The ultimate piece of human puzzle

England is exploring the uncharted waters of Amazonia. The legend says there's an ancient city ('Z') hidden in the jungle that is civilized beyond belief. It takes more than one expedition to have even a change of finding it and there's a little thing called WWI to fight out first as well. What a shame, almost an amazing film, but too many factual errors and general ridiculousness to be forgiven.

Memory is just another form of possession

Bunch of Northern individuals (+ Rwandan getaway driver) execute a bank robbery. Unfortunately their drunken heads are not quite to the task. Reasonably funny Finnish TV-movie.

Running in thickening streams of greed

Allan Karlsson is a 101 year old pensioner with a taste for booze, things exploding and adventure. In the sequel of The Hundred Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared (2013), Allan is obsessed in finding a recipe for exquisite Russian soda, trouble is the hunt is accompanied by a few other individuals and even CIA. Sounds a bit funky, but not that bad a story, can't beat the debut though.

Running around with no shoes on

If it weren't for the controversy surrounding the previous year's Academy Awards, this movie hardly hadn't raised an eyebrow, but this year it won the fucking shit. Terribly mediocre, downright boring story of a black gay kid growing up somewhere in the Miami ghetto.

Frost harvests the crop

One of the biggest bands in Finland, Eppu Normaali, and this is their biopic. Thoroughly interesting, from punk noise outfit to fully presentable orchestra. I reckon, even if you weren't into their music, or any music, you'd find it utterly cool. It's all same to me, regardless of the genre, I enjoy watching music documentaries.

Brushing your teeth is political

A timepiece of America in the sixties, when the country was in turmoil mostly because of the effects of the Vietnam war with all the riots, demonstrations, terrorism, revolutions and retaliations at hand. One family gets the worst of it. Interestingly, this is Ewan McGregor's directional debut. Sadly, it's only decent.

Declaring war on the whole world

Vikings season 4 volume II. Ragnar Loftbrok has an obvious deathwish. He's a lowlife, ruthless against his friends and foes. Yet again, he's revered as the undisputed king of the vikings and the world's most dangerous man by everyone. His possible death would unleash a retribution. Be wary England and France and Spain and the rest of the world. Intense and suspenseful season, amongst its very best.

Our father who art in hell

A reknowned Danish painter finds toughest competition in his own son, a famous street artist knows as The Ghost. They soon realize they share the same taste for art and women, so they have to battle it out. And we pretend we are interested.

Travel and conquer

A handful of gypsylike people living in a derelict trailer campsite commit burglaries in rural England. And, of course, the cops are on their tails - and that's all there is to it. Probably tried to be both funny and exciting, even sentimental, but I'm afraid failed on all. Quite reknowned people - Michael Fassbender, Brendan Gleeson, Sean Harris - in the ranks though.

God is a cunt

Bunch of door-to-door magazine salesmen indulge in debauchery and devil-may-careness while crossing the United States of America. This movie had a number of things to make me hate it: a hipster teenager road movie, overlong (two and half hours), shit road music and Shia LeBeouf. Somehow they made it through though, prob'ly because it shot the country in all its beauty and ugliness.

Surprised with thunder

A five-year-old Indian boy gets locked inside a moving train for couple of days and with that he loses contact with his mother and brother, and is forced to survive and deal with completely new surroundings, language and people. The movie took a sad undertone early on and it continues like that, but as always with the emotionally challenging pictures, there's brighter things looming on the horizon.

A lightning strike rescue op

I had never watched this up till now. Praised and recommended, but I had a gut feeling I wouldn't like it. I'm not too fond of Wes Anderson's calculated quirkiness, it's full of pretense. For instance Tod Solonz's, the Coen's even David Lynch's humour has lots more natural feel to it. Didn't enjoy this movie one bit.

The new American church

Ray Kroc didn't actually found McDonald's, the first fastfood restaurant, but he made it a global enterprise and with a little scheming and backstabbing stole the company into his name. Presumably most of the story here is true therefore it was great to follow how the whole rags-to-riches unfolds. However can't think of a reason to eatch this even again even though there's absolutely nothing wrong with it, they great actors are doing alright and all that, but the entertainment value is kind of limited.

Mind and matter meet

Dr. Stephen Strange is a self-centered disrespectful asshole until he almost kills himself in a car accident. He then becomes a key figure in a cosmic battle between good and evil. Purely on technical terms, this looks great even tho essentially it's just fantasy camp mumbo-jumbo.

Endless hope

German prisoner of war escapes his imprisonment in Siberia with an intention of walking back home to Berlin. The journey through Russian wilderness is colourful yet life-threatening. Luckily the resilient Russian spetsnaz lieutenant, who is after the prisoner, is always one step behind.

Stairway to paradise

Two men go to Aokigahara, the Suicide Forest in Japan, to end their lives but - beat that to irony - end up fighting to stay alive instead. American Arthur (Matthew McConaughey) and Japanese Takumi (Ken Watanebe) swap stories by the campfire, altho it's a one-way street there, Arthur's past is dug inside out whereas the Takumi character remains as paperthin as it was introduced, so much in fact that you are bound to wonder there's something fishy in the making. Better than the reviews I read.

Travelling forever, never arriving

A guy wakes up from hibernation in a spaceship travelling from the planet earth to a distant colony called Homestead II, trouble is he wakes up 90 years too early and all the other passengers (5000 + crew) are still fast asleep. Do you start waking up other people to get company and ruin their lives within or do you opt to suffer and die alone? The whole thought-provoking concept was great, at the beginning at least, however towards the end it began suffocating in its own nonsense.

The devil never came

Troy Maxson (Denzel Washington) - currently a garbageman, a former failed baseball player - is a bitter hard man. Self-righteous bastard if you will. He relieves his frustration and anger on building a fence. A rather powerful drama altho somehow it feels like it was built for possible academy award looming on the horizon. Seemed all too calculated.

Murder smells like honeysuckle

An insurance representative falls in love with femme fatale who wants to off her husband and gain good money. Together they come up with an ingenious plan to execute a perfect murder. There's no such thing though. A perfect movie nevertheless.

The iron tongue of midnight

An agent (Daniel Radcliffe) infiltrates an Aryan brotherhood gang to gather information about domestic terrorism involving chemical weapons of mass destruction. Not bad, essentially, but never really ignited and, frankly, looked made-for-TV at times. And, in truth, Radcliffe's boyish figure and his capability of delivering convincing neo-nazism was rather uneasy to watch, compared for instance to Edward Norton in American History X.

A repulsive murderer has himself been repulsively murdered

It's just crazy the cast on this one; Albert Finney, Lauren Bacall, Ingrid Bergman, Jacqueline Bisset, Sean Connery, Anthony Perkins, Vanessa Redgrave, Richard Widmark and so on. Wanted to see the movie because there's a remake (courtesy of Kenneth Branagh) on the way. Don't know if they're going to change the ending (disclosure of the murderer) with the remake - hopefully to do, not that there's nothing wrong with the ending, but there wouldn't be a point otherwise, would there?

Tin star with a drunk pinned on

Picked a John Wayne western on a whim. Never really liked the all American sheriff that much, but backed by Robert Mitchum and James Caan, I guess he does alright. Dispute of a land leads to war between two families and a bunch of drunk and crippled officers of the law stand in the middle.

On the wings of revenge

Drug trafficking is killing innocent people in the waters of Golden Triangle. Therefore Thailand, Laos, Myanmar and China are bound to put together a joint operation to eliminate the warlords of the trafficking business. As it traditionally comes with the Asian cinema, the action is high octane, it's remarkably well executed, so well in fact that the kung-fu shit, gun fights, knife fights and explosions engulf lots of the potential of the story. Nevertheless this movie was quite nice thing to watch.

Heathens be damned to hell regardless

An officer of the law (Liam Hemsworth) investigates a series of deaths in a town called Helena governed by a cultish preacher Abraham (Woody Harrelson). It's a one man against townful of christian nuts and their sadistic games. Unfortunately it's just bullshit at every level.

The power of dreams

To weed out competition, a young A&R man of a recording label takes matters into his own hands. We are living in the mid nineties at the height of Britpop. Bands and artists sold millions and coat tailing them were the management guys and label honchos. And they all partied hard. Some with exaggerated measure. Moments of brilliance, but the satire doesn't really carry all through the movie.

The starry skydome enormous

Could just well be the greatest music documentary ever released. A story of Jorma Kääriäinen - a wonderful laid-back musician - who goes through his career - more or less - as a mere Elvis Presley impersonator. Even though Kääriäinen is passionately almost in every frame of the movie, in the end this is more about the heart and soul of Finland, the weirdness of its people and the culture of the dance halls and gas stations that these hardworking musicians go round endlessly.

A dissident under communist regime

Anti-Russian anti-Putin author Viktor Erofeyev spekas his mind. He's not too volatile or offensive to be considered a threat, just a left wing liberal who is intellectual and objective enough to go roundabout ways with his criticism. We all realize though that it's too great, the mother Russia, that anything would change in a heartbeat.

The are screaming Kumba-no!

Five young adults find themselves inside a cheesy 80s horror/slasher movie and get out! Even if they know the script inside out, they've difficulties chancing the outcome that a threat of Jason Voorhees -type of character begets. Loved this more than I should have.

A murder just for the experiment of committing it

A masterpiece of a warped sense of humour. It's been years since I've seen Rope - a story of a 'perfect' murder unravelling to pieces - before and, damn, it's still as chilling and funny as ever. Classic Hitchcock.

30 ghosts

French skinhead goes on his nazi-loving business in Paris until he realises he's a bit wrong in the head and the ideology is shite. Surprisingly lame for a movie of this concept, but a decent story even if it took time to get used to its gallopy pacing.

Fates intertwined, cosmic coincidence

Because I had nothing better to do, I caught this from Netflix. Seen it a few times already. And it's still great. Tom Cruise's best work and just amazing cinematography courtesy of Michael Mann.

Better friends than people

Well, I read the novel when it came out and absolutely loved the story. A recovering junkie street musician adopts a street cat, or vice versa, and it feels like it all was written in the stars. None the better, these lovely little creatures and the cat Bob looks like the one I was honored to call my best friend for number of years until his untimely death last December. Miss you buddy.

Not a shirker, a scrounger, a beggar, nor a thief

Even with the matters of the heart of his own, Daniel Blake is a jolly good bloke. Already good to his friends and neighbours, he ends up caring for total strangers; a mom with two children who recently resided from London to Newcastle. Don't know what's up with British drama, it seems to generate with bottomless ease to those people.

Public life is afterlife

I truly fucking hate these hipster shit movies that try to be clever and intentionally low key. Extremely irritating. It took a better part of the movie to figure out what the fuck's going on. A shit movie anyways with a confusing and, quite frankly, infantile script. Though serves well for cringeworthy acting.

The little line between the numbers

I liked how this story unfolded. An assorted group of people living their ordinary lives in London; a retired rugby player trying to live up his past glory, a small-time gangsta wanting to leave criminal lifestyle behind, a singing taxi driver facing a terrible ordeal, and so on. Rather easy on the eyes the whole drama, very well performed and can't remember seeing the city of London presented so coolly for a good while.

Non-vital limb loss

It's not a too cool a place to hang out in the desert where no one can you hear you scream standing on a mine that will explode if you make a move. Buried, 127 Hours and even Phonebooth were something of a similar nature of claustrophobic thrills. Even worst of the lot, it's still decent, albeit flawed, cheesy and clishéd.

The fastest man on the earth

Jesse Owens ran (and jumped) like a motherfucker. It wasn't easy for the black folks in America in the 30s, but to even contemplate joining the 1936 Berlin Olympics hosted by the nazi Germany, Adolf Hitler and his buddy Joseph Goebbels was pure bravery. This was ok stuff, altho the racing events themselves were a bit too hastily depicted.

Head of snakes

Lampedusa is an island located perfectly (200km off Italy's southern coast) for the African and Middle Eastern migrants who are on they way to Europe. This documentary is about the leisurely life of the inhabitants of the little island, particularly two kids, the town doctor and radio host. I suspect, lots of the material was dramatized solely for the wellbeing of entertainment, however the issues with refugees were all too horrific to be nothing but true.

Live with the good

One of those feelgood family drama comedies. A man (John Krasinski) goes to his childhood neighbourhood to see his mom whose taken ill and all the other loved ones, old friends and family members. And so the reminiscence of yesterdays begins. Done a million times.

Debutants are sluts

There is the real life where artist Susan Morrow (Amy Adams) is reading a novel and there's the fictional life; the novel. The novel reads like a terrific thriller and the real life in its everydayness is nothing out of ordinary.

The cold song

Don't know how something so ordinary can be so captivating. Romanian movie focused on the life a doctor who is pulling all the strings he can muster to put her daughter to college. Can't remember, let alone name, any Romanian movies that I have seen, so this is a fucking good start. Great acting, direction to perfection.

Body-hopping demon on the loose

Of course, this is stupid as shit. There's an evil spirit roaming about and contaminating people who go on a murderous rampage. Jebediah Woodley (Dolph Lundgren) is a demon hunter after this heinous beast. Silly and stupid, but they knew what they were doing and, admitted, oftentimes it made me smile.

Kingi you wanker

Ricky Baker is put into foster care of a married couple living deep in the New Zealand woods. Some unfortunate things happen, and the dad and the boy have to go into hiding from the local police, bounty hunters and child welfare people. It's a bonding trip, a full-blown manhunt and a crazy adventure surrounded by majestic nature. A nice thing to watch, at times outrageously funny.

Grounds for hatred

I've said it before, I watch the worst movies solely for the reason that I want to know what to hate. This was absolute fucking rubbish and I love to hate it dearly.

A thing called the soul

Not bad. By the looks of the DVD-cover I thought it would be a slow-moving story of a war time romance between French Resistance fighter Marianne Beauséjour (Marion Cotillard) and a Canadian intelligence officer Max Vatan (Brad Pitt) with everything that's seen before. Turned out Allied is an interesting take on the WWII espionage where everything looks suspicious and downright deadly.

Life slipping through fingers

They said this is the best comedy of recent years and I liked it when they said that Germans have finally found a sense of humour. But I have to disagree. To certain extent at least. A white collar German woman is making business in Romania and suddenly his bohemian dad pays her a visit. Pretty enjoyable and easy-going the whole deal, but still a long way off from anything special.

Lord of the plains

Something else. A laid-back story of two brothers robbing banks in Texas and a couple of marshals chasing them. Wonderfully captures the rhythm and pulse of the Texan way of life. And when things get hard, they get real hard. The great suspense is backed up by cool soundtrack and amazing performances by Chris Pine, Jeff Bridges, Gil Birmingham and Ben Foster.

Dark is the reich of the dead

World War II, two German officers and their Norwegian prisoner are lost in Norwegian woods until they find a comfy looking mansion. However, to their misfortune, the house is haunted and all the horror breaks loose. Should be right on my alleyway, but can't really pinpoint the reason I didn't like it that much.

Some grand theatrics

Eight South Korean soldiers inflitrate inside the North Korean borders to gather information for the U.S. military so they can execute a successful attack on their enemy. Liam Neeson as General MacArthur and unfortunately his towering presence takes a little away from the perfectly average and overly dramatic war movie.

Streetfighting in wigs

Season two of Broadchurch. A small coastal town thriller, some people die, investigations ensue and a whole lot of people are under scrutiny. There are lots like these around, but gladly this one stand above most of them, wouldn't have watched it otherwise.