That little fucker is unkillable

Obviously the sequel to The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017). Desperately tries to be hilarious, but ultimately fails. Cheap jokes everywhere and it's guns blazing all the time, action without purpose, waste of everyone's time.

Speak for the dead

After Hollywood, Finnish director Renny Harlin did a brief tour in Hong Kong and China. Bodies at Rest is his last film of that stint. Set in a morgue where, in a nutshell, gun-wielding maniacs want to dig out a bullet from one of their victims. Nothing overly special, a bit messy story, but rather fun and thrilling entertainment.

Wish upon a star

Seems like a well-crafted story of a father, mother and daughter. The father is a health inspector, the mom is dead and the daughter is in jail. Little golden nuggets are unfolding here and there as we observe their past, but in the end the film thoroughly disappoints with its unanswered questions. David Thewlis still steals the show. Directed by Atom Egoyan (Remember).

Creatures who suck the blood of the living

The flamboyant Count comes to England because he has purchased a derelict old castle. And he lusts for fresh and delicious British blood of course. To be honest, I didn't know the existence of this Dracula movie even though there are lots of heavyweights in the cast; Frank Langella as Count Dracula, Laurence Olivier as professor Abraham Van Helsing and Donald Pleasance as Dr. Jack Seward. Directed by John Badham in 1979. Not particularly outstanding adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel, but a visually atmospheric little horror tale.

Sorry that everything went to shit

Mel (Celeste M Cooper) likes to run in the woods. Long distances. Ultra style. She's geared up, but when couple of desperate sons of bitches come her way, a trek in the forest turns into a struggle for survival. After initial shock, Mel is up for a revenge. And it's Rambo time. But in the end makes a shit survival/revenge flick.

God, land, oil

They are a rough bunch. Vinnie Jones, Ron Perlman, Malcolm McDowell and Bruce McGill on the same movie. But the fun ends there. One drunken night in a bar between shady American and British businessmen turns ugly. So ugly that it causes serious malfunction in the joint enterprise. Straight to DVD crime film garbage.

In the golden lightning of the sunken sun

They are trapped on a beach that is aging people at rapid rate. 60 minutes is 2 years, so you age almost 50 years in one day. Not a particularly good spot to spend your vacation. But you can't get out either. You can't swim or walk out. You try, you pass out. Quite a deliciously horrifying story and a few rather breath-taking and clever momets in it too, but too much to chew on. Bunch of shit actors to boot. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

We are on a bull run

"In the coldest regions of North America, drivers traverse man-made roads over frozen rivers, lakes and oceans of ice less than 30 inches thick in 65,000 LB. vehicles. These treks are dangerous and often fatal. Some drivers describe them as suicide missions." Thus begins The Ice Road by Jonathan Hensleigh. The story is pretty simple. Wellheads must be delivered far north through ice roads so they can save bunch of trapped miners. Mike McCann (Liam Neeson) leads truckers on a dangerous rescue mission on ice. Corny, clichéd and flawed to the hell and back.

Getting discombobulated

I'm glad it's on Netflix now, makes things much easier. Season 3 is probably the most groundbreaking of all Seinfeld seasons with classic episodes such as The Pen, The Library, The Parking Garage, The Keys, The Pez Dispenser and - probably my alltime favourite - The Limo.

More like a farewell than a reunion

Timo is a loner. A misfit. He invites couple of his childhood friends to pay him a visit in his ramshacle farm. During his lonesome years Timo has been making movies and losing his marbles a bit. Like he puts it, he's been having strange sensations and his thoughts and feelings aren't healthy. When the old friends reunite, old grudges flare up. A ruthlessly underground arthouse thriller, at times annoying but strangely captivating nevertheless.

The heels of the corpse had turned blue

A stalker they thought was dead follows a newswoman to a remote mountain resort where she's at because of her past horrors. Things get shittier and more dangerous though because the stalker has turned into a werewolf and the other residents in the resort are a tad strange too. Cult horror from 1981, directed by Joe Dante.

If you fuck an angel, elephants rape you in hell

A young woman who lost her parents seeks vengeance and hires professional killers to eliminate the murderers. Pretty simple shit. Gets a bit bizarre because the story has a dentist who is writing the same script that unfolds together with it. Anyways, it's weird and mesmerizing and outstanding. Set in anarchic Berlin. Really quite good despite zero budget.

Just the orgasm speaking

If this was, say, an American or British TV film series, it was a hopelessly average crime drama. Being Australian, it's a down-to-earth and laid-back crime series and really quite funny. The story isn't nothing remarkable, missing people, drugs involved, a few deaths, but it's nevertheless entertaining.

Weapons capable of wiping out humanity

An ordinary businessman is caught up in a middle of Cold War and the brink of thermonuclear warfare. In the dangerous world of spies where things can go sideways in a blink of an eye, he's perhaps not the right man for the job, but he still could save the world from total annihilation as the Soviets and the Yankees are threatening to shoot rockets back and forth like there was no tomorrow! A stylish and in the end pretty grim espionage thriller based on a true story.

First kiss is magic

Four high school teachers find out that they are at their educative best when they are inebriated. They follow the footsteps of the great masters Hemingway, Churchill, Roosevelt, Jeltsin and the theory of psychiatrist Finn Skårderud that humans are born with a blood alcohol content deficiency of 0.05%. Nothing can go wrong. Outstanding tragicomic feast by Thomas Vinterberg. Could quite well be the best movie of 2021.

Future legends on a clear day

Winston Churchill has asked to create a secret army of spies. The first field agents are women and they are sent to nazi-occupied France to gather information and help out La Résistance. The slow-moving cliched war drama is unsuspenseful and it looks cheap and hopelessly amateurish.

The dandelions still wet with morning dew

Liam Neeson is a recovering alcoholic and a former cop Matthew Scudder, a famous private investigator from Lawrence Block's novels. He's investigating cases where sick fucks pick women off the streets of New York City only to demand ransom and chop them to pieces. A dark thriller of a downbeat detective. Liam Neeson is his usual cool self and, curiously enough, David Harbour (Stranger Things, Hellboy) in a role we're not used seeing him.

Enemies of the state

Local police do what they can in the troubled hoods of Malmö, Sweden, where thefts and rapes and killings are aplenty. An excellent series - translates to Thin Blue Line - of the men and women in blue in the turmoil of society and coming to terms with their personal lives in a city almost engulfed in flames.