Your pecs are epic

Only 30 minutes. This last 30 minutes. And apparently it takes me 30 minutes to drink a bottle of red wine. Because that's what I did. Probably the best 30 minutes ever invented. Journey through "Whoah, what did I just see?!" Amazing.

Lonely slipper

The mechanic from Mississippi ain't no ordinary mechanic, no, he's an ex-assassin. And he has a daughter missing, so you better beware. One of those silly bits you forget as soon as you have walked out.

Immersionism

A seemingly peaceful hippie parish in some desert island ain't quite as it's advertised. Three film makers learn it through the hard way. Right there in the Jim Jones territory. Had they dropped the hand-held cinematography they could have made something rewatchable of it.

Devil is let loose

A photography book of a rather famous Finnish band. It chronologically - album by album - follows their career with pictures and words penned by their front man. Nothing much, it's as average as their music.

All the right reasons

I don't usually care much for character-driven slow-moving dramas, but this has a good thing going. A mean little gag orchestrated by couple of teenagers has massive consequences and we witness how things develop from there on.

The perils of instincts

It took me a while to realize that I had seen one movie of this series already. If it is a series, dunno, but based on Jussi Adler-Olsen's novels and starring these two detectives (played by Nikolaj Lie Kaas and Fares Fares). Cool Scandinavian crime, cozy textbook stuff really with the typical characters you've seen a thousand times, but you quite enjoy it still.

Technicians of the sacred

Among my favourite artists, if not my favourite artist, so I would have liked this movie regardless of anything. Anyways, it's wonderfully fact and fiction combining, revolves around the band (during "Push The Sky Away" album recordings) and Nick Cave himself. Mostly factual of course, but it's presented in a brilliant fictitious way.

Haters gonna hate

I don't understand what was all the fuss about regarding this movie. It's just a shit comedy by people who cannot make you laugh.

It never rains

I liked ManU when these lads were in the team. Six childhood friends making the dream come true (with incredible managing staff behind, Ferguson and others). A two hours documentary, flew by in an instant, like them matches do. A great game of football, there's nothing quite like it. YNWA dude myself.

Nej nej nej

Well, the idea wasn't born yesterday. A group of good-looking twenty-something people go to a long-abandoned summer cabin in a middle of nowhere. I've seen Evil Dead wanna-be's and copy-cats but not a Swedish one before. Not mightily good, literally a bloody mess, but I can deal with this kind of shit.

Holocaust reloaded

We follow two girls, little German nazi symphatizers. And it's a bit unpleasant and obnoxious world all that Hitler crap.

On naked solitude

David Cronenberg goes that one extra mile ridiculing the Hollywood struggle for fame. Love the way he sometimes executes these disquieting scenes out of nowhere. Inside jokes were fired from left and right, and it was a little concern that you missed some of them.

Wet, stormy, pungent sea

Twins - Milo and Maggie - both a have deathwish. That's a good start, but they ruined it by constructing the bulk of the story with lukewarm quasi-drama.

Protective death soldier

An American small town gets a turn-over once a creepy army guy sets things straight. Almost there in the Twilight Zone territory, but it's pompous, false, synthetic and plastic in all possible ways.

He's here somewhere

I had already played the Sniper Elite 3, so I gave this a go and it was a hoot. I killed Nazis and Ruskies equally.

A twisted fucking slut

One of those things. Without even knowing it, you're keeping a gem on your shelf. Happens once or twice a year that something like this comes your way and knocks your fucking socks off. These two - Clive Owen and Billy Crudup - would have deserved all them little awards and standing ceremonies out there and the rest of the cast (Zoe Saldana, Mila Kunis, James Caan, Marion Cotillard, Noah Emmerich, John Ventimiglia, Lili Taylor, Domenick Lombardozzi and the legendary Mark Mahoney) is an interesting bunch as well. Otherwise a brilliant depiction of 70s small-time gangsters and cops in New York, and their intertwined relations.

Back to the stone age

Some English prison and the inmates are at each other's throats. This one geezer - the latest arrival - is particularly explosive and bends the rules of the concrete jungle. Brilliantly acted and, I reckon, realistic enough a prison movie.

Do you want me to ask you what he asked me to ask you?

I like movies with weird characters, not intentionally weird just the natural kind, like the people in Tom Waits songs. This is packed full of that shit; mob boss with cool hairdo (De Niro), hooker with a blue hair, that one guy with an eyepatch, crazy cops and a crazy midget, curious motel manager (brilliant Crispin Glover) and the bagman (Cusack) with a bullet hole in his hand. They almost make this movie roll. Nonsensical story fucks it up.

Planet Popcorn

It's nice to get one of these for a change. An old-school thriller that doesn't go technical roundabout ways, just some scheming and backstabbing, bits paranoia, a little murder. Courtesy of Patricia Highsmith (based on her novel).

Entirely made of chicken shit

Hadn't I got a silly personal agenda to finally get to watch The Bay, it probably would have passed me by unnoticed. Now that I have seen it, let's just say that it was a better movie before.

All the world's weight hangs in balance

Romanian prince Vlad Dracul discovers a plethora of new interesting talents when he transforms into a vampire. Invading Turks shit in their pants. Bram Stoker's Dracula is an endless source of inspiration for film makers, allowing them to produce these fucks.

Listens like a pen

This was very fucking good and at first I didn't understand the negative feedback. But in the end it was just average. I mean, it had all the makings - amazing cinematography (as always in Anton Corbijn's films) and incredible acting work (Philip Seymour Hoffman's last work, in fact died a week after the premiere) - and all within my favourite genre, but it really didn't go anywhere and when the end credits rolled I was pissed off. I was up for more plots and subplots, at least give us a proper explosive fucking finale. This movie was almost fucking great.

We killed a chicken in front of 70,000 hippies

Alice Cooper. Never my favourite artist. Offstage, a gentleman Vincent Furnier. On stage, a quasi-mythical stage persona Alice Cooper. And as this documentary shows the stage persona is taking over things and a little bit of this and little bit of that became a little bit more and eventually them things blew out of proportion. It's somewhat alright, this film, but it was like watching a fast-forwarded biopic, Alice Cooper's long-lasting career was presented in an instant. And the music wasn't really there, the tunes were barely mentioned, or heard. And same goes to couple of former band mates Glen Buxton (R.I.P.) and Michael Bruce, both once crucial song writers of the band, but shamelessly left out of the film.

When the chips are down

In its own right kind of an ok disaster movie, but to be perfectly honest, amateur roster or not, the acting made the fucking thing ridiculous.

Going to hurt like a fucker

It wasn't funny business getting in between the protestants and catholics in the 70s Belfast. Hadn't seen too many, but this is arguably one of the best films of those highly volatile times.

Too many captains on the island

I hadn't seen this maybe in 10 - 15 years, but back then I kept watching this hours on end, so I hadn't forgotten much. Nice with the Bluray-updates and all, lost none of its original appeal.

In the light of our new sun

Earth is dying, suffocating in its own filth, and humans are set to colonize other galaxies. Almost three hours of space jargon and the bits that dropped me off the radar somewhat frustrated me, but otherwise a hair-raising adventure.