Murder and killing and violence

The only decent movie based on the notorious serial killer John W. Gacy is the first one, To Catch a Killer, a TV movie (1994) starring Brian Dennehy. This one (2010), starring a bunch of nobodies, is a fuckshite.

A family walks into a talent agent's office

It's just really a discussion about who can come up with the most foul-mouthed, vile and vulgar Aristocrats joke. And various comedians deliver and some - Bob Saget, Billy Connelly, Robin Williams, Sarah Silverman, Cartman (from South Park), Kevin Pollak, Doug Stanhope - are really funny. 

Riding the crucifix

I've read Swedish thrillers before, but this one reads more like serial killer stories written the other side of the Atlantic. Arne Dahl (pseudonym of Jan Arnald) challenges his peers Michael Connelly, Thomas Harris and Jeffery Deaver et al. quite easily, but the debut - Ont Blod - flip flops somewhat somehow somewhere.

Dear Ndugu

Not entirely flawless, but an enjoyable enough a movie dangling between dark comedy and bittersweet drama with phenomenal Jack Nicholson as a battered retiree and widower.

A milk run

Some of the footage in Ghost Protocol is deliciously hair-raising, but lots of action sequences are utterly useless, just technical show-off. Harmless turd, kind of a trademark thing, but still.

Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off

Yes Minister on cocaine. Yet again, one of those television shows I knew I'd relish, but somehow for years I've put off actually watching the series. Well, the first season made my day. Intellectual political satire with vehement, outrageously funny and vulgar dialogue. Really really good.

Monkeys make you hungry

What have I done for I've been hidden from Gold of the Amazon Women for thirty years?

Wizards, mermaids, travelers, adventurers, magicians

I never actually doubted it, but I was a little wary could Martin Scorsese master other than tough guy pictures. Hugo is fascinating. Visual. Epic. Wonderfully acted. Quite spellbinding fun.

I eat death for breakfast

During this movie I had time to think since it didn't exactly grab my attention. I thought that even if I absolutely love horror movies I don't think that in recent years I have seen a contemporary horror movie worth a fuck. Apart from some pseudo-horrors (Dead Snow, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil and Troll Hunter), my mind draws blank. Where are the Rosemary's Babies, Exorcists and Omens of today? This Wes Craven piece definitely ain't one.

Clock-punchers are easily replaceable

Well, pick up a rock and throw it at some random teenager and, there, he/she will write better comedy.

Live you fucking whore

Excessive violence and groundbreaking brutality in this zero-budget nonsense. Luckily, I had forgotten half of the movie before the welcoming end credits.

Wild at heart and weird on top

David Lynch musings and tirade for transcendental medication. A quick read, fairly interesting, probably a fucken must for whole lots of people.

The sound of sweet surrender

Well, I'm stupid, so I don't make much of these kind of movies where nothing really seems to be happening, but the slow-moving scenes, some would say, still are fucken powerful and magical. Gripping, even.

One day we're going to run out

Season 2 of An Idiot Abroad where Karl Pilkington acts a tad idiotic than he actually is. Or the hell do I know. Pretty cool television though, enjoyed it more than I guess I should have.

The nights got so damned cold

Though having read, say, a dozen novels of this famous Finnish author, I am not much of a fan. As a matter of fact, I don't consider him being much of a writer. A decent story teller, at best.

You motherfucker you

I realized I like Casino more than I like GoodFellas and how much I miss seeing Joe Pesci in movies.

Rich people go to Rio

I purchased this DVD solely because of the cover. Young Kim Basinger in spandex. All the rest is rubbish

Arsenal running dry

Maybe I liked this, maybe I didn't, maybe I need an ADHD shot after I saw this, I don't know. It was fast-moving, bit messy, funny in burlesque kind of way.

Cowards die many times before their deaths

And now we just patiently wait Hollywood to make its own version of Special Forces where elite soldiers rescue hostages and kill bad Taleban fuckers to hell. These French selfisly used all the clichés already, but that hasn't stopped you before.

Cemetaries and water are safe bets

It seems I change my opinions as often as my socks since I saw this piece a few years ago and I semi-liked it. Now, on the other hand, I could't stand the movie. Kevin Costner did his usual average style, William Hurt couldn't stand out, and people like Demi Moore and Dane Cook sent shiver down my spine every time I saw them. The story is rather ludicrous, too.

Smugness is not a good quality

My favourite Seinfeld regulars David Puddy (Patrick Warburton) and J. Peterman (John O'Hurley) make their entrance and having said that, make the others look better too.

Once more into the fray

Apparently no one cares if a plane carrying dozens of oil workers crashes down in Northern America. There's no rescue operation of any kind expected and then there are these wolves that hunt down humans for fun. They are special wolves. They are bigger and meaner and they are intelligent. Tough shit.

In need of a jackal

One of 'em post-9/11 witchhunts. Watchable, but without a little twist at the end, not much of a case for a movie.

Comfort to the enemy

Well, they made quite a mess with an Elmore Leonard story. There are the typical wacky characters, but this time 'round dialogue is baffled, humour is far from funny and Joseph Gordon-Lewitt or his character is trying to be too flashy with his non-existent charisma.

Poker is 100% skill and 50% luck

This has potential for decent comedy, but what it really is but a mishap in Steve Buscemi's career.

Integrity is something you sell the public

Back in the mid Eighties I guess I watched this movie once a week or something, just for the sake of the famous car chase scene, I was so hooked up to it. Now, a few decades later, the car chase scene is still the best driving scene there is, but otherwise there's a whole lot of silent scenes which, depending on the mood, are either masterfully engaging or wholefuckedly boring.

It never rains but it pours

This should get as much respect and recognition as the other Los Angeles Noir films Chinatown and The Long Goodbye. It's all good, writing is spectacular, dialogue is just spot-on and the actors, John Heard (shoulda won all the possible awards with this performance) and Jeff Bridges in particular, are making things happen.

Billions of blue blistering barnacles

Not my genre, but this was adventurous, action-ridden and spellbindingly beautiful. Quite as cool as the comic-books.

Tied with a clothesline, gagged, raped

I have seen the Swedish original and this is close to excellent albeit unnecessary remake. David Fincher kept the scenario in Sweden, swapped the language and actors, bit of a realism died along the way but do quite alright.

The journey is the destination

This was a movie of a mentally disabled, his parents and therapist. And yup, it's been done a few times. Based on a true story, but I didn't buy half of it.

Don't believe that other people believe in God

At the beginning, it was sharp and funny, it was obnoxious, but as the pages went by it wasn't such a vehement attack against God and Church and religions as it advertises itself. Instead it's a quick memoir of a stand-up comedian and magician of sort. Sure it has lots of funny bits and it's an easy read, but fistful of fire it wasn't.

The first casualty of war is truth

I guess I counted two rather impressive war scenes, all the rest was complete rubbish. I'd feel shame for the actors for being in this humbug, if they weren't acting so horribly themselves.

Through cerebro-spinal fluid samples

A remake of [Rec], which I yet haven't seen, though I've heard it's good. This is somewhere between good, hilarious and quite not that funny.

Life is too long

Bruce Willis as a booze-ridden cop escorting a convict (Mos Def) to justice and bad cops try to kill them dead.

The devil you know is better, than the devil you don't

I'm usually not much of a fan of fighting movies, but this knocked me right out me arse. The ending seems somewhat busied and unfinished, but otherwise excellent drama. Nick Nolte, Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton all do wonders.

Blame it on Finn

Solid yet pretty standard type of murder mystery with psychos and not the brightest of police officers. But it has some phenomenal nature sceneries and Peter Stormare is at his best as a lunatic lawman in the Swedish prairie.

The killer grows a conscience

If violence that makes no sense makes any sense to you, this movie could hit the right spot.

Wicked smart

A pretty witty drama that towards the end though became a tad stagnated.

One two many

When I was younger the first few Nightmare On Elm Street movies were cool and Freddy Krueger the character pretty much the perfect horror freak. This 2010 cut on the other hand is a desperate attempt to ride on the legacy, so desperate in fact that it shamelessly steals scenes and ideas of its predecessors. Well yeah, someone hollers it's a remake, but of what? The first? Didn't seem like it. The second? Don't know. Don't care.

Lawlessness grew to diabolical proportions

Not bad, better than I expected. But be it as accurate as it may, it remains somewhat a lame biopic that dances around Hoover's gayness and him being a political puppet master. Disappointingly, that's all there is to it. If he was, as I have always believed, something sort of a mad tyrant, it didn't expose here.

Away from death

Riding on the Road and The Walking Dead bandwagon, but with no budget, stars and flair for making suspense.

Truth is a luxury

Weirdly miscast a movie. Set in two time periods; Marton Csokas plays a young Tom Wilkinson and Sam Worthington plays a young Ciarán Hinds. But in truth, it looks quite the opposite. In particular, Marton Csokas is a dead-on match to young Ciarán Hinds whereas Sam Worthington seemingly depicts a log of wood. The story is about bringing a nazi doctor, the surgeon of Birkenau, to justice.

A cab ride home

Super mutants in a really long fight.

Kafka on wheels

I knew they would make a good movie of this Cormac McCarthy novel and they did. It just has an apartment and two people talking and that's it, but it still is has more stuff happening than most of today's movies. The actors Tommy Lee Jones and Samul L. Jackson sometimes even seem too enthusiastic with the wonderful dialogue, but they do alright.

Complicated, maddening mortals

Nothing that I haven't seen before. This type of comedy has come to its end.

Like a twist of rotten silk

Not that it was the first time or anything, but they were pretty ambitious, the film makers, and brought Shakespearean texts and sounds into present time. The actors were having a hoot, no doubt, Ralph Fiennes in particular was on fire, but as a whole the movie was tedious and boring experience. I just learned this was a Ralph Fiennes film, his first, so, well, good luck.

Dead men don't press charges

To tell the truth, I though of purchasing The Killing the original, the Danish one, but I got this one. But nevertheless, it was and still is a fucking intriguing who-dunnit mystery.

Thorns are on the road

Judging by the photos on the DVD cover, I thought of getting a high octane thriller with Dillem Dafoe as a hard-ass assassin, but I got a movie with enviromental issues. So the Tasmanian nature steps up, there's some drama and it's rather watchable and that's it.

Bank robbers make bank

Normally, I don't care much of these kind of comedies, but because I watched it straight after the  slow-moving Melancholia it seemed funnier than it actually is.

It tastes like ashes

Applauded and awarded as an epic masterpiece in Festival de Cannes. But not here baby. Boring shite.