Thursday, October 17, 2019

The dude is on fire

Funny how you're not too much but kind of exited they made a full-lenght movie for the Breaking Bad series of 5 seasons and it's almost but not quite a match to its excellence and yet you still begin to wish there'd be a follow-up to the follow-up.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Hell on the loose

Shin Godzilla (2016). Gigantic radioactive beast Gojira aka Godzilla rises from the sea leaving a devastation in its wake. Humans bombard it with bullets, bombs and rockets, but the fucker keeps on destroying cities. I know any better, maybe the Godzilla keynote is B movie garbage, maybe it's fucking brilliant satire, who knows. The beast looked like a lifeless cardboard turkey, I had a good laugh about a minute or two.

Chained to a radiator

It's not that shit as it looks and sounds. A tearjerker, syrupy as fuck a movie, but in a good way. A couple adopts three foster children and it's pretty wild, weepy and funny the whole deal.

The one who crosses the horizon

A Baltasar Kormákur film based on a true story. A recently engaged couple sail across the Pacific, from Tahiti to San Diego. They get seriously wrecked by a storm and are adrift on the unforgiven sea torn up, wounded and barely able to function. The ship is fucked to shit as well. Seen lots better survival movies, but this one did its bit alright.

No one's indestructible

The eight James Bond film, directed by Guy Hamilton in 1971, starring Sean Connery as the agent 007, Jill St. John as the Bond Girl Tiffany Case, Bernard Lee as Bond's superior (the head of MI6), Desmond Llewelyn as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Charles Gray as Blofeld, the head of SPECTRE, as the main antagonist. Title song sung by Shirley Bassey. A shit story of terrorists stealing diamonds to build a super rocket. The last Bond movie by Sean Connery.

Sunday, October 06, 2019

Towards the oblivion of dreams

An indie crime drama doused in melancholy. However, it just doesn't really know its place in the world and doesn't give anything but pointless chit-chat and hypocritical moments that beg for viewers sympathy, altho it truly is but boring drivel.

Sometimes loyalty comes at a price

The original, the Norwegian one, starring Swedish Stellan Skarsgård, In Order of Disappearance (2014), was bloody hilarious and so entertaining that naturally they had to make a Hollywood remake, with the same director, Hans Petter Moland, no less. To come to think of the story, it's perfectly tailored for Liam Neeson. An elderly guy in distress as there are harmdoers against his family and he's willing to attack a cluster of evil people by himself. Not bad as such, but rather pointless to do a remake so soon.

Dynasty of death

They've kidnapped the fucking president of Russia! With the help of Russian submarine crew, the heroes of the day are the yankees who execute a daring mission to free the leader and save the world from World War III or worse! It's like cats and dogs fighting against a common enemy and it's so cute. Gerald Butler as US submarine captain Joe Glass, Michael Nyqvist (on one his final roles before his untimely death) as Russin submarine captain Andropov and Gary Oldman taking his money before disappearing into the horizon.

Wednesday, October 02, 2019

Buried by time and dust

I doubt Per Yngve Ohlin (Dead) or Øystein Aarseth (Euronymous) would recognize themselves in Jonas Åkerlund's Lords of Chaos, wouldn't want to at least. They are both dead, the former by his own choosing, the latter viciously murdered by Kristian Vikernes (Count Grishnackh). All musicians. Otherwise based on a relatively short period of time in the early 90s when a musical genre 'true Norwegian Black Metal' thrived and gained world wide attention with church burnings and killings of few people. Can't really make my mind, the movie is actually better than I expected, but on the other hand, they have taken great liberties with the actual events and cut corners a lot. And due to reason or another, they made all these musicians and people in the scene look like absolute fucking retards.

Sunday, September 29, 2019

Celebrate the sunshine

Like a friend of mine said Escape at Dannemora is a brilliant mini-series altho every character is despicable. Yes, they all are either vile, plain assholes or magnificently stupid. But, damn, what an incredible treat. An utter joy to watch. Benicio Del Toro, Patricia Arquette, Paul Dano, David Morse and Eric Lange with superb performances. They say it's based on a true story, of a real prison escape and people willingly or unwillingly playing a role on the events and the manhunt that followed within.

Back from the dead

Gotta compare this to the earlier Pet Sematary (1989) and not the Stephen King novel (1983) because I remember fuck all of the latter. Can't say which one is more loyal and accurate to the story and it does not really matter. The '89 piece was alright, scary and eerie at the right places, this ain't. Just a messy pick-and-mix of scary shit. Man digs up his recently passed away daughter only to re-bury her at an Indian burial ground.

Monday, September 23, 2019

Satan's holiday home

King Arthur himself chopped up a great plague witch to several pieces and buried the parts in different locations. Now they are building up the witch, literally piece by piece. To remain the greatest beast on Earth, Hellboy must stop this crazy project. The series is still entertaining, kinda funny, harmless cartoonish nonsense. David Harbour as Hellboy, Ian McShane as his father and Milla Jovovich as Nimue, the undead queen of witches.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Sieg Heil, Mutterfickers!

After Earth dying, people are co-existing with the moon nazis on the dark side of the moon. Everyone has lost their hope and their only way of escape of reality is a cultish religion Jobsist, followers of Steve Jobs. Obi Washington is the only one trying to keep the place and people from falling apart because the leader of the moon - her mother - is dying of something sinister. Obi meets the Moon Fuhrer (Udo Kier) and learns there's secret elixir at the center of the Earth that can make miracles happen. She must find the entrance to the hollow Earth in nuclear winter and onboard are her friends and foes. What lies ahead takes everyone's breath away. Another cool Iron Sky adventure.

Beware the quiet man

Christian Bale is outstanding, sensational, as Dick Cheney, the ruthless former Vice President of U.S.A. He makes everyone else - Steve Carell, Amy Adams, Sam Rockwell - look like fucking mannequins. And otherwise too, Vice is a good, fantastically woven story, at times wonderfully courageous and unorthodox film making. Proper shit.

Monday, September 16, 2019

Crawling through a river of shit

I didn't intend to watch The Shawshank Redemption. It came from the TV, I watched the first 15 minutes and, as I was tired, I contemplated of shutting it down at the first commercial break. But I didn't. It's one of those movies that grabs you for a drive and you can't let go. The greatest movie of all time, don't necessarily agree, but said everywhere, so it's gotta be true.

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Life is like an empty cylinder

Patrick deWitt's The Sisters Brothers is one of the funniest western adventures I've ever read. It's possible my memory doesn't serve me right, but anyways the movie (directed by Jacques Audiard) ain't as thoroughly funny, sarcastic and wild as the novel. It kind of tries to be, at the beginning at least, but the atmosphere navigates towards more sombre vibrations. By no means, it doesn't mean it wasn't a good movie, it is, just didn't give what I came in for and, in all honesty, it doesn't quite know what it's trying to say. Bounty hunters and prospectors and the infamous western chief The Commodore (the great Rutger Hauer in one of his final roles) in search of chemical formula to find gold.

Monday, September 09, 2019

It's all neurochemistry

Even if you're dead, for few hours even, the neurological data is still accessible, so taking the biological brain and imprinting it into a synthetic one, they can replicate the human mind. You're good as new, probably host a new body, but cloned to perfection still. Sounds easy and simple. But the question is should the dead remain dead. Keanu Reeves is a scientist William Foster who violates every natural law on earth, and beyond, when his family is stricken with a terrible tragedy. The whole thing was doomed to begin with, but if you forget all the foolishness, it's pretty entertaining. Or better yet, because of the foolishness, it's entertaining. Can't tell. Does not matter.

Thursday, August 29, 2019

Anger represents the enemy

Offers absolutely nothing emotionally. No entertainment. No bewilderment. No unbridled joy. No rage. No amusement. No thrills. No disappointment. It's just frivolous mumbo jumbo. Brainless Marvel crap that you watch because you have nothing better to do and you are thankful when it's finally over. You got nothing new, you learned nothing.

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

One man, and one man alone

This is by far the greatest movie about terrorism I've ever seen. Prophetically it was released just couple of years before 9/11, had they postponed the production it would have never seen the light of day. Damn cool thriller, borderline horror, with the intensive oppressive atmosphere embracing the story, taking paranoia to whole another level as well. And the ending is just mesmerizing in its hopelessness.

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Bust into a silo and steal some corn

Wanted to see something that I had seen before and knew wasn't going to disappoint. Kind of a satisfaction guaranteed deal. Nebraska. Upfront family Grant's trip from Montana to Nebraska to claim a million-dollar Mega Sweepstakes Marketing prize. A beautiful and fun and outstandingly well written film.

Until we settle on a sewer grate

Watching farcical comedies like this more than once in a blue moon would be too much, but when viewed very infrequently, one can actually en...