Squash 'em down

Quite a cool low-key indie crime thingy directed by actor Macon Blair who himself has starred in similar movies such as Blue Ruin and Green Room. A woman is burglarized and while investigating the case herself she teams up with a neighbor metalhead. Even if it's supposed to be a sort of dark comedy, it turns pretty gory in the end.

Bird never make nest in bare tree

The sixth James Bond film, directed by Lewis Gilbert in 1967, starring Sean Connery as the agent 007, Akiko Wakabayashi and Mie Hama as the Bond girls Aki and Kissy Suzuki, Bernard Lee as Bond's superior (the head of MI6), Desmond Llewelyn as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Donald Pleasance as Blofeld, the head of SPECTRE, as the main antagonist. Title song sung by Nancy Sinatra. They frame 007's death, so he can discreetly investigate the case involving kidnapped spacecrafts. James Bond is back in proper action after the Casino Royale catastrophe.

For the love of shit

I reckon this was done under the watchful eyes of the remaining Queen members, so Bohemian Rhapsody gives a onesided, slicked, even lazy and easily digestable portrayal of the band and its vocalist Freddie Mercury. There's suprisingly little to grab hold of, a typical biopic, probably all the juiciest bits evened out and their biggest assets - their songs and song writing - are left without too much attention. And not to take anything away from Rami Malek's performance, but his flamboyance was a tad too excessive and it just looked like actor doing his job, nothing too remarkable.

Tales from the dead west

Season #9 of The Walking Dead. Once again, I seriously contemplated of  leaving it at that and just drop watching the series. I don't like most of the characters any longer, it's full of shit episodes, but the ones that aren't shit are extraordinary good therefore it's still watchable and I'm anticipating the following season.

Fascist in a good way

Well, I had nothing to do, so to put something on to pass the time, but not wasting it, I knew this one should guarantee a few laughs. And it sure did. A few scenes are so hilarious and vulgar that you are either disgusted and insulted or laughing your tits off.

No place for a priest

There's a hotel El Royale built exactly between the border of California and Nevada. The hotel has mysteries of its own, but the strangers who meet there by chance add even more enigma to the story. One of the best movies this year, no doubt, wonderful stylistic film noir, a proper mystery thriller, enhanced by lush colourful cinematography. Drew Goddard's (The Cabin in the Woods) second full-lenght feature.

This Boogeyman is real

Oh shit, Michael Myers escapes after 40 years of incarceration! He butchers everyone who stands in his way and particularly his old nemesis Lauri Strode should be extra wary because the stark raving lunatic is out for a revenge! I expected nothing therefore the ferocity of Michael Myers' wrath was warmly welcomed.

Turning our spitfires to face them

Set in a prison camp in Nazi Germany in 1944. The movie, frankly, has cheapness and amateurism written all over it. It looks like they built up the set at some piggery somewhere, filled it up with drama school drop-outs and hoped it looks like an authentic prison camp. And the story, well, apparently the prisoners in those places hunted cats, built radios, knitted socks and particularly made violins to kill time. Must have been fun times. Based on actual events, so it's gotta be true. Not that bad a movie though, but leaves something to be desired.

Three hidden keys to three magic gates

People's lives are so miserable in overpopulated and shitstained world that the only way of escape is a worldwide virtual reality called Oasis where you can be anyone and anything you want. Oasis is full of adventures and even secrets that open new oppurtunities. Ready Player One is a part sci-fi adventure and part animated feature. Kind of colourful high-tech pop culture hipster shit and geeks love it.

Scarred for life

I reckon this is not the best - definitely not the funniest - things Ricky Gervais has penned, but After Life has certain charm at least. Widower Tony mourns the death of his wife and considers offing himself as well. Full of brilliant laconic humour that can easily fly by if you aren't used to the style Ricky Gervais is known for. He seamlessly debates on issues of kindness, happiness, misery and vulgar laughs on a same sentence. Makes people laugh and cry at the same time. Makes After Life a memorable series and having said that, in the end, it's one of his best productions.

A good matador doesn't kill a fresh bull

The first season of Billions. The greatest surprises are the gifts you least expect. Like this one. On a table, say, mere synopsis concerned this series is about head-to-head rivalry between U.S. attorney and hedge fund businessman. Boring. I should not care less. But in truth, it's done with so much vigour, intelligence and sense of excitement that it grabs you for a ride of total entertainment. Damian Lewis and Paul Giamatti lead an absolutely stellar cast and writing turns insignificant and far-off subjects into one of the most interesting things we've ever followed.

Like raven's wing at midnight

The fifth James Bond film, directed by Val Guest, Ken Hughes, John Huston, Joseph McGrath, Robert Parrish and Richard Talmadge in 1967, starring David Niven as the agent 007, Ursula Andress as the Bond girl Vesper Lynd, John Huston as Bond's superior M (the head of MI6), Geoffrey Bayldon as 'Q' (the head of Q division), Barbara Bouchet as Miss Moneypenny (MI6 secretary) and Woody Allen as Dr. Noah, the head of SMERSH, the main antagonist. Most likely the worst movie I have ever seen.

The greatest mystery of heavens

Martians are turning smalltown citizens into mutants! An unknown flying object lands in a sandpile, hides and eats people for breakfast! Unwillingly but understandably corny scifi cult movie from 1953.

Safe from own memory

Dan Merrick is in a near-fatal car accident and after he wakes up from a coma he's lost most of his memory. As the secrets are coming out, digging up his past is a painful - bits gruesome - mission. Late 80s and early 90s thrillers starring either Tom Berenger or Tom Selleck were my guilty pleasures and it's nice to reminiscence the past.

Chains are broken

David Kim's daughter disappears and he starts tracking down her whereabouts on social media only to find out he knew his daughter hardly at all. The big question is did she disappear by her own choice, did she kill herself, was she kidnapped possibly killed by a stranger or someone she knew? This was built excellently, a little off-kilter from the traditional ways of movie making, using social media networks as the platform unfolding the story. The story that moved forwards like a burning fuse to a barrel of gunpowder.

Waiting for death's cold embrace

This is so typical crime comedy that I thought they'd stopped doing them. Gambling debts grown out of proportions, cheating, blackmailing, hired gun taking care of loose ends, couple of twists and turns - it's clichéd to hell and back yet it's still rather funny, funky and groovy.

All those guns to kill one man

I thought I had seen all the films starring Clint Eastwood, but somehow Joe Kidd has slipped under the radar. It has an amazing line-up: starring Clint Eastwood, John Saxon and Robert Duvall, music by Lalo Schifrin (Mission: Impossible, Bullitt, Cool Hand Luke), it's written by Elmore Leonard and directed by John Sturges (The Magnificent Seven, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral). All is well, a lovely little gem from 1972. Joe Kidd is a town drunk, trouble maker and hunter of people and animals. He's playing it cool when landowners are busy shooting each other.

The corner of another world

Ryan Gosling as Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon. The film, it's many ways excellent, it's a sensitive biopic, spot-on drama on true life and a very detailed take on the 60s US space program. The life of an astronaut however is somewhat boring at times and they have it there as well.

Pain will journey with us

Basically it's just a story of the first dog. This dude 20,000 years ago gets lost from his tribe and by sheer accident tames a wild dog. And alright little thing because dogs are nice and our ancestors are pretty cool as well.

Forever bothering individuals

Tiny Marvel creatures are fighting for a superior quantum technology in molecular disequilibrium. I grew tired of the story after the first 15 minutes, but finished the rest of the movie because I had nothing better to do and I still had hope it would turn into something good. Fat chance.

Parched by the sun

A grumpy old man gets even more grumpier when his wife kicks the bucket. With nothing looming on the horizon, he prepares to die himself, making his own coffin and all. However when there's his granddaughter knocking on the door, things are about to change. Hard to get too offended by drama comedies where the acting bit is done with passion, but offers so little otherwise.

Never go on vacation

A documentary of two Finnish businesses. The other one - selling pulled oats - is a groundbreaking, inventive, modern company trying to reach international markets. And the other one sells heirloom meat and runs a derelict funfair in small Finnish villages. The movie displays the sheer hard work and extra dose of energy that is needed in entrepreneurship. And the toll it sometimes quite dramatically takes.

The wizard of thousand kings

They defend this movie saying it's 'fun' which is pretty desparate because everyone else seems to be shouting it's a travesty of the original Venom, the graphic novel of pretty violent and vile nature. I don't read graphic novels, so I don't care, but to me the funniness in the movie was just tasteless and the creature merely a household pet.

Ritches to the conjurer

The writer/author Ari Aster knows his art. Hereditary is quite near perfect old-school horror. It's rich in oppressing dark ambience, it tickles your mind with sudden shocking thrills and disturbing silent moments, allusive mysticism, ghosts and spirits. One of those movies you want to see immediately again to find and pinpoint all the hidden clues that lead to the resolution in the ending.

Slaves of lust

It ain't too tempting to be a prisoner in a Thai Department of Corrections. Heroin addict Billy Moore's last straw of survival is his boxing skills. A Prayer Before Dawn is fair and square prison movie, it looks pretty grim although I suspect doing time in Thailand is in fact even worse. In the risk of losing authenticity however I wish they'd they had done something with the story, it's a bit thin to be honest.

It's boring to talk to a corpse

There's a monster roaming around northern England. American David survives a werewolf attack, but according to a friend, Jack, who is caught up in a limbo between life and death, David will become a lycanthrope himself when the moon is full. Directed by John Landis in 1981 and it's still pretty funky and cool. And you realize its importance once you've read some trivia of the film (first film to earn the Academy Award for Best Make-up, John Landis' personal favorite film of his own, influential to Michael Jackson's Thriller video, and so on).

A killer dressed up as a hero

Confusingly fast-paced thriller of U.S. intelligence people after five pounds of highly dangerous nuclear powder. The story is suffocated under a chaotic cinematography and it's boring in its highspeed nonsense and mindless action.

Shake a tail feather

British secret service agency MI7 has been cyberattacked exposing all its secret agents therefore they need to call for a retired agent to find the terrorist. Johnny English is the man to save the British Intelligence from total humiliation and through chaos and 'funny' shit he gets things done. I have nothing against the Johnny English franchise or Rowan Atkinson comedy at such, but it is getting more and more embarrassing. At least it didn't make me laugh, not once, so perhaps my sense of humour is outdated and I am a humourless git for evermore.

An offering of blood

I haven't paid too much attention on how many Saw movies have been made because the only one that made a difference is the debut. Jigsaw is another sequeal and even though I read that the notorious culprit was killed in one of the previous sequels, he's quite well alive and murderous again. Trivial horror soap opera.

Fuhgedaboudit

FBI agent Joseph D. Pistone had to be involved in heinous things to gain confidence from crime family. Donnie Brasco is one of the greatest - yet oddly forgotten - mafia movies of all time. It's quite brutal, and the short, violent and fiery gangsta life full of paranoia is depicted to perfection. And still Al Pacino's role as a kind of sympathetic main guy stands out.

Brush the dust away

Five Yankee mercenaries have a plan to execute a heist worth of few hundred million dollars and kill a bad Brazilian drug lord. They've really thought it through, they are true professionals, it would be a miracle of anything would go wrong. However halfway through the mission they turn into morons and everything turns to shit. I don't get it how they lost so much potential in so little time in this movie. The first 30 minutes in and I thought I was in a one of the best action movies of the year, but it turned into a pretty laughable farce to be honest.

Storm the gates of the fallen ones

Robert McCall is a cab (or Lyft) driver, but whenever he has free time keeps himself occupied with neighborhood watch. Be it kidnapped children, yuppies messing with date drugs, hustlers on the block, or illegal graffiti, he's on the case. However when his friend is brutally murdered he steps into a dangerous world of international crime. The film continues where The Equalizer (#1) left off. All in all a very thin story, nothing too memorable or mind-blowing, but kind of fun and good enough.

Humans are parasites

Tina is a kooky and misshapen customs official who senses or smells if something ain't quite up to the norm. She's so sensitive in fact that the local police department quite happily utilizes her skills. However Tina ain't too happy with her current life, living deep in the woods in Sweden with her boring husband. She likes the wildlife alright, bonds with foxes and wolves and all the other Nordic creatures. Until she meets another troll-like human, bestial instincts ignite and bizarre truth of things unfold. Based on John Ajvide Lindqvist (Let the Right One in) novel and this modern fairytale is both disgusting and scary.

Living according to bitchy mood swings

A writer with a crippling writer's block and an actress making an international career are a couple. The author hasn't done shit for his career the past few years and the actress, against her true beliefs, gets trifling roles in motion pictures. They are both frustrated and suffocated in their own artistry. The director Aleksi Salmenperä is the greatest Finnish director on the field right now, Tyhjiö equals his best works Häiriötekijä (2015) and Paha Perhe (2010). Full of crazy painful irony and witty chuckles.

Power to the people

Such a big fuzz about nothing. Started out great, but somewhere along the line BlacKkKlansman lost its focus and Spike Lee's inability as a director took the reins. Important - still valid - issues, historical embarrassments, were scrutinized and the first half of the movie looked so much like an entertaining motion picture without the underlining political agenda that took hold later and where the entertaintment simply just vanished. Lots of potential, but fucked itself blind.

From chaos to glory

One of the funniest mini series that I have ever seen. Probably won't go down to the people who haven't witnessed the absurd world in the ferries between Finland and Sweden in real life. The fact that this tragicomedy stirred in a bowl of black humour is actually out there day-in-day-out makes it even more funnier.

Start a war with everyone

DEA conspires a civil war between two Mexican drug cartels only to find out they have an outraging bodycount and one kidnapped girl in their hands. The first Sicario still fresh in mind, losing magical director (Denis Villeneuve) and brilliant contradictive character Kate Macer (Emily Blunt), Sicario 2: Soldado does alright, proper action and thrills, but still somewhat focuses on the wrong things.

Land of the wolves

Picked up Sicario because its successor is on line in few weeks time. DEA, CIA and FBI have to work with another evil to get to and annihilate the other. I hope the follow-up is anywhere near as cool brutal shit as this one.

Humans deliberately malfunction

Quadriplegic Grey Trace gets an oppurtunity to avenge his wife's murder. He's implanted an illegal microship so he can walk and operate again, but little did they know that the super chip has a mind of its own and, at best, can break all hell loose. Wonderfully refreshing - even funny - scifi crime noir.

Living in the past is dying in present

Every May for 30 years a group of men have played a game of tag because playing keeps them young and literally untouchable Jerry is a resilient little devil that no one has ever caught. Perfect example of the decline of western humour.

Crushing through the bones

There's a secret world beneath the Mariana Trench and it's the kingdom of the great super shark species called megalodon. People tresspass their privacy and they are out to get a revenge. Too bad the massive prehistoric killing machines are just supporting actors because the people spew out ridiculous clichés like there was no tomorrow.

Blissful ignorance

Had there not been the 1973 Papillon film with Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman, this (with Charlie Hunnan and Rami Malek) would have been more than alright. I just can't get away from comparing between these two and, frankly, there's no way whatsoever the new one stands the comparison. Somehow I'm still glad they did it, it was interesting to see it, a decent enough an attempt.

Relentless purple butterflies

Mom acts against all logic when her son is kidnapped. Actually everyone else is oblivious to the heinous crime taking place even though the mom and kidnappers leave a high-speed car chase, couple of car crashes and one dead cop on a busy highway behind. The only thing more annoying is Halle Berry's character who constantly speaks to herself. It's an often occurring 'mistake', it only reveals that the filmmakers fail to deliver an option how to keep viewers up to date with the story.

Be kind for everyone's fighting hard battle

Auggie ain't quite an elephant man but he has facial differences enough to get bullied and ridiculed at school. Basically, it's the same story that has been told a thousand times, but the rollercoaster of emotions hits its mark, so much so that I truly wished it hadn't an unhappy ending.

The souls of men

The cover of the DVD has Ethan Hawke wielding a gun and it also says 'from the producer of John Wick.' Didn't bother reading the synopsis on the back cover. Hawke's character is a semi-retired super agent who dies, is temporarily fixed and has only 24 hours to live but a few hundred people to kill. That's exactly the sort of shit you expect from the producer of John Wick, if bullets are fired from left to right, there's no need for anything profound. And if you add enough useless flashbacks, there's enough to go by and call it a full-lenght feature film. Probably the worst movie I've seen thus far this year.

King of madness

Catching up with the Derren Brown shows I've missed before from Netflix. With a selected group of elderly he cleverly executes an art robbery. Yet again, the hoax is brilliant.

Down the road apiece

CIA and FBI were too busy measuring their dicks than co-operating with each other to inflitrate and properly investigate Al Qaida cells before the '98-'01 terrorists attacks (most notoriously in Kenya, Yemen and the World Trade Center) took place. The Looming Tower grabbed my interest immediately, as far as I know it's mostly based on true events, the characters were real people, so seeing how things played out is - in spite of the horrible consequences - exciting and entertaining. Jeff Daniels - in particular - as FBI's counter terrorism expert John O'Neill excelled.

Pigs have wings

A boy barely out of school gets what he wished and serves in the trenches of the frontline of the First World War. He finds out that war is hell and most of the veterans are either mad or act insensitive, but they all are scared out of their tits because the Germans are coming for the final kill. Solid British war drama, tension and thrills built up nicely and splendid performances throughout the line.

The ballad of man on fire

With the boxing movies you kinda know what you get. In Jawbone there's a boxer gone astray. He's a lonely penniless alcoholic about to get evicted from his childhood home. He gets a second chance and you just see where it goes from there; baby steps to get back into profession, Alcoholics Anonymous, the final fight, the whole nine yards. Not bad, but easily forgettable.

When the lizards sleep

WWII, former athlete, baseball player Moe Berg has been assigned to locate - possibly assassinate - Werner Heisenberg, German physicist and principal scientist in the Nazi German nuclear weapon project. Paul Rudd does alright as the secretive agent as does the rest of the famed cast (Paul Giamatti, Tom Wilkinson, Mark Strong, Jeff Daniels, Guy Pearce), but unfortunately the movie looks like bad TV drama.