Some serious shits about to go down

A perfect example on how a movie with a decent cast can go wrong - terribly wrong - with a confusing script and aimless direction. Noomi Rapace, John Malkovich, Toni Collette, Orlando Bloom and Michael Douglas are all lost and out of reach of their given talents, they look like cheap emotionless mannequins. Some kind of terrorist threat is looming in the city of London and CIA and MI5 are making themselves look stupid.

Adventures calling beyond the faraway stars

A fairly quick read. There's the professional career of Marco Hietala, bass player and singer in bands like Nightwish, Tarot, Sinergy and Raskasta Joulua, and there's his personal life where he has had a fair deal of unease with depression and keeping relationships going. And as he's a Finnish musician, there's the issue of alcohol, the excessive use of it. Liked it how it didn't go into details too much, just an interesting cutback of his career.

Ain't no love because it ain't around

This has something to offer to the trendy genre of ultra violent movies. It's surprisingly funny, it's thrilling high octane action (i.e. some of the best car chase scenes I've ever seen) and it's delivered well (particularly Samuel L. Jackson is on his element). The title pretty much sums the story up, two hitmen are on the run from the police and Russian mafia, a buddy movie of sort.

2017

MOVIES

The Accountant (Gavin O'Connor)
Arrival (Denis Villeneuve)
Collateral (Michael Mann)
David Brent: Life on the Road (Ricky Gervais)
Desierto (Jonás Cuarón)
Don't Breathe (Fede Alvarez)
Double Indemnity (Billy Wilder)
Eput (Saku Pollari)
Get Out (Jordan Peele)
Graduation (Cristian Mungiu)
Green Room (Jeremy Saulnier)
Hell or High Water (David Mackenzie)
I, Daniel Blake (Ken Loach)
It Comes At Night (Trey Edward Shults)
Järven Tarina (Ville Suhonen, Kim Saarniluoto)
Kelly's Heroes (Brian G. Hutton)
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (Guy Ritchie)
Kong: Skull Island (Jordan Vogt-Roberts)
The Magnificent Seven (Antoine Fuqua)
Mine (Fabio Guaglione, Fabio Resinaro)
Murder on the Orient Express (Sidney Lumet)
Nocturnal Animals (Tom Ford)
One More Time with Feeling (Andrew Dominik)
Our Kind of Traitor (Susanna White)
A Perfect Day (Fernando León de Aranoa)
Paterson (Jim Jarmusch)
Patriots Day (Peter Berg)
Perfect Strangers (Paolo Genovese)
Remember (Atom Egoyan)
Rope (Alfred Hitchcock)
Split (M. Night Shyamalan)
A Street Cat Named Bob (Roger Spottiswoode)
Sully (Clint Eastwood)
Toivon tuolla puolen (Aki Kaurismäki)
Wheelman (Jeremy Rush)
Ukonvaaja (Tuukka Tähti)
Yhden tähden hotelli (Ari Matikainen)

TV-SERIES

Better Call Saul
Fargo
Midnight Sun
Narcos
The Night Manager
The Night Of
Quarry
River
Taboo
Vikings

GAMES

Battlefield 1
Call of Duty WWII
Ghost Recon Wildlands

R.I.P.

Iiris (my darling girl) born 2006
Martin E. Ain (bass player, Celtic Frost) born 1967 (age 50)
Gregg Allman (musician, The Allman Brothers) born 1947 (age 69)
John G. Avildsen (director, Rocky) born 1935 (age 81)
Chester Bennington - (vocalist, Linkin Park) born 1976 (age 41)
Chuck Berry (musician) born 1926 (age 90)
Powers Boothe (actor, Deadwood, Southern Comfort) born 1948 (age 68)
Brent Briscoe (actor, A Simple Plan, Green Mile) born 1961 (age 56)
Keith Chegwin (actor, Extras, Shaun Of The Dead) born 1957 (age 60)
Tony Cohen (music producer, The Cruel Sea) born 1957 (age 60)
Fred Cole (musician, Dead Moon) born 1948 (age 69)
Chris Cornell (musician, Soundgarden) born 1984 (age 52)
Robert Dahlqvist (musician, The Hellacopters, Thunder Express) born 1976 (age 41)
Jonathan Demme (director, The Silence Of The Lambs) born 1944 (age 73)
Colin Dexter (author, Inspector Morse) born 1930 (age 86)
Nelsan Ellis (actor, True Blood) born 1978 (39 years)
Miguel Ferrer (actor, Twin Peaks, Robocop, The Stand) born 1955 (age 62)
Börje Forsberg (music producer, Bathory) born 1944 (age 73)
Glenne Headly (actress, ER, The Night Of) born 1955 (age 62)
John Heard (actor, The Sopranos, Awakenings) born 1945 (age 72)
Hugh Hefner (playboy) born 1926 (age 91)
Tobe Hooper (director, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) born 1943 (age 74)
John Hurt (actor, Alien, The Elephant Man, Midnight Express) born 1940 (age 77)
Leena Kaskela (news anchor) born 1939 (age 77)
Gorden Kaye (actor, 'Allo 'Allo!) born 1941 (age 76)
Helmut Kohl (Chancellor of Germany) born 1930 (age 87)
Mauno Koivisto (president) born 1923 (age 93)
Jake LaMotta (boxer) born 1921 (age 96)
Martin Landau (actor, Ed Wood, North By Northwest) born 1928  (age 89)
Sonny Landham (actor, Predator) born 1941 (age 76)
Jerry Lewis (actor, The King of Comedy) born 1926 (age 91)
Gabriel 'Negru' Mafa (musician, Negura Bunget) born 1975 (age 42)
Antti Majanlahti (actor, Häräntappoase) born 1966 (age 50)
Donald Malarkey (war hero, Easy Company) born 1921 (age 96)
Charles Manson (cult leader) born 1934 (age 83)
Roger Moore (actor, James Bond) born 1927 (age 89)
Pekka Myllykoski (musician, Freud Marx Engels & Jung) born 1959 (age 57)
Manuel Noriega (dictator, Panama) born 1934 (age 83)
Jan-Peter Nybom (friend) born 1975 (age 42)
Michael Nyqvist (actor, Män some hatar kvinnor) born 1960 (age 56)Bill Paxton (actor, Frailty, Tombstone, A Simple Plan)  born 1955 (age 6
Tom Petty (musician) born 1950 (age 66)
Kyösti Pietiläinen (soldier) born 1945 (age 71)
Don Rickles (actor, Casino, Kelly's Heroes) born 1926 (age 90)
George A. Romero (director, Night Of The Living Dead, Dawn Of The Dead) born 1940 (age 77)
Sam Shepard (actor, playwright, Black Hawk Down, The Pledge) born 1943 (age 73)
Harry Dean Stanton (actor, Wild At Hart, Repo Man) born 1926 (age 91)
Tony "It" Särkkä (musician, Abruptum, Ophthalamia, Vondur, War) born 1972 (age 45)
Cheick Tioté (footballer, Newcastle United) born 1986 (age 30)
Mika Vainio (musician, Pan Sonic) born 1963 (age 54)
Frank Vincent (actor, The Sopranos) born 1937 (age 80)
Adam West (Batman) born 1928 (age 88)
Malcolm Young (musician, AC/DC) born 1953 (64 years)

Working class hero

Spiderman: Homecoming. Not bad at all. Maybe underlines the issue too much that Spiderman is the least powerful of the superheroes and the story focuses on how Peter Parker fails to deliver. But even if it punches comical hooks from left and right, they usually hit the target and the action is executed in truly dazzling manner.

Something wicked this way comes

This is a bit different biography - that's both criticism and praise. The Iron Maiden vocalist Bruce Dickinson knowingly leaves out a bulk of his personal background - nothing about his girlfriends or wife or wives, his family or friends - not that it's all too essential in any biographies, at least it's never too interesting. He also writes very little of the band Iron Maiden, almost nothing compared to its significance on his career and life. What's left then? His hobbies fencing and aviation. Beating cancer. His passion for writing and discovering new things. There's a whole lot of everything and virtually nothing at the same time.

Snow falls to hide the blood

Amazing how the Coen brothers' Fargo film has escalated into a TV series that is wholesomely good to watch. The wits they've put into the whole deal - and even the tiniest details - is mesmerising. Follows the trend that it's downright useless to pay any attention to feature films because there's no way they can compete with the same magnitude of brilliance and perfection in storytelling as television series.

There is more paradise in hell than we've been told

In this documentary feature Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds record their "Skeleton Tree" album and in between the takes the film mourns the tragic death of Arthur Cave, the son of Nick Cave and Susie Bick. Visually engaging piece, at times you feel like you are trespassing the grieving people's privacy and at the same time there's this incredible music in the making.

You can't trust anyone but family

I liked the way they kept the story hidden. Apparently the world is fucked, some kind of disease is wiping out the mankind and the handful of people who have survived the epidemic try their dearest to stay safe. You are so fixated on keeping yourself and your family alive that everything else is suspicious and potentially deadly. There's nothing terribly new here, but good enough.

The arches of rust

Some part of me gets twisted satisfaction of seeing bullshit movies and this is right on that ballpark. Everything is fucking askew, probably the most flawed (also the worst) movie I have seen all year. Mall cops protect a witness from a group of professional contract killers. Gotta see to believe, it's like a parody of a real action movie.

Wallowing shores asunder

I cringed with second-hand embarrassment. People - Black Metal musicians - from Iran, Greece and Columbia take a worshipping journey to the Mecca of Black Metal, Norway. They meet local musicians from bands like Keep Of Kalessin and Darkthrone. Well, the Norwegian guys seem great, really down-to-earth funny people, but I hope the depiction of the other guys - the pilgrims - ain't that accurate in real life. The Iranian metalhead seems to be a fine sympathetic guy, but the Columbians are naive and too fucking serious, and the politically aware Greeks humourless gits.

Cricket behind the wheel

A Netflix original. One of the 'less is more' -films. Basically just a guy with a getaway car and a bagful of stolen money that is wanted by everyone. Everything in the movie happens in the vicinity of automobile and the wheelman (excellent Frank Grillo) is at almost every frame. Directed superbly (Jeremy Rush) hence one of hell of a thriller.

Putting on a barbecue

Vegan girl begins her studies at vet school and grows a fetish on raw meat. In fact takes carnivorism on a whole new level. Acclaimed French film ('future cult classic') that I found surprisingly tedious.

They are not like people

I looked at the cover and thought this was a family movie of zookeepers and their lovely little zoo with a group of amazingly cute animals. Soon realized this was something completely different. A zoo, but a war-torn derelict one and the animals mostly slaughtered. Set in Warsaw in the beginning of WWII and the nazi occupation. Story of people trying to save as many jews from the Holocaust as possible. Reminiscence of Schindler's List, another true story, although not quite as emotionally stirring and, quite frankly, these people couldn't deliver such powerful omnipotent presence as people like Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson. But nevertheless enough an intesive piece of the harrowing times.

Don't run for the priest

Surgeon Finnur suspects his daughter's new boyfriend is up to no good and soon he's neck-deep involved with Reykjavik's criminal underworld. Particularly the son-in-law candidate is an excruciating pain in the ass, so revengeful measures must be taken. Lots of potential in the story, at times fascinating thriller, but not belonging to the finest moments in Scandinavian Film Noir.

The great darkness simmering within

I think this one doesn't pale in comparision with other superhero movies. In fact, it's quite good. It's nicely set in the time of the Great War and blends it with ancient mythology and superheroism quite alright. The lenght (2:20) was too much, but luckily it was entertaining when it wasn't boring me to death.

Road to peace

A group of Texan military men return home after a tour in Iraq. Heralded as heroes and everyone's little military puppets, it's a bit strange and unusual for the boys, so they grow a little dislike for the circus surrounding them. Fortunately the director Ang Lee doesn't gnaw too much on the patriotism bone, on the contrary perhaps, but it's still surprisingly effortless piece.

Fear is the most intoxicating sensation

A Guy Ritchie film and the trademark upbeat Guy Ritchie storytelling is put to use in the legend of the King Arhur's sword (Excalibur). Of course all the nerdy wankers with medieval fetish have said that this is a blasphemous rendition and, I reckon, they have every right, but I enjoyed immensely. Not perfect, but sufficiently cool.

Murder comes in convenient packages

A French homicide investigator investigates the gruesome death of a fellow countryman in Kiruna, Sweden. The TV series takes up to way up north amongst the native Sami people and townful of suspects. It makes an intriguing mystery, emphasized by the magical land where the sun never sets and the somewhat idiosyncratic people.

Invasion of the demonically possessed

Well, there's this demonic spirit hidden inside a wooden box. It ain't explained or anything, it's just a demon in a box. And also unexplainably it end ups in an antique store where it's purchased by the owner of Escape Room looking ways to revitalise his business. Four friends find it through the hard way when they are trying to escape from the hands of a demonically possessed madman.

Don't fuck with the dead

Arthur Bishop wants to retire his life as a mercenary, but he can't because people always find him, so he yet again has to cancel his retirement and continue killing people. Cheesy, plotholed little action thing.

The red blood of priest has flowed profusely

 

Two English-speaking Portuguese priests go to Japan to save another priest from Japanese persecution. It's also a perfect oppurtunity to infest Christian propaganda on simple minded Japanese pagans. I don't know what was Martin Scorsese's agenda on building up such a deliberately patronizing story.

A pawn being moved off the board

Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) is in a vendetta kind of mood for a truly good reason. His family is murdered and the culprits walk away with petty convictions. As good a reason as any to start murdering goverment officials. Altogether a very satisfying thriller with somewhat an anticlimactic ending, still one of the better ones at both Butler's and Jamie Foxx's career.

Broken lullabies

The war (WWI) is over, but Frantz ist tot and of course his family is grief-stricken. A mysterious French Adrien Rivoire appears on Frantz's gravesite and it's a guessing game whether he was his friend, enemy or lover - or all of them. Utterly beautiful film, stylishly shot in black and white.

Sometime yesterday morning

A young lad and a toddler, siblings, go missing during the Second Chechen War (1999 - 2009). As always in warfare, the innocent ones pay the consequences and with no means to fight back, escape and suffer. Part French part Georgian film of the heinous Checken years is captivating on its own right, but the main story of the lost children developed at frustratingly slow pace.

Talking shit is easy

Not my favourite band, I just like 'em just fine tho and appreciate the Gallagher brothers' candidness, honesty and particularly Noel's gift of songwriting.  Supersonic is a straight-forward, comprehensive and revealing documentary of the breakthrough years of Oasis.

Showtime, a-holes

The galaxy is on the brink of destruction and the guardians are going to save it, again. The first one was fucking alright, this is only partially cool. It has funny bits, strokes of genious if you will, but that doesn't cut it. Nice to see Kurt Russell, Sly Stallone, Michael Rooker and David Hasselhoff on the Marvel Studios production tho. 

The ambassador of death

John Wick wants to retire, but he can't because he is a badass and the underworld needs badasses like him. And that takes us to Rome, Italy, where he singlehandedly wipes out the local camorra. Soon he is a tagged man with a serious price on his head and the city of New York is the next battleground for John and mercenaries and assassins. Of course this is stupid as shit, but they knew what they were doing. Haven't checked, but I reckon the bodycount is somewhere in 100.

Grasping for resurrection

Already differs to its predecessors that it ain't kept entirely in closed confinement of a spaceship. So goodbye to the claustrophobic horror. It still - finally - is a Ridley Scott film, so it's a solid movie, altho at the same time it's a disappointment because it's nothing special. The alien species is freaky, deadly and scary, but the story - entwining with the Prometheus movie - alienated itself from the essence of the Alien franchise and quite frankly looks more like Prometheus 2.

What lies beyond the veil of death

A group of archaeologists and treasure hunters anger the old Egyptian Gods and one particularly nasty forsaken princesss (Ahmanet) rises from her sarcophagus to reconstruct an evil dagger or something of similar nonsensical nature. Actually the movie is smarter than the criticism it received, it certainly is more entertaining and funnier than I thought it was going to be. It's also fucklots sillier at that.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste

Not to give too much away, but Get Out is a thrilling story of white folks abducting, hypnotising and enslaving black people. The movie has a brooding atmosphere almost at Rosemary's Baby proportions, however it's from time to time dissolved with a healthy dose of black (no pun intended) comedy. One of the positive surprises of the year.

Dictating freedom

A thrill ride. Brilliantly executed film of the bombing of the 2013 Boston marathon and the manhunt that followed within. Can't think of any other 'Based on a true events' movie as of late that captures the emotions of the actual events as they happened. Works damn fine as a plain action movie too, cops go after the bad guys, and the intensity explodes before your eyes.

A bunch of meek dogs

It was surprising to see James Franco directing a serious movie based on a John Steinbeck novel of human rights activists and apple pickers who go on a strike during The Great Depression (1929-1941). It could have been worse, but frankly it could have been a thousand times better. Plethora of actors (Vincent D'Onofrio, Jack Kehler, Sam Shepard, Robert Duvall, Ed Harris, Bryan Cranston) do great, but often it was like nothing but paragraphs of the Steinbeck novel plastered together.

Midnight ride

Zaid (Dar Salim) is a surgeon who have doubts the Danish Police do shit to find his brother's killer therefore he investigates the murder himself. Trouble is blending in the criminal underworld in Copenhagen ain't no walk in the park, even if he disguises himself as a masked avenger. Pretty powerful stuff.

Spiralling out of control

The villagers both side of the border between Sweden and Finland want to lynch a lad considered extremely dangerous, a former convict who wants to reconcile his past. Pretty standard crime issue added with damn beautiful northern scenaries.

Never mine to lose

Doesn't deserve a thought this. Ridiculously unfunny comedy of armored vehicle robbers, the same hacknayed faces doing it.

Spending time at the cemetery

Roman (Arnold Schwarzenegger) loses his wife and daughter when two planes crash killing 271 people. The air traffic controller of those flights, Jake (Scoot McNairy), loses his marbles. Both have to somehow cope with massive doses of sadness, therefore we witness an endlessly boring story of a pain that doesn't go away and the final scenes of retaliation.

The truth is easy to remember

Three elderly (Michael Caine, Alan Arkin, Morgan Freeman) with nothing to lose decide to live their remaining years like kings, or in prison, because they intend to rob a bank. Fine, not that it ain't done before where aging gentleman go gung-ho (The Maiden Heist, Space Cowboys, Last Vegas), but I wish they once had wisdom of doing it seriously. This one, also, looks like a cheap slapstick comedy half the time.

On gallows duty

How do you defend a boy who went out and shot seven people? They are digging up his past, talking head to head with the inner demons. Supposedly a true story of a defense lawyer with a hopeless case and a warden on a death row duty.

X marks the spot

They discover Wolverine has a daughter, so the retired and the-best-before-date long past due superheroes (Wolverine and Professor Charles Xavier) have a new purpose in their lives. The girl can summon up - and thensome - the same ungodly forces as her dad, so there's plenty of bashing of skulls ahead. But unfortunately a whole lot of moody shit as well. It was advertised as one of the greatest movies of the year, which it is not.

The broken are the more evolved

There's no two ways about it, James McAvoy makes an excellent paranoid schizophreniac and rekindles the career of wonderkid M. Night Shyamalan who after an amazing start (The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs) produced flops (The Last Airbender, The Happening, After Earth) like there was no tomorrow. The story in short; a guy with 23 identities in the same body kidnaps three girls. A couple of the identities are of undesirable nature, therefore the battle of the mind and the battle of escape ensume. Quite exciting and entertaining.

History is full of darkness

A Swiss water treatment facility for the rich looks more like a mental institute or a prison. A young executive is sent there to find his boss and bring him back home to negotiate a corporate fusion. However the facility doesn't let anything go very easily. Lots of stuff should have been left out, the movie has been prolonged (two and half hours) for nothing, but when it's good, it's deliciously creepy. Most definitely influenced by Shutter Island.

Those who live beyond sunset

I watched the first season of Taboo almost at one sitting with my beloved dying cat on my lap (she saw the last two episodes in spirit only) and that adds certain mystique and privacy to the production. The series will remain very personal and unforgettable for the rest of my life. It stands well on its own as well; extremely powerful and charismatic story of a sinister, almost the devil incarnate, James Keziah Delaney (Tom Hardy) who wants to become a power figure in the trading business of the world. Hopefully the next season(s) keep up the good work and do its part on keeping the memory of my dear friend alive. Miss you dearly.

Taking a shower with a raincoat on

Jim Jarmusch's magical everydayness. Ordinary people and ordinary life. Bus driver Paterson with a knack for poetry and his cup cake designer wife living in the small town of Paterson, New Jersey. There's not much more than that but it's still great.

When the lights go out

A young woman with a drinking problem (Anne Hathaway) finds the connection between the little town she's residing and a towering monster that is destroying the city of Seoul, South Korea. Hats off to the weirdness of the script, but all the stuff around the original idea is just unimaginable humbug.

We all pee the same colour

Three bright African-American mathematicians help out NASA in a space race against Russia in the 60s. Fine enough an idea, but underlined the human issues more than was perhaps deemed necessary. There would have been shitloads more to say about the technical revolution that changed the mankind at that time, yet I also realize the focus of the movie wasn't on that, but the win the Academy Award.

Retro surf

Well, shit, this was actually rather funny. Easy to watch straight-to-DVD bullshit of a L.A. detective looking for his stolen dog. As harmless as they come.

Don't send a rabbit to kill a fox

There's a strong possibility I developed a fetish for Scarlett Johansson and her outfit in Ghost in the Shell, but I don't mind at all if I forget everything else in this cyberpunk nonsense.

No man comes home from war

Mid 70s, they've found an oddball island somewhere in the Pacific that's grown isolated from the outside world thus has its own flora and fauna. A group of scientists and mercenaries venture to map out the island and it turns out to be a life-threatening journey because the place is ruled by the king of the jungle Kong, an ape the size of a building. There are other gigantic beasts roaming about as well, skull crawlers among its deadliest animals, so a group of human beings are in constant danger zone. Great to have an adventurous movie 'midst the all the serious pictures I have seen as of late. Story was a bit wacky, but the movie looks absolutely fantastic.

A maniac, a thing no longer human

An authentic 80s slasher movie. A psychopath armed with garden shears is terrorizing a teenager summer camp. They've been doing similar horror stories for ages, the setup never fails; one creep is going after petrified young people. Curiously enough, this one is starring Jason Alexander (Seinfeld's George Costanza).

Fundamentally unsound

Maybe I don't like movies any more. Lots of this year's biggest, most praised and awarded productions - Fences, Hacksaw Ridge, La La Land and Moonlight - were either repulsively bad or totally indifferent to me, most often both. And this shit? Probably most boring of the lot and rewarding Casey Affleck the Best Performance award just does not make any sense.