The steel claws of a tiger

Elvis The King is concerned about the youth of America and wants to see people in charge, so he travels to Washington D.C. in hope of catching up with the head of FBI John Edgar Hoover and the president himself, Richard Nixon. Elvis wants to be a federal agent, an agent-at-large, and desperately wants a badge. It takes a whole lot of persuasion to turn stubborn Nixon's mind, but when the butting heads begins, it gets kind of interesting because there's two brilliant actors at it. But otherwise there's so little - if at all - to offer.

Satan is good, Satan is nice

Ray doesn't want to spend his holiday by the lake at a summer cabin. And why would he because his own neighbourhood gives all the thrills of adventure you can imagine. See, there's suspected worshippers of Satan living right next door. A little blast from the past, Tom Hanks' earlier comedies, directed by Joe Dante in 1989, it's still rather amusing.

History only remembers one in a thousand of us

I always love a good war game. This, no doubt, is one of the greatest. WWI issue gear and weaponry, no high-tech fancy pancy guns that destroy everything on your path that you see at most of the games. Such an amazing looking thing that I'll prob'ly have fun with it a few times more.

A miserable man out of a perfectly happy horse

Young doctor from Oxford sets foot on Stonehearst Asylym, a little madhouse in the wilderness, to discover that the lunatics are running the place. Based on a short story by Edgar Allan Poe, yet beats me how the stellar cast (Kate Beckinsale, David Thewlis, Ben Kingsley, Michael Caine and Jim Sturgess) fucks it up or at least can't save anything. Of course, not to altogether them to blame, adapted to shit to begin with.

The cycle of water

There are 190 000 lakes in Finland. This is a story of one, what happens above and beneath its surface within a year, from long icy days of winter to warmth of summer. How toads, otters, seals, beavers, elks, bears, fish and birds live their lives there. Celebration of immensely beautiful nature.

Temporarily hidden

Evil aliens shoot down USS Enterprise - the mothership of the Star Trek fleet - and the crew gets lots in an unknown planet. They have to outsmart the inhabitants to ensure a successful rescue & escape mission. I don't follow this or any other cultish scifi, not with the usual passion at least, so therefore always feel a little left out. Presumably hundreds of thousands of cool little inside jokes fire past without me noticing. Still quite watchable though.

The perfect rape

A comedy of sex and sexual fetishes. The comedy part kind of ain't there, I mean it's decent, but it simply ain't funny enough. Subtle little laughs here and there, sure, particularly at the end, but that's all. The story goes through different sexual fetishes of four or five different couples, nothing too crazy and weird though.

Cheerleading tryouts

Hate it these days when they think with these superhero comic shit movies that if it's flashy, violent, action-packed and weird, it's great. But it ain't. Suicide Squad is like a mishmash of millions of  - mostly computer generated - things happening, it's not a film. Said it before, it's like watching a very clichéd video game, and not playing it. And the people here, doing the acting bit, fucking can't do shit.

Dad is selling pretzels

In the early sixties Finnish boxer Olli Mäki is preparing for a world title fight. The problem is he is in love (the manager quote, 'The shittiest moment to fall in love') and he hates the circus that precedes the match. The contemporary Finnish cinema is in standstill and this one brings breath of fresh air by harking back to the good old days of melancholy and taciturnity. Wonderful ending (with the real life Olli Mäki making a cameo) to boot.

The disappearing woman

The boogeyman appears when the lights are out. Wow, I'd kill to be part of a group who brainstorms genius shits like this.

The wretched of the earth

They are after Richard Ruper, a sly and all-powering international arms dealer. Some drastic measures must be taken to infiltrate his inner circle, so a rogue intelligence agency teams up with a former Iraq war veteran. Based on a John le Carré novel and put together by Susanne Bier. Just absolutely thrilling mini series, all the great espionage shit is there.

A rat will choose cocaine over food and water

Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria. Essentially known as a drug lord and trafficker, philanthropist on the side, but truly a heartless bastard. The first season of Narcos in and it seems like one of the better shows. Unembellished depiction of the drug war in Columbia in the Eighties.

Eliminate evil and purge as one

They've fixed the rules a little in The Purge, the annual game in the U.S. where in 24 hours you can do whatever you feel like, no law abides. You can slay, slaughter and murder the all you want. I guess this is already the 3rd one in the series and even if it's a bit repetitive, it's - despite the silliness - brutal fun.

Attack of the plastic

An autobiographical ('based on real events') movie of a Finnish punk rock band Apulanta directed by its former bass player, so it's a perfect channel to feed his own ego. Which it does, a lot. I tried to brush it aside the best I could and I only realized I never have liked the fucking band.

War is economy

It's all too typical story of the perils of arms trafficking. Not that bad as such, but unfortunately those two knuckleheads in the lead - Miles Teller and Jonah Hill - are seriously not convincing at all.

Taking a boat to a bigger boat

Disney presents so you know for a certain that there are no cusswords and there's no blood or open wounds, tits aren't hanging around either. This is a catastrophe movie of storming weather and seasoned seamen. Luckily the seamen don't speak foul language, they don't bleed and aren't interested in girls. Bunch of well known actrs who aren't good actors in real life (Casey Affleck, Chris Pine, Eric Bana) are suitable enough for this fairytale.

Holding on to ghosts

Peter the psychiatrist is cast adrift between the living and the dead, can't figure out if he's hallucinating things or has the past come to haunt him and his quilty conscience. Bone fide psychological horror built upon mystery upon mystery, so much in fact that it kinda cuts the edge off.

Welcome to the land of the free

There's a sniper with his bad-ass dog hunting down illegal immigrants in the U.S. - Mexican border. He's quite ruthless, and mental, portrayed by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, not much far off from his role in Walking Dead. A simple thrilling flick.

The higher you get, the harder you fall

Judd Apatow's satire of teenage pop culture has the life span of attention for about five minutes, full movie is overkill and everything that was funny and fresh just melted away.

Too old for lies

An elderly man (Christopher Plummer as Zev) goes on a bucket list mission to avenge his family's murder at Auschwitz in WWII, so four suspected former SS officers all named Rudy Kurlander living in United States have a target on their backs. The story of a hitman with dementia is both heartbreaking and immensely brutal. Killer movie. A great way to start a new year.

2016

MOVIES

The Martian (Ridley Scott)
Horns (Alexandre Aja)
Tangerines (Zaza Urushadze)
Southpaw (Antoine Fuqua)
It Follows (David Robert Mitchell)
The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (Guy Ritchie)
Wild Tales (Damián Szifrón)
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Christopher McQuirrie)
Häiriötekijä (Aleksi Salmenperä)
Special Correspondents (Ricky Gervais)
The Gift (Joel Edgerton)
Insomnia (Erik Skjoldbjærg)
Legend (Brian Helgeland)
We Are Twisted Fucking Sister! (Andrew Horn)
Black Mass (Scott Cooper)
The Sand (Isaac Gabaeff)
Racing Extinction (Louie Psihoyos)
Deadpool (Tim Miller)
Takaisin Pintaan (Juan Reina)
The Conjuring 2 (James Wan)
Jackie Brown (Quentin Tarantino)
The Revenant (Alejandro González Iñárritu)
What We Do In The Shadows (Jermaine Clement, Taika Waititi)
The Hateful Eight (Quentin Tarantino)
I Am Thor (Ryan Wise)
En man som heter Ove (Hannes Holm)
Sicario (Denis Villeneuve)
Bridge Of Spies (Steven Spielberg)
Suburra (Stefano Sollima)
Money Monster (Jodie Foster)
10 Cloverfield Lane (Dan Trachtenberg)
Joy (David O. Russell)
Room (Lenny Abrahamson)
Spotlight (Tom McCarthy)
The Legend Of Barney Thompson (Robert Carlyle)
Captain Fantastic (Matt Ross)
Katsastus (Matti Ijäs)
The Brothers Grimsby (Louis Leterrier)
Bone Tomahawk (S. Craig Zahler)

TV-SERIES

Bosch
Fargo
Ash vs. Evil Dead
Sopranos
Banshee
The Missing
Walking Dead
Stranger Things
Game Of Thrones
Broadchurch
Ray Donovan
Happy Valley
Vikings

BOOKS

Saul Black - The Killing Lessons
Jeff Wagner - Soul On Fire, The Life And Music of Peter Steele
Mikko Kivinen - Helvetin hyvä elämä
Tommi Liimatta - Tie Taipuu Sami Yaffa omaelämäkerta

GAMES

Mad Max
Uncharted 4
Wolfenstein the old blood

R.I.P.

Sulo
Robert Vaughn
Abe Vigoda
Alan Rickman
Prince
David Bowie
Andrzej Wajda
Riki Sorsa
Nick Menza
Larry Drake
Carrie Fisher
Debbie Reynolds
Umberto Eco
Harper Lee
Herschell Gordon Lewis
Anton Yelchin
Michael Cimino
Jouko Turkka
Doris Roberts
George Kennedy
Pentti Siimes
Dario Fo
Curtis Hanson
George Gaynes
Rick Parfitt
Pekka Valkeejärvi
George Martin
Fidel Castro
Peter Vaughan
Garry Shandling
Bill Nunn
Jon Polito
David Huddleston
Gene Wilder
Leonard Cohen
Paul Daniels
Johan Cruyff
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Caroline Aherne
Mohammad Ali
Glenn Frey
Scotty Moore
Gordie Howe
George Michael
Andrew Sachs