villains.

Garden of idiots hand in hand

As far as movies go, I don't think there's nothing as unforgiven as a lousy war movie. And I honestly think this is the worst war movie I have ever seen! The real battle of the Bulge was an enormously powerful, vicious and dirty part of World War II in heavily overcast weather conditions in Belgian winter of 1944 - 1945 (depicted extremely well for instance in Band of Brothers). These guys in Wunderland, they looked like they'd stepped in from a luxury spa, put on recently tailored uniforms and sent into the forest to act in a bizarre and comical play spewing clichés back and forth. The movie is so stupid that it hurts. Oh and there's Tom Berenger - I guess he just ran away from a retirement home, wandered into the set and someone put a helmet on him.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Rather interesting a person, the Arctic explorer Norwegian Roald Amundsen. And it's a small wonder this is the first movie based on him that I've seen. He's the guy who was the first man on South Pole, and after that, while mapping out the North Pole, he, his ship and crew were stuck in ice for few years, and eventually led the first proven expedition there in 1926. Carried a truly a competitive and adventurous soul and spirit. Died on one his missions. Or better yet, vanished, his body was never found. A cool insightful film.

We are talking about space magic

Marvel's Avengers time travel to retrieve the so called Infinity Stones before the evil destroyer of the world Thanos gets them. They hop through times and evidently it's a crazy cool adventure, but to me it's just an overlong flashy freak circus.

The sun has failed

I skipped the season # 2. I reckon I only watched an episode or two and walked away. And never returned. Maybe I was busy doing other stuff or what I saw was shit. I don't remember. A few minutes on the third season and I was immediately hooked. And in matter of days I watched it all. And then I read all the negative feedback. And that's another mystery.

Cosmic windshield wiper

An L.A. PI is hired to investigate a mental institute in the city of Galveston where he adequately grew up. But the detective Carson Philips gets more than he came for, he finds himself in a web of fraud, personal affairs, drugs and murder! Like his voice-over says 'This trip is full of surprises'. The movie tries to be clever, an authentic 70s private dick picture, but it's a really badly xeroxed copy. Pretty strong cast - John Travolta, Robert Patrick, Morgan Freeman, Peter Stormare, Famke Janssen, Brendan Fraser - though.

Those who deserve a foxclove

A cashed-up couple purchase a mansion for a few million dollars from a nice old man. Turns out the former owner is still too attached to the building. In a creepy way. I kind of had great expectations of this, the films where an intruder stalks an innocent family (Cape Fear, Fatal Attraction, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, Play Misty for Me) is a great thriller genre and I thought Dennis Quaid wouldn't do a shit movie. But I was wrong.

Eve of the summertime fades to black

This dude is gay and his devout christ-fucking parents are trying to cure the lad from the terrible disease by sending him into a no-fun institute to brainwash and torture the shit out of him and other evil homosexuals within. These kind of films keep on popping up every once in a while because the world and humanity is so lazily turning into a better place. The old habits die hard. The fucking religion is too deep a scar to wash away easily.

Last kiss goodbye

With such a title - The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot - you'd expect the movie be a farce. The concept is still somewhat comedic with couple of funny shit moments, but it's still lots more serious than might believe. Calvin Barr (Sam Elliot/Aidan Turner) is a legendary - borderline mythic - soldier who assassinated Adolf Hitler and is now set to fight a nightmare plague. Rather cheap indie production, but pretty wicked nevertheless.

Who needs witches and werewolves?

A thriller stuck up too deep in its own asshole. It's influenced by the works of Alfred Hitchcock and David Lynch, quite openly so, but it's terribly lost in its own confusing bullshit. Hollywood young adult hipsters interests revolve around parties, threat of a killer of dogs and a band called Jesus and the Brides of Dracula. The movie thinks it's clever with subliminal multidimensional messages, but it's just an endless mess of unwoven threads.